Have you promised yourself not to engage in a sexual relationship with any man or woman until marriage, or have you been in a relationship that involves sex but now you have changed your mind and want to rebuild your life, and you don’t want any sexual intercourse anymore between you and your partner?
Some people have set a determination for themselves that only their future husband or wife will see their nakedness, and they don’t want to get themselves involved in any sexual relationship. If you are among this category of people who are advocates of “No sex until marriage,” then this article is for you, as you will learn how to refuse sex before marriage and what to do if you don’t want to have it until marriage.
How to Refuse Sex Before Marriage?
1. Why Don’t You Want Sex Before Marriage?
Before you refuse sex before marriage, you must have a genuine reason for that and be able to convince your spouse to respect your decision. Some of the reasons why a woman will refuse sex until marriage are to avoid being used and dumped, to prevent unwanted pregnancy, maybe to serve God or live a holy life, and many other reasons. So the first thing to do is to understand the reasons why you don’t want sex for now. If you believe your reasons are genuine, then stick to it.
2. Date Someone Who Shares the Same Interests as You.
If you don’t want sex before marriage to occur in your relationship, you need to date someone who shares the same goal and objective as you to avoid the pressure to have sex from your partner. Do not date someone who is sexually active; they will cheat on you and blame you for their misbehavior.
If the reason you are refusing sex before marriage is because you want to serve God, then you should date someone who loves to serve God too. If your reason is because you are afraid of being used and dumped, date someone who understands your motives. Dating a man or woman who shares the same goal as you will foster trust and understanding and may prevent sexual frustration in the relationship.
3. Make Your Intentions Clear.
There is no need to beat around the bush; if your reasons for refusing sex before marriage are best known to you, tell them before the relationship starts. Tell him that there won’t be sex until marriage, or make them aware that “sex before marriage” is against your beliefs, culture, and tradition. Whatever your reasons for abstinence, make your intentions clear: if he or she loves you, they will wait. Perhaps waiting is a sign of true love.
4. Tell Your Partner About Your Decision.
If your relationship has already been involved in sexual activity and now you want to rebuild your life or re-evaluate things, make your intentions known to your partner by discussing them directly with him/her.
For example, if you receive a prophecy or revelation to stay away from sexual activity, discuss it with your partner. If possible, tell him or her to give you time to sort things out. If your partner cares about you, I believe they will listen and cooperate with you.
5. Give Them a Specific Time.
Relationships are about “us” and “we” not “me,” which means you have to put your partner into consideration too. Not everyone can wait for a long time without sex. It will be a great idea to tell your partner when exactly you may be ready to engage in sexual activity. You can tell them that you will be ready for that after you graduate from school or in the next 2-3 years or more.
I’ve once been in a relationship whereby my partner told me that we wouldn’t have sex until the relationship lasted 2 years, and I agreed because I loved her. Telling your partner when exactly you will be ready for intimacy can give them hope and may stop them from breaking up with you because of sex.
6. Avoid Temptation.
If you don’t want to have sex until marriage, then you must avoid any temptation that will make it difficult for you. At times you will get horny and feel like doing it; this is normal, and to resist the temptation, you should focus on other things that will distract you and keep you busy, such as watching movies, doing exercise, playing games, or learning additional skills and trying new hobbies.
Avoid temptations like pornography, masturbation, passing the night in your spouse’s apartment, mingling with bad friends who may corrupt your good manners, etc.
It’s not going to be easy to refuse sex before marriage because the world is changing every day and only a few people can wait and believe in you nowadays. So you should always pray to God to guide you on the right path and pray for him to direct your dream man or woman who is right for you to you.
Can A Relationship Work Without Sex Until Marriage?
Yes, a relationship can work without involving sex, and that’s if you’re with the right person who shares the same goals and morals as you. If you are in a relationship with a man or woman whose interests and goals align with yours, it will be very easy for you to build a healthy relationship without sex.
Find a man or woman who also has the same goal as you—that you will both refuse sex until marriage. However, it is important to note that sex plays a significant role in relationships, so it may be challenging for you to get a man or woman who will wait till you get married before having a taste.
READ MORE: 20 Simple Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Happy
What Is The Advantage Of Not Having Sex Until Marriage?
Abstaining from sex until marriage has many benefits, such as protecting you from unwanted pregnancies that can ruin your career. Many students had to drop out of school because of unwanted pregnancy. Moreso, not having sex until marriage can protect you from HIV/AIDS and infections that can be contracted during sexual intercourse.
As a woman, abstaining from sex until marriage can send away bad boys whose intentions are only for sex, and only the serious ones will stay and be with you. By the way, another advantage of not having sex until marriage is that it helps to build a strong relationship and mutual feelings without sexual intimacy. If you removed sex from some people’s relationships, you would have nothing left.
Is It Possible To Abstain From Sex Until Marriage?
Yes, it is possible, but you must be emotionally strong to achieve this because it is not easy at all. Most especially for women, men may insist that they must have sex with you, and this alone can be a frustrating experience. Talk to your partner and give them a genuine reason why you chose celibacy; luckily, they might listen to you and join hands with you in making the relationship work.
What If My Partner Is Not Ready To Listen To Me?
You need to consider the pros and cons of sex before marriage, and one of the main disadvantages is heartbreak. Your partner may decide to break up with you if you cut off the sex part. So if you think your reasons for abstinence outweigh other things in the relationship and your partner is not ready to listen to you, you can just end the relationship and find someone who has the same beliefs and goals as you.