RELATIONSHIP

What to do When your Parents Disapprove of your Relationship or are Against you getting Married to your Spouse

Nothing is as confusing as being in a relationship with someone who means everything to you and has all the qualities you have been longing for, but your parents insist you can’t get married to them. This kind of experience may come as a disappointment and surprise to you, but there are better ways to fix it and be happy again.

Has your parents disapproved of your relationship or marriage? In this article, we will discuss the necessary steps to take if your parents or family are against you getting married to your lover.

Why Do Your Parents Reject Your Relationship?

There are several reasons why parents and family might not like your partner, and some of the reasons may include:

1. Religion Differences.

Some families value religion over other qualities. So if your partner is of the opposite religion, it’s going to take a lot of effort and work to convince them to accept who you want to marry.

2. Tribal Differences.

Some families love to marry within their domain of tribes to prevent their culture from going into extinction. For instance, if your partner is from another state, tribe, or country, your parents might disapprove of the relationship and may go against you getting married. This is because they can’t guarantee your safety if you get married to another tribe that is strange to theirs.

ALSO READ: How to Manage Religion Differences in Relationship

3. Prophecy.

Some parents are spiritually motivated, so before they approve your relationship for marriage, they will seek spiritual counseling and pray about it. Should they receive a prophecy that your future with your partner is in danger, they might dissuade the relationship from going further.

ALSO READ: 16 Ways How to Start a Conversation with a Boyfriend or Girlfriend & Make Your Relationship Interesting

4. They Might Be Concerned About Your Safety and Well-Being.

Parents have been there before, so they understand some things that are hidden to you. Your parents might think your partner will not be able to take good care of you, and they may be afraid of your well-being, especially when your spouse isn’t financially strong.

ALSO READ: How do I Tell my Parents that I’m pregnant or Have Impregnated Someone?

5. Bad Behavior.

Maybe they have noticed certain behaviors or red flags in your partner that make them dislike him or her and therefore think getting married to them will be a terrible mistake.

6. Selfishness.

Some parents are so selfish that they only care about their happiness over yours and thus may impose whoever they like over you without considering whether you like them or not.

What to Do When Your Parents Disapprove of Your Relationship or Marriage:

1. Open And Honest Conversation.

Have you introduced your partner to your parents and they said, “No way” there? Calm down. The first thing you have to do is study when your parents are in a good mood and talk to them. You should ask them why they’re not in support of your relationship and calmly and respectfully listen to their objections.

The reason for their disapproval may be a minor misunderstanding. You know your parents haven’t had a chance to get to know your partner better. So, if you can get to the root of the problem, you may be able to convince your parents and reassure them that your partner will make them proud.

2. Convince Your Parents.

After listening to your parents’ objections, if you still think their reasons for disapproving of your relationship and marriage are not genuine, you should convince them otherwise that your partner will make a good spouse and make them proud.

Talk to them about the qualities you see in him or her and the future you have planned together. Also remind them of how your past relationships used to fail until you met this person. Let them know how miserable your life might be if you marry someone against your will.

3. Which of Your Parents is on Your Side?

Sometimes it could be your dad who is against your relationship; it could be your mom or both. However, if it’s one of your parents who is against your relationship, you should find time to talk to the other, who will communicate on your behalf. For instance, if your dad rejected you getting married to your spouse, you should consult your mom. Kneel down, prostrate, and beg her to consider your happiness.

Explain to them again why they need to approve your choice. If one of your parents is on your side, it’s still better because your mom or dad can still talk to her husband or wife in a language that he or she understands, and they might approve your marriage to your partner thereafter if you apply wisdom.

4. Help Your Parents Get to Know Your Partner Better.

More time together might help your parents feel comfortable with your partner and see him or her as a good person. Invite them over to your family dinner or to family events like weddings, burials, or religious services. For example, if there is a religious service in your church where your parents attend, you can invite your spouse over to attend so your parents can get to know him or her better.

You may invite them to family ceremonies like naming, burial, or wedding. Your parents may start liking your spouse, and seeing the two of you together can convince them that your significant other will be supportive and someone to welcome with open hands into the family.

5. Talk To Elders in the Family.

Every family has an elder whom your parents respect the most. If possible, go along with your friends and other family members who are on your side and explain to them why your parents should approve your marriage.

They might be of help in convincing your parents to allow you to marry your significant other without any disapproval. You may also consult your pastor, imam, and other spiritual leaders if you are very certain that your significant other is who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

6. Seek Guidance And Counseling.

It is important for you and your partner to seek guidance and counseling from marriage counselors and people who have once been in your shoes, as their advice may be useful in making the right decision.

7. Pregnancy.

This approach isn’t always advisable, but maybe the best for stubborn parents. Tell your boyfriend to impregnate you and allow the pregnancy to reach 3–4 months before notifying your parents; they might have no other option than to support your marriage.

However, using this approach is delicate, as you may face a lot of frustration from your family or your partner’s family, but if you both love each other and are sure of the future together, maintain your stand, and you will both smile in the end. Sometimes, you just have to fight for your love.

8. Plan For the Future.

If your parents continue to disapprove of your relationship, discuss with your partner how you will handle this situation. Maybe to allow them to attend your family gatherings or visit your parents with you. However, please do not allow your spouse to distance you from your parents.

Plan your future together and talk about the boundaries and limits you both need to set in your relationship with your parents. Talk about how your marriage will be, whether you will have kids before the wedding, or whether you will start living as husband and wife pending your parents approval.

Let Go of the Relationship If Your Parents Are Against You Getting Married Because Of the Reasons Below:

1. Prophecy

If your parents say you can’t marry them because of a prophecy, it’s best that you listen to their advice and let go of the relationship. However, before you let go, try to go to other sources and confirm the revelation. If it’s all the same, try to listen to your parents and let go of the relationship.

2. Your partner isn’t welcome in the family.

These are the 6 Things to Expect when You Forgive a Cheating PartnerYou know you have to give up on your partner if everyone in the family is against your relationship. But if some of your family and relatives are in support of you, that’s good news, and if not, you should let go of the relationship and find someone else. Love alone isn’t enough, and family acceptance is very important in marriage. Let go of the relationship if you are not welcomed in your spouse’s family.

3. Threat to life.

You should give up on the relationship if it has gotten to the stage where your life is being threatened by the family. For instance, if they use police to arrest you for dating their daughter or if you have received several warnings to stay away from them, at this junction, you should give up.

Ignore Your Parents Warning.

Do not allow your parents perspective on your fiance to destroy your relationship if you know that they’re the best for you. You can ignore their warnings if you value your own happiness over theirs.

Nevertheless, if you wish to go further and ignore their warnings, you shouldn’t expect family support in the future because if you reach out to your family for support, they will ignore you and remind you, “Didn’t I warn you?” So if you want to go ahead and choose them despite your parents disapproval, you and your fiance must be financially buoyant to carry your cross and responsibilities alone; otherwise, you may regret the decision to go against your parents disapproval.

Nevertheless you shouldn’t allow your parents’ disapproval to destroy the relationship you believe in. Remember, your happiness is paramount over your parents happiness, so you should go where you find peace, joy, love, and happiness. Also, make sure you handle your parents’ disapproval with patience and wisdom.