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What to Do If Your Partner is Still Dating Their Ex Secretly

It can come as a disappointment to find out that your partner is secretly dating their ex behind your back. The fact is, after a breakup, many people still return to their exes, even after claiming to have moved on with someone else. Therefore, it is possible to discover that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you with their ex. So, what should you do if, in such a relationship when your partner is still secretly dating their ex? This is a step-by-step guide to approaching the situation without damaging the relationship, so everyone can be happy again.

What Should You Do If Your Partner Is Still Secretly Dating Their Ex?

1. Gather Evidence.

Accusing a partner without evidence is wrong, so make sure you have proof, as they could deny seeing their ex behind your back. Once you have evidence to support your claim, it will be easier to address the situation.

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2. Confront Your Partner with the Evidence.

Confront your partner and demand an explanation. Ask them questions, especially why they are still dating their ex despite your loyalty. Listen to them and hear what they have to say. Although there is no justification for secretly dating an ex while in a committed relationship, listening to their explanation can help you decide what action to take.

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3. Ask Them to End the Relationship with Their Ex.

When you catch your partner cheating with their ex, you may feel hurt and disappointed. If you still love them and want the relationship to continue, one important step is to ask them to end the relationship with their ex. Tell them to block their ex in your presence, and make sure you have proof that they have truly ended the relationship. Ask them to choose between you and their ex. If your partner shows reluctance to block their ex, this may be the right time to reconsider whether this relationship is right for you.

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4. Give Them Space.

Do not allow your emotions to cloud your judgment. At this moment, you may consider giving your partner space to reflect on their actions. Don’t rush into breaking up with them or accepting their apology too quickly. Also, be mindful of what you say out of anger to avoid making things more complicated. Give yourself time to reflect on the relationship.

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5. Forgive And Give Them a Chance to Prove Their Loyalty.

When someone returns to an ex, it could be because they were misled by their emotions without thinking about the consequences. If your partner has asked for a second chance and shows remorse, you may consider giving them a chance to prove their loyalty again. You can forgive them if they are willing to let go of their ex and be faithful to you. Forgiving a cheating partner can be difficult, but the decision to forgive is personal and one you must make on your own.

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6. Give It Time and Look For a Change In Behavior.

If your partner has cheated with their ex, and you have both discussed the issue and decided to continue the relationship, it is important to observe your partner’s behavior. Check occasionally to ensure their ex remains blocked. Apart from an apology, what matters is a genuine change in behavior. If your partner values you, they will block their ex and stay loyal to you. Give them a chance to prove themselves again.

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7. Ask About Their Relationship With Their Ex Before Dating Them.

After a breakup, some couples reconcile due to lingering feelings, which may be why some people give their exes a second chance despite being in a new relationship. To avoid such situations, ask your new partner about their relationship with their ex. Ask about what ended the relationship and when it ended. You should also ask if they still have feelings for their ex. These questions can give you insight into what challenges to expect in the future and whether your partner is still interested in their ex. Discussing an ex-lover during the early stages of a relationship is crucial to preventing your partner from returning to their ex.

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8. Set Clear Boundaries.

Relationships are built on mutual understanding, so it’s important to set clear boundaries. Make it a rule that you don’t tolerate communication with ex-partners. For example, “No talking to exes; all exes must be blocked, and their numbers deleted.” It’s up to them to agree or disagree with these terms.

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9. Be Patient With Them.

I understand how painful it can be to discover that your partner is still secretly dating their ex, but you need to approach the situation with patience and wisdom. Don’t be too quick to end the relationship if you still love them. Be patient, provided they are willing to cooperate with you in fixing the situation they created.

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Can I Forgive A Partner Who Cheated On Me With Their Ex?

Well, that depends on you. If you still love them and want the relationship to continue, you can forgive them and give them another chance to prove themselves. However, this forgiveness should come with the condition that they must end the relationship with their ex and show you proof that it’s over. Unless you see signs that they are ready to let go of their ex, do not take the relationship seriously to avoid being used and hurt again.

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Should I Just Move On With My Life?

If your partner is unwilling to end the relationship with their ex, you should consider ending the relationship and moving on with your life. If you have communicated your concerns and they still refuse to let go of their ex, it’s time to leave and move on.

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