Sex plays an important role in relationships, and it can be so annoying to have a girlfriend who is stingy with kpekus (sex). No matter what you do to convince her, she will never open her legs for you. If you are in this situation where it looks like your girlfriend is depriving you of sex, keep reading as you find out what to do.
There are two different types of girls who do this: the first one will allow you to touch her body, kiss, romance, and other parts but will never allow you to penetrate, while the other one is very strict; they will never allow you to kiss them, hug them, or touch them, and this experience can be daunting for anyone in a relationship.
Why Is My Girlfriend Refusing Sex?
In order for you to know what to do when your girlfriend is refusing sex with you, there are certain things that may cause that, and some of them include:
1. Her Past Experiences with Men.
She has witnessed so many heartbreaks in her life, and now she seems not to trust any man again. Almost every man she had dated dumped her after sleeping with her, and now she doesn’t want to repeat that mistake again, which is why she’s taking her time.
If you suspect this to be the reason why your girlfriend is denying you sex, don’t pressure her; instead, you should show her that you are different from other men out there and her exes. Show her love, be there for her, communicate with her frequently, and try to do what she asks for within your capacity. If she sees that your love for her is pure, she will change her mind and thoughts towards you and start doing as you wish.
2. Fear of Being Used and Dumped.
Girls have sex because of love, but most men have sex because they want the sex. This could be the reason why your girlfriend is depriving you of sex; she is afraid you will dump her after getting what you want.
If this is the reason why you think your girlfriend is denying you sex every time, do not break up with her because of that; instead, give her time and keep putting effort into the relationship. She may be convinced to change her mind someday.
3. Consequences of Sex.
Your girlfriend is afraid of the consequences of sex, which may be infections, HIV, pregnancy, etc.
If this was her reason for refusing sex with you, educate her that there are ways to practice safe sex to avoid infections and pregnancy. Perhaps using condoms can help prevent that.
4. She’s A Virgin.
Virgins are always scared of having sex because they don’t have the experience. Most of them think that they will get pregnant if they do it, while others are afraid of the pain of getting deflowered. If your girlfriend is still a virgin, this could be the reason why she is denying you sex.
As a man, convince her that you will take it gently when doing it so she won’t feel the pain, and promise her that she won’t get pregnant and should in case pregnancy occurs, that you will take responsibility. If she sees that you are serious, she may give you what you want.
READ MORE: 20 Ways How to Make Your Girlfriend Happy
5. Is the Relationship Worth It?
You can’t just expect a woman who knows her worth to open her legs for you in a relationship that is barely 24 hours old.
She’s probably taking her time to figure out if you are the kind of man she wants or if your love is real or fake. She wants to be sure first before allowing the sexual part of the relationship to happen.
If you suspect this to be the reason why your girlfriend is denying you sex, just be yourself and don’t pretend to be what you are not because of sex.
6. Her Faith or Belief.
Maybe your girlfriend is a religious woman, and premarital sex is against her beliefs or faith. It will be so difficult to convince her to change her mind.
READ MORE: How to Ask for Sex from Your Spouse
7. Low Sexual Drive.
Some women are not interested in sex or dislike sex due to their low sexual drive. If your girlfriend has been complaining to you about her having a low libido as the reason for refusing sex, you can encourage her to eat fruits and vegetables to boost her sexual drive.
What Should I Do If My Girlfriend Denies Me Sex?
It can be daunting when your girlfriend, whom you love so much, keeps denying you sex, or you have been dating for a while now and she suddenly stops giving you sex in the relationship. Well, these are simple things to do if your girlfriend is depriving you of sex.
1. Identify the Reasons Behind Her Actions.
She must have a reason why she is depriving you of sex; identify it, as this will enable you to know what to do. As I’ve explained earlier, some of the points listed above could be the reason why she’s denying you sex every time you ask for it. Perhaps you should ask why she is doing this to you.
For example, you could say, “Babe, why are you denying me sex every time I ask you? I don’t deserve all this ill treatment from you, or is it that you don’t love me or trust me?” Listen to her excuses and see if they are genuine, as that can be helpful in knowing what action to take next.
2. Make Her Feel Loved and Cared For.
Make her feel loved and cared for and show lots of love to her. If you want sex from a woman, you have to make her happy and excited so that the sex will happen naturally without you needing to force it.
3. Build Trust in The Relationship.
Sex is not something you can force, especially if a woman is refusing to do it with you. You need to build trust in the relationship and make her feel like you are someone she can rely on. Be sincere and honest with her; don’t cheat on her. When she sees that you are an honest man, she may be convinced to change her mind about you.
READ MORE: 20 Simple Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Happy
4. Give Her Time.
If you truly love that woman, just give her time. At times, girls need time to figure things out themselves. They need to see if you truly love them, so at this time, make her feel relaxed and give her the needed time to change her mind. If possible, ask her when she will be ready to give you this thing that she has been denying you all these years. Luckily, she may give you a specific time, and if you can wait till then, good for you.
5. Threaten to Break Up with Her.
If your girlfriend has been depriving you of sex every time after trying all the steps above and doing your best, threaten to break up with her and see her reaction. Normally, if she values you as her man, she may be convinced to give you what you want, because I’m very sure she wouldn’t want to lose you to other women if you were a good and responsible man yourself.
6. Get It Elsewhere.
You can seek her permission to get it elsewhere; if your girlfriend gives you the “go ahead” to get it elsewhere, that means she doesn’t care about your feelings, and if you can’t hold it any longer, you can get it elsewhere by finding another woman who is ready to give you what you want. Remember, this isn’t your fault; you did what you had to do, but your girlfriend wasn’t ready to play her part, and besides, you can’t force her. So it’s better you get it elsewhere than sex-starved.
7. Discontinue the Relationship.
If, after trying all the steps listed above, your girlfriend still continues to deprive you of sex, you can just discontinue with the relationship and date someone whose doctrines align with yours.
Cheating on your partner can make things more complicated, so it would be a nice idea if you could re-evaluate if this relationship is best for you and move on with your life.
Can A Woman Love You and Still Deny You Sex?
Yes, a woman can love you with all her heart and still deny you sex. She may decide to deny you sex to keep you because she’s afraid you will leave after getting what you want, which is common among men. Nevertheless, women have sex because they love you, so if she truly loves you as claimed and sees you as the man of her dreams, why not? She will consider your feelings and give the sex part a try.