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What to Do if Your Boyfriend Is Asking You to Get Pregnant Before Marriage

It is uncommon to have a boyfriend who asks you to get pregnant for him before marriage or keeps pressuring you to get pregnant, possibly because he is eager to have a child. This situation can cause confusion but remain calm because there is a solution. This article highlights the reasons why your boyfriend might be asking you to get pregnant and what you can do to manage the situation.

How to Handle a Boyfriend Asking You to Get Pregnant Before Marriage:

1. Talk About Marriage.

One way to avoid issues like this is to discuss marriage and future plans early in the relationship, especially within the first year. This will help you determine whether your interests align. Sometimes, you should directly ask your boyfriend, “What do you think about getting pregnant before marriage?” His response will give you insight into his perspective on pregnancy out of wedlock. Clearly stating your intentions early can prevent him from pressuring you to get pregnant before marriage in the future.

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2. Communicate with Him.

First, ask him why he wants you to get pregnant before marriage. His response will help you know how to reply without escalating the issue. If you believe that getting pregnant before marriage is risky for your future, it is best to tell him politely that you cannot agree to it.

For example, you could say, “I understand your opinion, but I have promised my parents that I will not get pregnant out of wedlock. If you truly love me, please respect my decision.” Discuss your concerns with him and help him see things from your perspective. Make him understand that you cannot agree to get pregnant outside of marriage.

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3. Tell Him to Meet Your Parents for an Introduction and Bride Price.

No matter how much you love a man, never devalue yourself by getting pregnant out of wedlock. If he wants to enjoy the benefits of marriage, then he should commit to it. Tell him to meet your parents and formally ask for your hand in marriage. You could say, “If you are serious about having a child with me, then come meet my parents for an introduction and pay my bride price. I will be excited to carry your baby once this is done.”

If a man is serious about you getting pregnant, he will do the necessary things without needing to be compelled. By now, he should have met your parents, and perhaps arrangements for a traditional wedding, engagement, or introduction would be underway. Do not just believe a man who promises to marry you after you get pregnant, especially if he has yet to meet any of your family members.

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4. Explain That Getting Pregnant Outside of Marriage Is Against Your Family Tradition.

Let him know that getting pregnant out of wedlock is against your culture, religion, and family traditions. If you go against these, your parents and family could cause significant frustration, which you want to avoid.

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5. Go for a Fertility Test.

Sometimes when a man asks you to get pregnant before marriage, it could be because he wants to be sure that you both can conceive. If he is concerned about potential fertility issues, suggest that you both go for a fertility test at a reputable hospital. Medical results can provide assurance that your reproductive health is normal.

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6. Involve Your Family.

If both families know each other and approve of your relationship, you may seek their opinions on the matter. For instance, talk to your partner’s parents about his request for you to get pregnant before marriage. You could explain that your parents do not support it and would appreciate it if they could talk to your boyfriend to help him understand your position.

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7. Encourage Him to Give You Time.

If your boyfriend is eager to start a family and is pressuring you to get pregnant before marriage, you can ask him to give you more time. Show him your plans and ask him to be patient while you consider the situation.

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8. Maintain Your Stand.

It is crucial to maintain your position if getting pregnant before marriage does not align with your beliefs. Make your intentions clear: you will not get pregnant unless he fulfills the necessary formalities.

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Why Shouldn’t You Get Pregnant Before Marriage

To Avoid Being Used and Dumped: Getting pregnant before marriage does not guarantee that he will marry you; some men might use this to tie you down, especially if he has not formally met your parents. You should not bow to his demand to get pregnant before marriage. Remember, you are not legally married, so he could still leave you for someone else.

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Can I Get Pregnant If We’ve Done the Introduction?

An introduction is not a marriage; you should only consider getting pregnant after your bride price has been paid or if both sets of parents have formally approved the union. In the absence of that, it is advisable not to get pregnant until you are sure this man is committed to staying in your life permanently.

Why Does My Boyfriend Want Me to Get Pregnant?

1. He’s Aging.

When a man feels he is getting older and time is running out, he might ask you to get pregnant before marriage. If this is the case, encourage him to focus on building a stable life first rather than rushing into parenthood. For example, you could say, “Let’s focus on building our lives for now. When we are financially stable enough to raise a child, I will consider getting pregnant, but for now, I would appreciate it if we could focus on our future together.”

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2. Comparison.

Your boyfriend might want you to get pregnant because his friends’ girlfriends got pregnant before marriage, and he wants to follow the same path. If this is the case, educate him about the dangers of comparing his life to that of others. Explain to him, “Just because it worked for your friends does not mean it will work for us too.”

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3. He Wants to Be Sure Your Womb Is Fertile.

Some couples face challenges conceiving after marriage, which might be why your boyfriend wants you to get pregnant before marriage—to ensure fertility. If this is the case, suggest visiting the hospital together for a fertility test, as this can provide medical reassurance.

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4. He’s Eager to Have a Baby.

Some men love the idea of being called “daddy.” If your boyfriend is eager to become a father, he might pressure you to get pregnant. In this case, ask him to be patient and take things slowly. Explain that it is not just about having a child quickly but about giving the child a good life, which can be achieved through patience and doing things at the right time.

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