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How to Deal with Insecurity in Relationships: 15 Ways
Being insecure in a relationship means you are uncertain about your relationship and afraid of losing your second half. Insecurity may be a result of too much jealousy, a lack of trust, and low self-esteem, making you feel anxious and afraid that you may lose your partner someday.
Being insecure comes with the belief that you are not just good for your partner or that they deserve someone better than you. You have this belief that they will leave you someday.
If not treated on time, insecurity can destroy your relationship. Are you being insecure in your relationship? Here are 15 tips to deal with insecurity in a relationship.
How to Deal with Insecurity in a Relationship:
1. Open And Honest Communication.
Communication is the master key to any relationship issues. Something must have triggered you to be insecure around your partner. Figure it out and discuss it with your partner.
Are you getting insecure seeing your partner with the opposite sex? Because they always appear busy when you need their attention? Or because they don’t respond to your calls and chats quickly? Maybe you thought someone might snatch him or her away from you someday? Do you know you can just communicate about your feelings with your partner, and they may offer reassurance for you that will make you feel better?
If you are feeling insecure in your relationship, the first thing to do is to identify the trigger and express your feelings to your significant other. This way, your partner will offer reassurance and give you some words that will come as a relief for you.
2. Build Trust.
Trust is the gateway to overcoming insecurity in a relationship. Building trust involves consistent honesty, reliability, and transparency. Act in ways that demonstrate your commitment and reliability, reinforcing your partner’s belief in your mutual bond. Make your partner believe you trust them, and also trust them without doubt. The fastest way to deal with insecurity is to build trust. Perhaps, without trust, the relationship won’t get anywhere.
READ MORE: 10 Factors Affecting Relationships Negatively
3. Kill Negative Thoughts.
What comes to your mind when your partner hangs out with the opposite sex? What do you think when you see your second half with friends of the opposite sex? Do you always assume that your partner is cheating on you when they’re not with you? All these negative thoughts can cause someone to be insecure, kill it and be optimistic about your relationship. Engage in positive self-talk and focus on your strengths and the positives within the relationship.
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4. Avoid Too Much Jealousy.
Too much jealousy is the root cause of insecurity. I understand you love them and are scared of losing them, but you also need to realize that being in a relationship doesn’t mean we’re in prison. Let them have their freedom; just tell them to be loyal and trust each other. When you see your partner with the opposite sex, avoid frowning or getting angry; instead, you can just overlook it.
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5. Set Boundaries.
Creating boundaries helps to create a sense of security and respect within the relationship. All you have to do is communicate your needs and expectations while respecting those of your partner.
For example, checking their phones constantly, hacking their social media accounts, or reading their private messages without their consent can worsen the insecurity within the relationship, especially if your partner dislikes such behavior. It is crucial to establish a clear boundary. Inform your partner about the things you expect from them and vice versa, and respect each other’s boundaries.
READ MORE: What to do when your Boyfriend or Girlfriend asks you to give them space or go on a break
6. Spend Quality Time Together.
Spending quality time together with your partner can deepen the intimacy and understanding between you and your second half. When there is mutual understanding in a relationship, there will be fewer arguments and fights. Spending quality time together with your partner while engaging in activities in which you have a common interest can make you feel secure and confident in the relationship.
7. Embrace Patience.
Don’t jump to conclusions without listening to your partner first. If you have anything that is giving you serious concern, handle it with patience. Do not react to your significant other based on hearsay or false accusations without evidence. The perfect way to deal with insecurity is to be patient.
Don’t rush to make any decisions without expressing your feelings and listening to your partner first. For instance, if you see a strange picture on their phone, instead of assuming that they are seeing someone behind your back, stay calm and confront them, then listen to whatever they have to say because it might not be what you think.
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9. Stop Monitoring Them.
Allow your partner to enjoy life without you. They also deserve to be happy on their own with or without you. Stop monitoring their movements, stalking them, and checking their phones every time. Also, if you have always been visiting your partner unannounced, try to limit all these habits.
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10. Reaffirm Your Love For Each Other.
Sometimes, you tend to make quick decisions that you will later regret. Instead of bringing up breakup topics, why don’t you reaffirm your love for each other? Give your partner reassuring words. Be more affectionate. Surprise your partner in the most random ways that you can think of. Give your partner no reason to feel jealous at all.
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11. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
Don’t compare yourself with your former lovers. Understand that you are unique on your own. More so, do not compare your relationship with those of your friends.
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12. Figure Out What’s Bothering You.
In addition to No. 1 above, there are different causes of insecurity for lovers in relationships that vary from one person to another. Find out what’s really bothering you. You know yourself better than anyone else, right? Find out the causes of the things that trigger these negativities. It will be helpful in overcoming insecurity in the relationship.
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13. Change Your Attitude Towards Your Partner.
If you feel like nothing is changing and you still feel insecure, you should change your perspective about life and your partner. Life must have taught you bitter lessons in the past—maybe not to trust anyone again—but right now you need to change your perspective about people because everyone isn’t the same.
Do you always feel like your partner will leave you someday? Do you think that they are doing something behind your back? Now is the right time to change your perspective that they are here to stay.
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14. Focus On Things That Keep You Busy And Happy.
Keeping yourself busy with things that are productive is an effective way to fight insecurity in a relationship. Instead of focusing on the bad and negative thoughts, find other activities that keep you happy as a partner to your significant other.
When those negative thoughts pop into your head, you can try other things that make you happy, for example, dancing, exercising, watching comedy videos, or talking to your significant other about your mood swings.
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15. Love Yourself.
Self-esteem is very important in any relationship. Have confidence in yourself, and remind yourself of how important and how amazing you are. Believe in yourself, and let confidence scare those insecurities away. Never forget to always love yourself.
READ MORE: What True Love Means in a Relationship: How to Find True Love
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