I’ve often heard people advise ladies and men to have a backup boyfriend and girlfriend in relationships, which means that apart from their main partner, there is another boyfriend or girlfriend somewhere. While some people will agree with their whole hearts that having a backup relationship is good, the consequences also can’t be overemphasized.
This article explains in detail the benefits and disadvantages of having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend in relationships.
Advantages and benefits of having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend:
1. IT SAVES YOU FROM HEARTBREAK.
The main advantage of having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend in relationships is to avert the emotional trauma associated with heartbreak. Perhaps I’ve seen a situation where someone committed suicide after her boyfriend dumped her. If your current partner messes up with you in the future, you can easily switch over to your backup boyfriend or girlfriend, which can save you from heartbreak.
Having a backup boyfriend or girlfriend gives you the opportunity to flex and have fun. For instance, if your main girlfriend isn’t giving you her attention, you can easily switch to your backup girlfriend, and this can save you from having unnecessary headaches.
3. OPPORTUNITY TO CHOOSE.
Another benefit of having a backup relationship is the opportunity to choose which of them is best for you. Sometimes you have to taste two things to know which one is better and the right choice for you.
DISADVANTAGES AND CONSEQUENCES OF BACKING UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
I’ve heard of relationship counselors and therapists advising people in relationships to have a backup boyfriend and girlfriend. Whichever relationship expert gives you such advice is wrong because it comes with consequences. Let’s take a brief look at the disadvantages of having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend:
Of course, that heartbreak that you have been running from may happen. If your main partner finds out that you
have a backup relationship. Do you still expect them to take you seriously when you have an extra tyre? Perhaps your main boyfriend or girlfriend thinks they’re just the extra tyre and not the main tyre. So if you are scared of heartbreak, better stick to your main partner than create a backup; otherwise, you may regret it.
Nobody is as confused as someone who has a backup relationship. You can’t love two people equally at the same time, and even if you do, you will always be confused about whom to choose. What if you find out that your backup girlfriend seems better than your main girlfriend in some aspect and vice versa? You can never love them both, and this can crash your relationship.
3. SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (STDS)
Most times, backup boyfriends and girlfriends are usually for “benefits’ purposes and not for a serious relationship, which means your backup boyfriend or girlfriend might also have another partner somewhere, which can put you at risk of contracting STIs. Some STDS are deadly, and some are difficult to treat. There is nothing as sweet as sticking with your main partner. It saves you from all these shitstorms and gives you peace of mind.
4. IT MAKES YOU LOOK CHEAP.
Having a backup boyfriend as a woman only makes you cheap, and I wonder what your future will look like because you could get manipulated easily by your lovers. Have you ever sat down to think about how cheap you will look to your boyfriend if he ever finds out that you have a backup? You begin to start telling all sorts of lies to cover yourself up. He will never respect you again, and this will make you lose your worth before him.
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We’ve heard a lot of stories about women bringing another man’s child for their husband and about a father having a child outside their matrimonial home. This can only happen when you have a backup boyfriend and girlfriend. It will be difficult to let go, and your backup partner can also threaten to expose you to your main partner if you stop giving them sex. The consequences of having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend are greater than the benefits.
ALSO READ: 12 Simple Things Ladies Do to Deceive Men
5. IT DRAINS YOU.
Having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend drains more of your time, resources, and energy. It will make you lose concentration on your studies, job, and career. It is not that easy to give your main partner and backup partner your full attention at the same time because you will be trying to please both of them.
You will keep wasting your money, airtime, and data subscription browsing the internet for love messages and how to satisfy them both, hoping that either of them will propose to you, which may never happen. Sometimes you will just be confused about how to handle this kind of relationship. Stick to your current boyfriend or girlfriend; never consider having a backup partner.
6. IT RESULTS IN TRUST ISSUES.
Having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend will increase the insecurity in your relationship, which may result in trust issues. You will find it difficult to trust your boyfriend or girlfriend with the belief that they too have a backup relationship like you do. Perhaps if your main partner detects you have a backup relationship, they will never trust you like they did in the first place.
Having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend can affect you psychologically. When you continue to have a backup boyfriend and girlfriend in relationships, surely heartbreak is inevitable, and when this happens, it can lead to depression, and this kind of depression can cause more psychological trauma, especially when you have frequent heartbreaks in a relationship.
8. MORE SEX PARTNERS.
Having a backup boyfriend or girlfriend means having multiple sex partners, and when you have sex with them, it is possible that you develop feelings for them even when you never wish this to happen. Multiple sex planners can make the experience different, which can result in sexual issues and also ruin your life.
ALSO READ: THE BENEFITS OF PATIENCE IN EVERYDAY LIFE
Is it okay to have a backup boyfriend?
No! Having a backup boyfriend isn’t okay at all; it may cause your relationship more harm than good. It’s better not to be in a relationship than to be in a relationship with someone and still be in love with someone else.
When is it safe for one to have a backup boyfriend or girlfriend?
1. Your current partner constantly cheats on you.
If your current boyfriend or girlfriend has been cheating on you and you catch them often, it’s safe to have a backup relationship, but why back it up when you can just quit the relationship for peace of mind and your mental health?
2. You are in a toxic and abusive relationship.
If your relationship is toxic and abusive, it’s safe to have a backup boyfriend or girlfriend. Besides, there is no reason to stay in an abusive relationship; it is better to end a toxic relationship than to have a backup.
3. When you are not compatible.
The beginning of a relationship is always sweet, but not until you get to know each other better, and that is when you realize you are not compatible. If you think you and your current partner are not compatible in any way or have no future together, it’s safe to have a backup relationship, but ask yourself, “Why backup when you can just break up with them silently without hurting anyone?
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How do you know if you are the backup girlfriend?
If you are his backup girlfriend, there are some signs to watch out for to be able to detect them and know what to do. Check out my article on Side Chick vs. Main Chick” to know whether you are the backup girlfriend or not.
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Do girls have a backup boyfriend?
Yes, some ladies who have a backup boyfriend do so due to a lack of contentment and peer pressure. Some men don’t know when to back off. Even after you tell them you have a boyfriend, they will keep disturbing you until you say “yes,” thus becoming your backup boyfriend. If you tell a man that you already have a boyfriend and are in a serious relationship and such a man still tells you that he doesn’t mind, just know that he only wants to keep you as his backup girlfriend, so stick to your main boyfriend to avoid falling into temptation.
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Do you think I should have a backup boyfriend and girlfriend?
No, don’t try it. Whoever gives you this kind of advice is wrong. If at all you feel like there is a need for a backup relationship, you should ask yourself why. Then address it directly with your partner. You see, nobody is 100% complete. So if you are trying to get a backup girlfriend because your main girlfriend is 80% and now you are looking for another woman with the 20% that is lost in your main girlfriend, later you will realize that your backup girlfriend also lacks the 80% in your main girlfriend, so when you try to switch back, it might be too late for you, and this can affect you psychologically.
What advice do you have for someone who has a backup boyfriend and girlfriend?
Everybody has his or her own life to live, and how they live it is their choice. The best advice for anyone in this situation is to decide. Pick one and let the other go. This might be challenging and confusing for you, but the longer you wait to make this decision, the tougher and more difficult it gets for you. The choice is yours.
In conclusion, the major benefit of having a backup boyfriend and girlfriend is that “you are less likely to get hurt in a breakup.” Backup relationships will ruin your current relationship, get you confused, drain you emotionally and physically, and prevent you from meeting your life partner. The best you can do is stick with your current boyfriend or girlfriend.
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