RELATIONSHIP

Things to Consider First before Dating a Single Mother: 12 Helpful Tips for Dating a Single Mom

Love is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to anyone, and once we fall in love, we feel on top of the world. What if your true love happens to be a single mother? Will the relationship ever work out and lead to marriage? Is it advisable to date a single mother?

Well, being a single mother shouldn’t be a barrier stopping us from loving them. In fact, single mothers are caring, mature, and have had life experience, which may contribute to the success of your relationship. Nevertheless, before dating a single mother, there are things to consider first in order for the relationship to make headway.

Whether you’re a single mom looking to get back out into the dating pool or someone who is trying to find the right way to ask out a single mom, these tips will make dating life easier on you and your kids.

12 Helpful Tips for Dating a Single Mom:

1. What Happened?

When you meet a woman who happens to be a single mom, before you date them or ask them out, you should ask them what happened to their previous relationship or marriage and why it didn’t work. This is very important when planning your future with her.

You need to be sure if the relationship with her ex-boyfriend or ex-husband is over to be on the safe side. If her stories of leaving her ex-husband or ex-boyfriend are genuine and true, then you may go ahead with the relationship.

2. How Old is the Child?

The age of the child is very important before embarking on the love journey. If the child is less than 4-5 years old, it’s best not to embark on the journey because the lady in question might just be healing from the traumatic experience with her ex-partner and thus may not be emotionally available to return the love you have to offer.

If you want to date a single mother, the child should be at least 5 years old, and you also need to make sure the relationship with her ex-partner has crashed a long time ago and not recently. If your girlfriend divorced her husband or broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks or months ago, please avoid dating her because she might be using you as a shield for her ex-partner, and she might eventually return there.

3. Does She Have Job or Skills That Contribute to the Table?

Financial responsibility is a vital component of every healthy relationship. At the talking stage, talk about your financial capabilities; perhaps ask her about what she does for a living, the skills she has, and other things that make her productive. Dating a single mother is an additional responsibility to your financial burdens, and this is why you have to make sure she won’t depend on you for all the responsibilities.

Some single mothers will expect you to foot their bills and those of their children, and this can be tough for guys who are still thriving financially.

In order to make sure the relationship goes well and fine, both of you should at least have a job, skills, and a side hustle that will be of support to the relationship financially. This way, one partner won’t be a burden on the other financially.

4. Patience is the Key.

If you want to date a single mother, you must cultivate the spirit of patience because sometimes she will have to contact her ex-partner, especially on issues regarding the child’s future and well-being. When this happens, it doesn’t mean that she wants to go back to the ex.

Single mothers always make their child’s needs a top priority. You have to be patient with her because she may give her child more attention, care, and love than she gives you. This doesn’t in any way mean that they do not love you; she just loves her child more than she loves you, which is normal for mothers. When you notice this sign, don’t get angry; be understanding; support her; and show her love. This way, the relationship will work, and you will both be happy.

5. Take it Slow When Dating a Single Mom.

In addition to No. 4 above, do not rush or assume she’s everything you want in a woman. Every relationship is always sweet in the beginning. Take your time to study her very well while building the relationship before walking down the aisle.

Also, it is very important that you don’t begin to take on roles that you won’t be able to maintain in the long run. Don’t do more than yourself to win her love. Don’t rush to move in together as couples; don’t rush to engage her. Give your relationship time and allow the feelings to develop gradually.

6. Her Child Is a Major Priority; Love Her Like That.

If you want to date a single mother, another thing you must consider is: Are you ready to love her and her child? Are you ready to see her child as yours? Although this may be difficult for you, it takes another level of maturity to date a single mom because her child is important to her like she is important to you.

For single parents, kids come first. Respect that close relationship and allow your girlfriend to sort things out in a way that makes them and their children feel comfortable.

7. Be Honest and Transparent.

What do you want with her? Are you looking for a hookup or a long-term relationship? Is marriage your priority? Do you see yourself co-raising a kid? Most single parents will be interested in knowing your intentions, the type of commitment you want from them, and the type of commitment you are willing to offer. It’s best to be honest with your intentions and specific with what you want when you start dating.

8. Don’t Promise What You Can’t Fulfill.

Love can shark you but do not make a promise that you won’t be able to fulfill or keep, especially on matters regarding her child. Do not promise her child anything you won’t be able to fulfill. Moreso, if you won’t marry her, if you don’t like her, if you don’t see yourself with her in the future, do not waste her time giving her false hope; let her know her fate.

9. Assist her Financially And Emotionally.

Single moms face lots of pressure to provide for their children financially and emotionally. Be a partner who can listen and be able to solve problems. Show empathy for her and offer emotional support when needed. Although her children are not your responsibility, as a partner, you can support her financially. Doing this will go a long way in offering support and encouragement that will be helpful in creating a stronger bond.

10. Be Responsible and Trustworthy.

She has been with someone in the past who shattered her heart and wasn’t trustworthy. She’s giving you a chance, try not to disappoint her. Be trustworthy and honest. Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship. Build trust in the relationship by keeping to your words, fulfilling your promises, and building commitment and loyalty. This will reinforce your partner’s feelings of trust toward you.

11. Be Understanding.

Single moms have many responsibilities that take up a lot of their time, ranging from working to taking care of their children, which makes it difficult for them to be available or keep up with dates.

She may not be able to give you her attention every time since her child is a top priority. She could cancel her plans to visit you or a date you have planned together at odd hours, perhaps if her child gets sick. In this situation, you have to be considerate and understand that your girlfriend may disappoint you sometimes.

12. Talk About Your Plans For the Relationship.

When dating a single mom, you should discuss how you are going to manage your relationship and the child together, as well as how you are both going to raise your kids together with her child. If her child will remain in her custody after marriage or will be with her ex-partner.

It is very important to discuss your plans for her, her child, the relationship, and marriage if eventually you get married to each other. This can make your partner want to share more and speak longer, and it may strengthen your relationship.

Is it advisable to date or marry a single mom as a young man?

Yes, it is. If you really love her and the relationship is healthy for you, why not? There is nothing bad about dating or marrying a single mother, provided both of you are willing to love each other and co-raise the kids. If you are ready to love her child and see her child as yours, then you are good to go, provided your intentions are pure and genuine.

However, if you are a broke man still battling with financial stability, dating a single mom is not advisable, as you may not be able to offer financial support for her and her child, and that experience can be frustrating. If you want to date a single mom, be financially capable and emotionally stable. Your maturity should be top-notch too.

Can a single mom find true love?

Finding love as a single mom can be challenging, but that doesn’t mean you won’t see a man who will love you together with your children. Everybody deserves to be loved, regardless.

A single mom can find true love, but make sure you do not hide your status. Let every man who asks you out for a relationship know from the onset that you have a child. A man who will love you will still love you, so never keep your child a secret if you truly want true love.

Also, work on self-development; look for things you can do to elevate your life to the next level. Learn additional skills, go to school, pursue your career, join volunteer groups, and be free with everyone. By doing this, true love will find you someday. Just be yourself.