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What to Do If Someone Loves You But You Don’t Love Them Back

What to Do If Someone Loves You But You Don't Love Them Back

What to Do If Someone Loves You But You Don’t Love Them Back


Love is an affection that is unpredictable. Sometimes the fire of love burns with high intensity and sometimes the fire quenches. When the love finally quenches, the question, “What to do if someone loves you but you don’t love them back?” is what comes to your mind.


Relationships are full of both pain and happiness. The pain of being rejected by someone whom you once called the love of your life; the pain of loving someone but they didn’t love you back; the trauma of having someone who truly loves you but you find it difficult to love them back This, at times, results in confusion and you do not know what to do.


Have you been in a relationship whereby you know within yourself that your partner loves you but you didn’t love him/her back? To make the relationship work, love must come from both sides, as that is the pillar that can save the relationship from collapse. If someone loves you and you didn’t love them back, or you loved someone who didn’t love you back, practice the tips below.



Don’t jump to conclusions if they love you and you don’t love them back. Instead, what you should do first is give it time. Do you have anyone in your life disturbing you all the time for love? Or you are in a new relationship but can’t figure out whether you love him/her yet. Whatever your reasons may be, you should give it time. Trust me, it takes time to build love in relationships. I’ve heard stories about couples who never liked each other at first but later ended up loving one another and getting engaged. 


So you should give it time, as this will make you figure out whether or not you love them. When I met my woman, I never loved her. To be sincere  I didn’t even see her as my life partner because of my past relationships. As time went on, when the relationship continued to grow, I started developing feelings for her and, behold, the woman whom I thought I never loved is now someone I can’t do without as I now cherish her so much. If they love you and you don’t love them back, or if you love them but they don’t love you back, try to give it time first to figure out what your feelings are.




It’s not easy to cope with a relationship whereby it seems you are the one dating yourself. You send love messages but get no reply. You are always the one to call. You are always the one to apologize, even when you are not at fault. This could be that you love them but they don’t love you back. Imagine someone calls you and says, “I love you,” but you can’t return the words because you are not sure of your feelings. Well, to set your conscience free, you have to sit him/her down and say what’s on your mind.


First appreciate him/her and then talk about your feelings. Let them know that you are not sure of your feelings anymore and need time to figure this out. This might result in heartbreak, but I think it’s one of the best decisions to clear your conscience. Besides, what is the essence of being in a relationship whereby you love someone and they don’t love you back? or a situation whereby they love you but you don’t love them back? There is nothing as sweet as loving someone who loves you back in return, and if this is absent in your relationship, then it’s time for you to discuss this with your partner. 

See also  11 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You and Wants You Back


There was a lady I once loved with all my heart. Unfortunately, she clarified to me that she only liked me as a friend and not as a partner. It took me months to heal from the heartache, but I think that was the best decision, rather than lying to my face. So try to discuss this with your partner and arrive at a conclusion.

ALSO READ: 4 Signs of a Cheater and the consequences of cheating



If they love you and you don’t love them back, then build space or set boundaries. If you guys have been hanging out often, then you should stop it. This doesn’t mean that you will not pick up their calls or chat, but you just have to set a limit. After all, you don’t love them, so there is no need to keep effective communication with them. So if you don’t love them back, keep space and vice versa. 


That is, if someone whom you once called the love of your life or someone whom you cherish so much started giving you space and shunning every means of communication in the relationship, this could be a sign that he doesn’t love you anymore. They might not want to tell you to your face because they don’t want you to be left heartbroken, so they set boundaries. Building space is what you should do if they love you and you don’t love them back.




One of the things you should do if someone loves you and you don’t love them back is to know what you want. Instead of giving false hope, let your no be no. If you don’t love them, please let them go rather than giving fake promises because it could lead to a destination which you might later regret in life. You know within yourself that you have no feelings for him/her, or you know that you no longer love them, but maybe because you were afraid of losing them, or due to the benefits you gain from the relationship, you decided to deceive them by pretending to love them. 


You know you don’t want them, so why still keep them and give them false hope? I believe you should know what you want. I learned a story about a young lady who committed suicide after realizing that the man she loved with all her heart used her and dumped her after using the money she kept with him to marry another woman. 


How would you feel if someone you genuinely cared about abandoned you for another man or woman? Bad right? This is why you should know what you want. If you never want them, then there is no need to keep the relationship. Let them go. You should stop taking gifts from them since you know they love you and you don’t love them back.



Can You Be In A Relationship With Someone But Not Love Them?

Yes, it is possible for you to be in a relationship with someone and not love them. The reasons for this vary. For instance, someone who recently experienced a heartbreak might find it difficult to love quickly, even if they find a new partner. Also, some people only go into relationships for sex and money, so they deceive them with fake love. 

See also  The Power of Forgiveness in a Relationship


This also happens when one is into double dating as they become confused about their feelings. What should you do if you find yourself in this situation? The best thing to do if you are in a relationship and you don’t love them is to keep communication alive in the relationship, as it is the major factor that grows love. 


Communicate effectively with your partner and spend quality time with each other. With this, I believe you should be able to love them back. However, if it doesn’t work, then you should let them go rather than force yourself to love them.


What Is It Called When You Love Someone But They Don’t Love You Back?

It is called selfish-love because they only care about themselves, which is unfair. Love should never be one-sided. It should be 50/50. It feels good to love and be loved in return.

ALSO READ: Six (6) Things That kills Relationship


What Are The Signs Of Not Being In Love?

There might come a time when you notice that there is no longer love in the relationship, and what are the signs of not being in love? They are as listed below:


1. YOU’RE NO LONGER INTERESTED IN THEM: When you are in love with someone, you show interest in their world. In fact, their favorite food color would become yours, but the moment this is lacking in your relationship, it is a sign of not being in love.



2. POOR COMMUNICATION: No matter how busy people are, they always make time for those they love, so if your boyfriend or girlfriend no longer calls, chats with you, or accommodates your visitation, it simply means that he/she no longer loves you.


3. ZERO FEELINGS: How did you feel when you saw your partner with someone else? Were you jealous or had no feelings? If the feelings are zero, it could be a sign of not being in love. Love is affection and it’s very powerful, but the moment you no longer feel anything, it’s a serious sign of not being in love.

ALSO READ: 12TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP (Check out the category you belong)


4. NO ROMANTIC VIBES: How does your partner react when you try to kiss or hug them? Do they reject you and shun you when you open your arms for a hug? If yes, this is a sign of not being in love. If the person who was once a romantic man or woman suddenly develops a strange attitude, this means that the love is probably dead and thus you should be preparing to move on.


In conclusion, the law of love states that 1+1 = 1. That is, love should be equal and not one-sided. If someone loves you and you don’t love them back, the best thing to do is to let them go rather than keep them knowing fully well that you had no feelings for them. You need to understand that you can’t force yourself to love someone and you can’t force someone to love you, as love is a feeling that grows naturally with time. Let them go if you know you don’t love them.

ALSO READ: 8 Reasons Why Dating Your Course Mate is Good


POLYTV Admin A.k.a 9jaPoly is A passionate Reporter that provides complete, accurate and compelling coverage of both anticipated and spontaneous News. 9jaPoly Started his career as a blogger and campus reporter in 2016. He loves to feed people with relevant Info. He is a polytechnic graduate (HND BIOCHEMISTRY). POLY TV ADMIN is a relationship expert and life coach. Apart from blogging, He love watching movies and meeting with new people to share ideas with. Add 9jaPOLY on WhatsApp +2347040957598 to enjoy more of his Updates and Articles.


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