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Can I date My Friend’s Ex? What to expect When You Date Your Friend’s Ex-boyfriend or Girlfriend

Can I date My Friend's Ex? What to expect When You Date Your Friend's Ex-boyfriend or Girlfriend

Love is a beautiful thing as you may suddenly develop feelings for someone, and that person could be your friend’s ex or your ex’s best friend. Your friend’s ex may also have feelings for you, and this question, “Can I date my friend’s ex?” will pop up in your head.

Well, if you are in this situation and are wondering if you can still date your friend’s ex, I will not give you a direct answer, but at the end of this article, you will be able to figure out if the relationship is right for you as we are going to point out the things to expect when you date your friend’s ex.

What to expect when dating your friend’s Ex

1. It could ruin your friendship

One of the things to expect when you date your friend’s ex is that the friendship will no longer be the same. Only a few men or women can tolerate seeing their former lover date their best friend. If you value the friendship with your best friend, it’s unwise to date his or her ex, and doing so could ruin the friendship.

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2. What ended their relationship?

Before you date your friend’s ex, what should come to mind first is “what ended their relationship? Did they break up peacefully or violently? Did you make any attempt to bring them back together? If the answer is no, then dating your friend’s ex is not a good idea because your friend may see you as a betrayal and blame you for being behind their breakup. Never date your friend’s ex unless you are sure that their breakup was necessary.

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3. Social Repercussions

There is this negative stigma that comes with dating a friend’s ex, as people believe there is a law that stops you from dating your friend’s ex or marrying your ex’s best friend. The moment you do this, be prepared for trolls online and offline, as people may begin to say negative things about you and call you different names.

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4. Are they still in love with each other?

Many people still go back to their ex, even when they’re already in another relationship, because they find it difficult to move on. In this case, you need to find out whether your friend is still in love with his or her ex and vice versa. If you confirm the love between them is dead, you can go ahead and date them, but if it is obvious your friend still loves his/her ex secretly, it may be best if you find another man or woman to date.

If your friend and their ex are still communicating normally and both are on good terms, never attempt to date the ex.

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5. It may damage your reputation

There is no assurance that your relationship with your friend’s ex will last forever, and this may affect your reputation. You will be referred to as a “Husband or wife snatcher.” Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. How would you feel if someone you called your friend decided to date your ex? I’m very sure you won’t be 100% comfortable with that. So why do you want to do something that you can’t accept?

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How to date your friend’s ex peacefully and without issues

If you are still interested in dating your friend’s ex despite the stigma and other challenges that come with it, there are some tips that can assist you in navigating the process to ensure that the relationship goes well and peacefully without anyone getting hurt. Here are some tips for dating your friend’s ex:

1. Get permission from your friend

Some friends will be cool with you dating their exes, while others will not take it lightly. Before you date your friend’s ex, make sure you get permission from him or her first. Have a conversation with your friend and ask what ended their relationship and if he or she still loves the ex.

If you request their permission and they say no,” then it may be best if you respect your friend’s decision. In some cases, they will lie and give you the go-ahead just to avoid unnecessary drama.

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2. Distance yourself from your friend

If your friend has granted you permission to date their ex, this is a nice feeling, but to make sure that your friendship doesn’t ruin your chances of building a healthy relationship, you need to set boundaries. Distance yourself from your friend for a while, and if possible, change locations.

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3. Do you really love him/her?

Why do you want to pursue this relationship? What is motivating you? Why do you want to date your friend’s ex? Is it to punish your friend or because you genuinely love the ex? If it is based on love, you have to know that love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship so that it will not crash in the future. If this is truly what you want, give it some serious thought.

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4. Wait for a while

To avoid unnecessary drama, you should wait a while before dating your friend’s ex, especially when the breakup is still fresh. The reason is that your friend might still be healing from the fresh wound, and perhaps couples do reunite again after a breakup.

So, wait for a while to be sure both your friend and the ex are no longer interested in each other, as that is the best time to shoot your shot and make things work out. A year after the breakup will be okay because, by then, your friend and the ex might have moved on.

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5. Avoid physical contact

If you want the relationship with your friend’s ex to go peacefully and successfully, make sure there is no physical contact between your friend and their exes. If they’re still seeing each other and communicating, the relationship may not work or be tough for you to handle.

For example, if your friend and their exes are living in the same location where they see each other often, for such a relationship to work, it may be best if you could change his or her location to avoid physical contact with your friend.

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6. Discuss the situation

Nobody is perfect, as we all have our own flaws, and this is why it is very important to discuss the challenges of your previous relationships to prevent future recurrence. Briefly talk about what ended the relationship between your friend and their ex. For instance, was it Infidelity, sexual abuse, emotional blackmail, verbal abuse, a lack of communication, or micro-cheating that caused their relationship to fail, and how can you both avoid that from happening again?

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If lack of communication was the reason for their breakup, I hope you guys are ready to communicate effectively, and if cheating was the issue, I hope you are ready to stay loyal to them. If the ex was an abuser, I hope they’re now a changed person. By addressing the issues that led to the breakup between your friend and their exes, you can easily date them without issues, and the relationship will lead to a happy marriage.

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Is it normal to date my friend’s ex?

Morally, it is not normal at all; in fact, society frowns at it, but if I’m to be honest, they say one man’s food is another man’s poison. If your friend’s ex is someone you really care about and see yourself with, and they feel the same way for you, a past relationship shouldn’t be a thing that stops you from getting what you want.

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You need to ask yourself if you are willing to do the work and face the social repercussions of dating your friend’s ex. If you are both ready to be together, you can make it work. It may be tough at first, but I’m very sure the dust will settle, and any ruffled feathers are sure to calm down after some time has passed.

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