An abusive relationship or marriage refers to a situation where one partner exerts power and control over the other through various forms of abuse. This abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, or financial in nature. It is characterized by a cycle of manipulation, intimidation, and violence, leading to the victim feeling trapped and helpless.
Emotional abuse involves belittling, demeaning, or insulting the victim, constantly criticizing and undermining their self-worth. It often includes controlling behaviors such as isolation, monitoring their activities, and restricting their freedom.
Physical abuse involves the use of physical force to harm the victim, causing injuries and pain. It may include hitting, slapping, kicking, pushing, or any other form of physical aggression.
Sexual abuse refers to any non-consensual sexual activity forced upon the victim, which can include rape, coercion, or manipulation to engage in sexual acts against their will.
Financial abuse occurs when the abusive partner controls the finances, preventing the victim from having access to money or resources. They may restrict their financial independence, create dependency, or use money as a means of control.
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Abusive love describes a situation where one person claims to love another but engages in abusive behaviors within the relationship. This can be confusing for the victim, as they may experience conflicting emotions of love and fear or be convinced that the abuser’s actions are motivated by love.
Abusive relationships and marriages are highly detrimental to the well-being of the victim. They can lead to physical injuries, emotional trauma, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and even death in severe cases. It is crucial for individuals in abusive situations to seek help and support to escape the cycle of abuse and find safety, but still, some women prefer to stay in abusive relationships and marriages. Below are the main reasons why women stay in abusive relationships or marriages.
1. FINANCIAL CONCERN
Once an abusive guy has money, he thinks he can do whatever he likes and may abuse the woman, beating her blue and black. Unfortunately, the woman remains in the relationship just because of the benefits she gains. After abusing her emotionally and beating her to pulp on Friday, he will buy her 1k suya on Sunday or add 10k to her account, and all the pain will vanish in seconds, and she will forget it till it happens again and again.
This is because most women depend fully on their boyfriend or husband for money and other financial concerns, so if she should walk away from the marriage, she might not be able to cope financially, hence she remains in the abusive marriage.
2. WHEN KIDS ARE INVOLVED
Most women remain in abusive marriages because they are afraid no one will look after their kids. Even if the man beats her with a stick, she will remain there just to make sure the children are safe, as she might not be able to take proper care of them if she files for divorce.
It is so sad that women with this mentality never think that they have their own lives to live and the same as the kids. If you die today, your children will definitely survive, so it is unwise to stay in such a marriage and suffer for nothing. You shouldn’t even raise your kids in such an environment with an abuser; they may grow to be just like the father too. Be wise.
3. WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY?
Most people don’t want to leave a relationship or marriage because of the social stigma. Especially when both families and friends have known them to be a good couple. They don’t want other people to say negative things about why they left their marriage or dumped such an abusive boyfriend.
So they would rather remain with that abusive man because they can’t tolerate the negative stigma from other people. But the truth is, if you care much about what other people say about how you live your life, happiness will be far away from you because you are trying to please others at the expense of your own life.
4. CULTURE AND RELIGION
Most women remain in abusive marriages and relationships because their religion forbids divorce or trying another man who is far better. They believe marriage is always “for better or for worse,” forgetting that there is nothing worse than being with an abusive man.
Some cultures and traditions also forbid a woman from leaving their marriage, and this has been a reason why you see many women sticking to that marriage despite the constant abuse. I’ve seen a situation where the parents of the woman forced her to be with her abusive husband after he reported him to them. Unfortunately, the family was demanding justice after the wife’s demise; she died from internal bleeding after her husband beat her during a fight.
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5. LOVE IS BLIND
When you ask some women why they stay with their abusive boyfriend despite the notable red flags in the relationship, you will hear them say, “I love him,” because they think love is blind. But you should know that abusive love is unhealthy. Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship and a happy marriage. Every man must learn to treat their woman with love, kindness, and respect.
In summary, if a man cherishes joy in abusing you with bruises all over your body, there is no genuine reason to remain in that abusive relationship or marriage, and nobody needs to tell you that this type of love is unhealthy. Perhaps, love is not blind; love sees but ignores, just like you can see that this relationship or marriage isn’t healthy for you but pretend it is okay. You should walk away from any abusive relationship or marriage. I know it’s hard to walk away, but the longer you stay with someone who exhibits these red flags, the more damage your heart and future may suffer.
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