Is it Advisable to be a Second Wife? The Benefits and Disadvantages
While there are situations where becoming a second wife might seem like a viable option, it is essential to examine the benefits and disadvantages, as well as the potential emotional and societal implications involved.
This article aims to explore the complexities of being a second wife and provide a balanced perspective on the matter. Below are the disadvantages of being a second wife.
1. Your marriage could end in an embarrassing manner.
The first wife may show up at your wedding and embarrass you. This kind of embarrassment can leave an unforgettable scar.
READ ALSO: 11 Easy Ways to Identify Yahoo Boys in Nigeria (Signs to know He’s a Gee-boy)
2. Fights and unhappiness.
It’s not advisable to be a second wife because your happiness isn’t guaranteed forever in that marriage. It is always sweet and fun in the beginning, but be prepared for fights and arguments in the future. If you want peace of mind, never opt for a second wife.
READ ALSO: The Benefits and Disadvantages of Having a Backup Boyfriend and Girlfriend in a Relationship
Most women who marry as a second wife are more likely to get divorced later due to the stigma attached to polygamous marriage.
ALSO READ: 13 Signs You’re Not Ready for a Serious Relationship Yet
4. Financial Issues.
Another disadvantage and problem with being a second wife is the financial aspect. Men nowadays like to abandon their responsibilities, leaving the mother the only one to take responsibility, and this burden can be too much for you if you have many kids.
If your husband is paying child support for his first wife and doing other responsibilities, he might not leave much for you and your household. In some cases, his first wife may be entitled to some portions of his assets. Thus, before you accept to be his second wife, make sure you talk about financial situations, liabilities, and financial goals and get your affairs in order before walking down the aisle.
ALSO READ: 10 Golden Rules to Make Your Relationship Perfect
Being a stepparent can be a very difficult job if the kids don’t like you. They may be hard on you and see you as the reason for their parents’ breakup, even if that isn’t the case. You may have to deal with co-parenting your husband’s children and his first or ex-wife.
ALSO READ: How to Behave When You Visit your in-laws for the First Time to impress Them
The jealousy of the first wife towards the second wife and vice versa may cause arguments and disagreements, which may have a negative impact on the marriage. Even as a second wife, no woman likes to be shared with other women, so if your husband does something for you and your kids, the first wife and your stepkids may get jealous, which may affect your union negatively.
ALSO READ: 4 Types of People You Must Never Lie to
Another disadvantage of being a second wife is the comparison with the husband. Your husband may use your weaknesses to compare you with his first wife, and likewise, you may begin to compare yourself to the first wife and see yourself as his choice. With this character, the man cannot enjoy a stable and calm life in the marital union.
ALSO READ: How to Manage Religion Differences in Relationship
What are the benefits of being a second wife?
The most important reason why women agree to be a man’s second or tenth wife is because of the man’s wealth. A woman would rather be the 20th wife of a rich man than the first wife of a church rat. The major benefits of being a second wife are the attention, money, fame, and power they may likely get from the man. It’s also possible that the man will shift all attention to the second wife.
Some women may choose to be second wives due to a desire for companionship and emotional connection. For individuals who prioritize emotional fulfillment over societal norms, this arrangement may provide the desired level of support and partnership.
ALSO READ: How to Change Someone in a Relationship
Is it advisable to be a second wife?
No! but it also depends on the marital status and relationship. If your man was already divorced before you met him, it’s fine to be his second wife since he’s no longer married to his first wife. You could also marry him if his first wife is dead or if the first wife accepts you willingly to be his second wife, which I doubt. It is not advisable to be a second wife to a man who already has a wife.
Being a second wife typically implies entering into a polygamous relationship, where a man has more than one wife. It is crucial to acknowledge cultural and religious differences across the globe. In some countries, polygamy is recognized and legally regulated, while in others, it is considered illegal or culturally taboo. Therefore, the advisability of being a second wife can vary depending on the context. If your culture or religion permits it and that’s your choice, then fine, you can go for it.
ALSO READ: 4 Things You Should Never Criticize Someone About
Factors to consider before accepting to be a second wife:
1. Separate apartment.
If a man proposes marriage to you as his second wife, make sure that he has plans for you to live in a separate apartment and not under the same roof as the first wife; otherwise, you may not enjoy the union.
ALSO READ: What Does “I Love You” Mean Exactly? Here are 10 THINGS LOVE IS NOT
2. Financial goals
Being a second wife is a difficult job; therefore, it is important to analyze if your man is financially capable of handling all the financial goals that come with polygamous marriage. If he’s a man who earns averagely, then it will be unwise to accept such a proposal. This is to avoid being the only one providing for your children in the future.
ALSO READ: Is it True that Men are Polygamous by Nature? Find Answers Now
Before accepting to be his second wife, he should introduce you to his family, in particular his parents. If the family accepts you to be his second wife, then that’s a big win for you, but if they don’t, it would be a better decision if you could reject his marriage proposal.
ALSO READ: What Should I Do If My Girlfriend is Pregnant? Here are 9 Important Things You Must do
In conclusion, the decision to become a second wife should be a personal choice made after careful consideration of individual circumstances, values, and desires. It is essential to prioritize one’s emotional well-being, personal aspirations, and overall happiness when contemplating such a significant life decision.
ALSO READ: How do I Tell my Parents that I’m pregnant or Have Impregnated Someone?