RELATIONSHIP

4 THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE SAYING ‘YES’ TO A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE

Love is beautiful especially when you meet your special made. Love is an affection or feelings developed towards another person. Based on my understanding, Relationship is the coming together of two people with an agreement of building a future or a career together with love as a foundation. While building a relationship can be easy, there are some things to consider before accepting a marriage proposal or going into a relationship.

The hope of everyone in a relationship is to get married to their soulmate someday, maybe sooner or later. Unfortunately people overlook these things that ought to be considered first before saying ‘Yes’ to a relationship or marriage which might later become an issue in future for the relationship growth. So What are these Things ??

1. RELIGION

Religion Should be the first thing to consider before saying yes to a relationship. There are many people that say “RELIGION” doesn’t matter in a relationship. With my definition of relationship above, it is very important to consider Religion before accepting a marriage proposal. I think the purpose of a relationship is to build a bond together that will definitely lead to marriage so how will you cope with having two religions at hand?? Religion doesn’t really matter in relationships but it does matter in marriage. Love is beautiful but I can tell you that love does die and love does fade away and one of the things that can make the relationship not work is religion.

As a lady, you already know that when you marry, you will convert to your husband’s religion. The question is, are you ready to convert?? This is a very important thing to consider. it is not really about you but your unborn child, how will they be brought up? One of my Christian sister married a Muslim years back, she converted to Islam and started doing accordingly, it got to a stage she went back to church again and when she gave birth, her husband Named the Child Rukayat, sister named her Deborah. Though there are no issues with them, it is obvious that there might be loopholes in the marriage which makes me concluded that Religion should be the first thing you need to consider before saying yes to a relationship and marriage proposal.

What Should I do if I fall in this category??

Maybe your partner is from another religion the best thing is to show interest in your partner interest, if S/he is a Christian you can show passion for Christianity and if S/he is a Muslim you can start practicing the religion as well remember Love is What brings you together therefore religion should not separate the relationship however both of you should sit, discuss and reach an agreement. Talk about it, there is no way you can run away from this fact, religion is one of the things to consider either in a relationship or marriage. Will you be able to tolerate your partner’s religion ? Think about this before saying ‘YES’ to that proposal.

ALSO READ: ARE YOU A BIG GIRL OR CHEAP GIRL? (Check Out 11 things that define a Big Girl)

2. MEDICAL COMPATIBILITY

It is important to note your partner’s medical records and family history before entering the ocean of love. This is another thing to consider before saying yes to that marriage. There was a lady I proposed to a long time ago and the very first question she asked me was “My genotype and blood group.” I was forced to do a Medical check up and I realized that we were not compatible.

There are some people that you will genuinely love and would love you in return but circumstances won’t make you want to be together and what are these circumstances? Medical compatibility is one of the circumstances. Some people do ignore this and boom they rush to marriage which is very wrong and this may result in serious health conditions for their children in future. Maybe the man is of the genotype AS and the woman is AS and they later give birth to a child with the SS genotype. Such a couple may blame it on village people meanwhile it is a result of their ignorance. Before you accept that marriage proposal, make sure you do a Medical checkup to examine if both of you are compatible. This will save you And your kids from any health complications in future.

3. CHOICE.

This should have been the number one thing to consider before saying yes to a relationship as people have different choices and tastes. Thus before accepting him/her into your life, You need to ask yourself if S/he is truly the man of your dreams for you not to end up in a confused state, it is advisable you go for your choice then build that choice to your own taste. What does choice mean?? It means the type of man/Woman you desire. God doesn’t choose for people, it is you that will choose for yourself while God will bless your union.

Many people has been misled when it comes to choice, I think I’m the only one who knows what is best for me, I am the one who knows what I like and want same as you, you know what is best for you so running to a prophet to choose for you is not encouraging at this century.

What is the choice I’m talking about here?? Let me explain this way maybe you will understand, There was a lady I met Online sometimes ago and we started dating In fact the feelings was very strong and we agreed to meet in real life like seriously it was when we met that I knew I wasn’t her choice, she was an Extrovert while I’m an introvert, she tried to build me to her taste but nothing can change me from being an introvert so we had to go separate ways, yes we love each other but the fact is, love is not enough. The relationship didn’t work because our choices are different.

Choice is not about how tall, handsome or beautiful S/he is, it is liking the type of person S/he is. Choice means loving someone for whom S/he really is. The truth is, we all know our choices but sometimes we do go beyond our boundaries. Picking your choice would definitely prevent cheating in future and possible heartbreak.

What should I do if I make the wrong choice or what can I do to know if my relationship is the right choice?

Building your partner to your own taste is the best way to make him/Her your own choice. For instance, if S/he doesn’t know how to dress and your choice is someone who knows how to dress you can teach him/Her about fashion. You know a relationship is always sweet at first, it is when the relationship continues that you will later discover if S/he Is your choice and if you discover S/he isn’t your choice you can build him/her to your taste. Don’t always expect Him/Her to love you for whom you are When you are not ready to make adjustments where necessary.

I happen to be a guy who doesn’t know how to dress and speak English fluently and Instead of her dumping me, she built me to her taste, how? She bought cutlery for me and taught me how to use them. She would always teach me what to say in public, How to dress and whenever we are together, we communicate in English. You can see I wasn’t her choice in the first place but she built me to her taste and likewise me as well. We built ourselves to each other’s taste and choice. I don’t think I can cheat or break up with her as long as I am with my choice, Even if I want to cheat? I will ask myself why should I go for another choice when the first one is working?

Six (6) Things That kills Relationship

However, There are some people that you can’t build them to your taste, for Instance, when you are dating a Dog, a dog will always be a dog there is nothing you can do to change him/her no matter how hard you try, you can’t change someone that doesn’t want to be changed S/he will always fuck around because that is who s/he is.

In short, choice is very important. So before saying “YES” to that proposal, think about if S/he is the man/woman of your choice. Going for your choice will prevent possible heartbreak and cheating in future.

ALSO READ: 8 Reasons Why Dating Your Course Mate is Good

3. SEXUALITY.

Some couple see Sex as dirty or not necessary in relationship but I think partners should discuss about sexuality in the relationship and not pretend or assume everything is okay. Some couple wish to talk about this but most times it’s probably because they are shy or maybe because they don’t want their partner to see them as a whore, or maybe they don’t want to be seen as naughty or dirty whichever the case maybe, sexuality is one of the things to be considered in relationship.

Sexuality means knowing your partner Sexual capacity and weaknesses and seeing if both of you matched sexually. Let me explain this way for you to understand better how important sexuality is, a friend of mine once had a girlfriend and they loved each other and God bless this guy so much that he is rich but the problem is that, his girlfriend has a high libido while his own libido is low so no matter how long or how many rounds the sex is, she is not gonna be satisfied as she would still demand for more even after 5rounds.

When My friend told me about this I thought it was joke until the day the lady said it to my face that if he(my friend) can’t satisfy her sexually that she would cheat and that was how my friend make another choice by dating another woman and told her first girlfriend that he is no longer interested. Before the breakup I told My friend to practice other methods such as foreplay and also giving her a head but still all these didn’t satisfy the lady as they had to go separate ways.

You will observe that Most marriage these days collapse and one of the major cause is extramarital sex which might be as a result of the inability of the spouse to satisfy his/her partner. Sexuality is one of the things to consider before saying “YES” to that marriage proposal. Are you satisfied with his/her sexual performance? Can you cope With that one minute man? Talking about sexuality in a relationship should not be seen as a sin Perhaps people tell all sorts of lies thus nobody is holy.

Some people will be like “When we marry I will change him/her” change my foot, if you can’t change him/her in a relationship Definitely it will be difficult to change him/her in marriage. Although some people are so covetous to the extent if you give him sex Morning and night he would still cheat, however, talking about sexuality can possibly prevent infidelity in the relationship/marriage in future like knowing both of your Capabilities.

People engage in extra marital sex due to different reasons in which sexuality might be one, In a situation whereby the woman is the type that has high libido and the man is with low libido Definitely the woman Might engage in Extramarital sex just to satisfy herself so pay attention to your relationship and see if both of you are compatible sexually.

What Should I do if I discover that me and my partner are not compatible sexually?

Don’t just pretend or assume that everything is fine, instead talk about it and reach a conclusion on how to fix sexuality in your relationship. However, if the conclusion still didn’t work it is advisable you go your separate ways. A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage.

ALSO READ: Five(5) Unique Tricks to Woo and Secure Your Woman in a Relationship

4. CULTURE/TRADITION/TRIBE.

I have seen a 5 Year relationship that didn’t later lead to marriage because of Tribalism. If your Boyfriend/girlfriend Is from another tribe I will advise you to try as much as possible to learn about Your partner culture and tradition and Always ask your partner if you will be accepted by their family and if he said yes, try to tell him/her to introduce you to his/her family so that you won’t waste your time building a relationship that wouldn’t work.

Tribalism has been a big challenge in Nigeria for relationships and marriage. There is nothing wrong in loving other people From different tribes and cultures, you just have to be tolerant and observant so as not to end up in a tribalistic relationship/marriage.

ALSO READ: 10 Inspiring Tips to Keep Your Relationship Away From sex

In conclusion, love is beautiful and powerful, love cares for everything and this is why sometimes people say love is blind but love is not blind, love sees but chooses to Ignore just the same way you can see clearly some of the aforementioned categories above as challenging in your relationship but chose to ignore. Don’t let your children suffer your ignorance. All these 4 Things mentioned above might not really matter at present but it does matter in future remember “LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH therefore if you notice any of these 4 things as challenging in your relationship, try to fix them.

I wish you best of luck. Kindly drop your comments. Thanks.

ALSO READ: 12TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP (Check out the category you belong)