RELATIONSHIP

What to Do If Your Boyfriend Keeps a Lot of Close female Friends (bestie)

What to Do When Your Boyfriend has a Female Bestie:

Being in a relationship shouldn’t stop us from building a cycle of unique friends, but what if your guy happens to be the type of man who keeps a lot of female friends and besties? How does one handle such a man without destroying the relationship? This article highlights the necessary steps to take in handling a boyfriend who keeps a bestie and tons of female friends.

Actually, no matter how mature you claim to be, seeing your boyfriend flirt with friends of the opposite sex can drive you crazy and make you insecure, perhaps if you are the jealous type. Here are some tips to overcome this challenge:

What to Do When Your Boyfriend has a Female Bestie:

1. Define Your Goals in the Early Stages of Your Relationship.

Before you go on a date with a man, you should state your dislikes and likes at the talking stage to prevent situations like this. Let them know you are the jealous type and don’t like your man keeping too many female friends as besties.

Statements like “I don’t have problems with you making friends, but I personally dislike it when my boyfriend keeps close friends with the opposite sex or bestie” tell him right away that you do not appreciate your man keeping too many females as close friends. This can prevent your man from crossing his boundary, knowing fully well that you don’t tolerate such behavior.

2. Communicate Your Feelings.

It is possible that your boyfriend does not understand how it burns your heart to see him and his bestie talk in your presence and display affection in your presence. Call his attention to his total disregard for your feelings. Tell him to treat you with respect and respect your feelings.

Communicate how hurtful it feels to see him and his female besties flirting together. Make him aware that you do not tolerate such behavior.

This can be achieved by having an open conversation with your boyfriend. Find common ground when he is in a good mood, and open up to him about your concerns. Communication is one of the first steps to take when dealing with men who have a lot of female friends.

3. Tell him to Create Boundaries.

Boundaries are important in relationships. Implore your boyfriend to set boundaries between his female bestie and the relationship. Your boyfriend can have friends, but there has to be a limit to everything. For instance, picking up their call in your presence, showing affection, giving them more attention and communication than they give you, and visiting them in private places without your consent.

You could tell your boyfriend to give his bestie or close female friends space if he truly values you and the relationship. Giving his bestie space will create room for peace and respect in the relationship.

4. Report Him to Family and Friends.

If your boyfriend is not listening to you, you should talk to his friends or report his nonchalant behavior to his family members who will talk to him on your behalf and hope he changes. If he doesn’t listen to you, then there have to be some other people in his life that he respects; identify them and talk to them.

However, before you involve third parties in your relationship, try to communicate your feelings with your man first in a language you think he understands the most.

5. Listen to Your Boyfriend.

After confronting your boyfriend about him keeping intimate friends with the opposite sex, allow them to express themselves too. Actually, it might not be what you think. So whenever you communicate your feelings with your man, listen to whatever he has to say and try to reach a conclusion together. If your boyfriend is sincere with you, he may apologize to you and promise you change. If that happens, you should listen to him.

6. Trust Your Boyfriend.

Trust is a vital component of a relationship. If your boyfriend insists that nothing is happening between them, try to trust him. Understand that some guys are jovial by nature and free with everyone. Your boyfriend could be a jovial person. Those ladies might be his mere friends and nothing more. If you could trust him, your insecurities and jealousy would reduce, and there would be peace in the relationship.

7. Tell Him to Choose Between You and His Female Bestie.

If you want to know how valuable you are to a man and the position where you belong in his life, tell him to choose between you and his female bestie and see his reaction. How he reacts and handles the situation will determine where you belong in his life.

If he acts like he doesn’t care about your feelings or what you think, then you should know he is not ready to change his lifestyle anytime soon, which may not go well for the relationship. Remember, it is not a must for him to choose at that moment, but a man who is afraid of losing you will give you reassurance.

8. Give Him Time to Change.

Do not expect a man who keeps a lot of female besties as friends to cut off all his chicks at once. Change doesn’t happen overnight; it is a gradual process. After communicating your concerns, give him time and see if he will reduce his lifestyle of keeping lots of female friends. A responsible boyfriend will promise you a change and will keep his promise by making adjustments.

9. Lead by Example.

If you don’t want your boyfriend to keep female friends or besties, you should lead by example by making sure you do not keep male friends either for him to see your seriousness.

10. Keep Fake Male Friends.

If by now your boyfriend is not backing down on keeping a lot of female friends as besties, you can keep some male guys as friends and see how he would react. For example, you may pretend to receive a call from a male friend in his presence or act like you are chatting with a male friend and see his reaction.

If he reacted badly, remind him of how exactly you feel seeing him flirt with his female friends. Sometimes, you have to treat them the exact way they treat you for them to understand how it feels. This approach could work, but make sure to apply wisdom.

Why Does My Boyfriend Have a Lot of Female Friends?

There are several reasons why a man will keep a lot of female friends, which include:

1. Being Jovial.

Some guys are naturally jovial and lovely to be with, so those ladies enjoy his company, and that could be the reason perhaps some guys prefer to have a female friend than a male friend.

2. For Benefits.

The actual reason why some guys keep a lot of female friends is for benefit purposes. Should their girlfriend be unavailable, the female friends may perform the role of an acting girlfriend, which includes sexual intimacy and romance.

4. The Guy is Unhappy in the Relationship.

If your boyfriend isn’t used to keeping a lot of female friends but suddenly begins to keep a bestie and flirt with them, this may be a sign that your boyfriend is unhappy in the relationship, so you should sit him down and ask what is going on and fix things together.

When a man is unhappy in his relationship, he turns to other girls to make himself happy and make you feel jealous. This approach may compel you to dance to their tune if they have been asking you to make adjustments about something but you have refused.

5. He’s Famous and Influential.

Influential and wealthy people often have a lot of female friends and besties because almost everyone wants to associate with them based on their money and influence.

I don’t know my boyfriend’s intentions for having too many female friends and besties.

You are likely wondering whether your boyfriend is still happy in your relationship or whether he is secretly trying to woo someone else. I can give a few cues for testing this:

Is he spending more time with them than with you? If yes, that is a bad sign, since you are supposed to be his best female friend.
Does he inform you about when and where he goes and with whom? If yes, that is a good sign. If he wants to cheat, he’d preferably keep the meetings secret, and he will be evasive when you ask him where he went.
How is the communication? If you live apart, do you talk daily on the phone to catch up on each other’s days, and does he initiate most of the conversations?
Do you know his female friends? How long have they been his friends?
Are they in a happy relationship themselves?
Remember, cheating requires consent from both sides. If his female friend is someone he’s known for a long time and is in a happy relationship with, it’s unlikely that something is going on.
Does he still love you? Is he enjoying being around you, sometimes buying you gifts, remembering important dates, and discussing future plans for the relationship with you? If a man is not interested in extending a relationship, he wouldn’t be discussing future plans with you.
If applicable, is he enjoying sex with you? At least in his late teens and twenties, he should have the desire to get physical with you. He can show this by randomly touching or kissing you and playfully luring you into bed. This may depend on the relationship, but if he is not showing any form of physical affection whatsoever, then that is bad.
Apart from that, a man having female friends is actually beneficial, since even if there is nothing going on, they may enjoy his company, and this could be a sign that he is a good guy who gets along well with women. I would also suggest that you find some male friends yourself in order to get some experience with what that is like. If they’re single, just make sure not to send any mixed signals that may lead them to think you would fit.

Is It Okay If Your Boyfriend Has Female Friends?

Absolutely yes. There is nothing weird about having female friends, but what is actually wrong is “keeping a lot of female friends” and placing your female friends above your girlfriend. Moreso, it is wrong to maintain close contact or intimacy with a female bestie, this may hurt your relationship. A man must set boundaries in his relationship in order to create room for peace and happiness.

You can have female friends as long as there is space between you guys. Being in a relationship shouldn’t stop us from relating with other people, but always remember to know your limits. If your girlfriend says she doesn’t want you to keep lots of female friends, respect her decision and act accordingly.