RELATIONSHIP

10 Questions to Ask Your Ex Before Accepting Their Return to Your Life

Are you considering accepting an ex back into your life? This decision must be tough because they broke your heart the first time, left you shattered, and now they are begging for another chance. I hope they won’t finish me off completely this time around? Will this relationship ever work again?

Well, if your ex has reached out to you to continue your love journey, or if you want to go back to your ex, you should ask yourself these 10 questions. Unless you have the right answers to these questions, please never accept them back into your life.

1. Why Are You Back?

The relationship has ended, and it is possible that you have both moved on or are already moving on. So, you need to ask them why they are back and why they deserve another chance.

A simple, “Why are you back?” or “Why do you think I should give you another chance?” will go a long way. Asking these questions is very important to know if they have truly realized their mistakes and are ready to make things work this time around. Listen to their response; maybe they are genuine. If they can’t give you a sensible answer to these questions, it’s best to let them remain a chapter in your history book.

2. What Ended Our Relationship?

If you were not sure what actually ended the relationship in the first place or why they left, ask them, “What ended our relationship?” Their response is vital to knowing if they’re truly remorseful for breaking your heart. Discuss what ended the relationship; if they take responsibility for their actions, good. But if your ex keeps shifting blame onto you or trying to avoid the topic, it’s best to let them remain in your past rather than accept them back.

3. What Has Changed Now?

Now that they want you back, you should ask them what has changed. They left for a reason in the first place, so by now, they must have learned their lesson. Ask them what really changed. For example, if your ex was a serial cheater, they should now be able to prove to you that they have changed, offering you reassurance and commitment. If your ex shows signs that they have truly changed and are willing to cooperate with you this time, you may consider accepting them back into your life.

Sometimes, people make decisions that they later regret. Maybe your ex regrets breaking up with you and now wants to make it up to you.

For instance, if you broke up with them because they refused to introduce you to their family and friends after dating for years, you should now ask them if they have changed their mind and are ready to introduce you to their family. It is important to address the issues that led to the breakup. After asking what has changed in them, you should talk about what led to the breakup and fix it. If the issue isn’t fixable, then it’s better to let it remain in your past and move on.

4. Have They Moved on With Someone Else?

Before you accept an ex-partner back into your life, you should investigate if they have moved on with someone else to avoid being fooled. Sometimes, when an ex reaches out to you for another chance, it’s not because they actually want you; it could be because they just miss you and nothing more.

Therefore, you should never accept your ex back if either of you has moved on with someone else. Ask them if they have tried another relationship, and make sure you find out if they are sincere to avoid being used and dumped a second time. If you are already in another relationship, then you should never accept them back; let them remain in your past. Moreover, if the breakup is over a year old and you are doing well already, you should let them remain in your past.

5. Do You Still Love Them?

You should be honest with yourself when answering this question. Do you still love your ex? If you are to rate your love for them within the range of 0-100, does your love for them still fall above 50? If yes, you may accept them back if you are still interested.

After a breakup, most people lose the feelings and vibes of the relationship. You need to be sure if you still love them as much as they love you because without love, this relationship won’t work, no matter how hard you try. If the love is still there, you may give them another chance, but only if you are still interested in dating them, because love alone isn’t enough.

6. Can You Forgive Them?

Can you forgive them without using their past mistakes against them? Can you forgive and forget the pain they caused you? If not, then you should let them go, as there is no need to accept them back. Although it is not easy to forgive someone who has hurt you, you have to if you want to accept them back into your life. You should leave the past in the past, focus on the present, join hands together, and move your relationship forward.

7. How’s Their Consistency?

When your ex reaches out to you for another chance, pay attention to their consistency to know if they are truly serious about wanting you back in their life. Do they still call you every day? Do they chat with you often and communicate with you like normal couples do? Do you notice any positive changes in their behavior? If the answers to these questions are yes, then it may be worth accepting them back.

Make sure you pay close attention to their consistency. If they’re serious, you will know, and if they just want to fool you into sleeping with them again, you will know through their actions and behavior. So don’t just listen to their promises and words; look for a change in behavior.

8. Are You Ready to Make Things Work?

It is not just acceptance that matters, but your ability to join hands and make things work. If both of you are ready to leave past mistakes behind and navigate into another chapter of your lives, you can achieve a healthy relationship.

However, if either of you isn’t willing to cooperate, it’s best to go your separate ways because a relationship where you are the only one making the effort is never going to work. Ask yourself and your ex if they are ready to make things work this time. Let them know that you can’t afford to build a relationship without a destination this time.

9. Make a Decision.

At this point, you and your ex must have discussed a lot, and you should have asked all the necessary questions and investigated whether they were truly sincere with you. If you still love them and are interested in the relationship, you have to make a personal decision about whether to accept them back or not. You have seen the good and bad aspects of them; this is enough to make a decision.

10. Join Hands Together and Move Forward.

If you have thought about it and decided to give them another chance, try to forgive them and let the past be the past. Join hands together and build a healthy relationship. You need to understand that nobody is perfect, and perhaps your partner has realized their mistakes by now.

Start afresh, go on dates, spend time together, involve yourselves in activities you both enjoy, and show love to one another. Be there for each other, build trust, be sincere and open with one another, and also forgive each other because a healthy relationship requires a lot of forgiveness. If you can do this without grumbling, achieving a healthy relationship that could lead to marriage is possible.

Never Accept Them Back If:

Never accept your ex back if you are already in a relationship with a new partner.
Never accept your ex back if you realize they’re dating someone new. No matter how much you love them, never accept them back. They might mess up your life again and destroy your chances of building a healthy relationship with someone new.
Never accept them back if nothing has changed in their behavior.
Never accept them back if they are not ready to address the issues that led to the breakup in the first place. You must fix the issue before considering another chance.
Never accept them back if you are no longer interested in them. If you have lost your feelings for them, let them go. Reviving lost feelings can be tedious, and it can cause frustration in the relationship if you still go ahead.
Never accept your ex back if you have been apart for a long period of time, for instance, a year or more. It is difficult to trust someone you have not seen for a long time, and there is a possibility that they have already moved on without you.

Give it Time.

The truth is, your relationship might never be the same again due to the initial breakup. This may seem strange to you, but don’t worry. It takes time to fix a broken relationship. Give it time, invest in spending quality time together, and establish effective communication.