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How to Handle the Pressure to get Married from Parents, Family, and Friends

Marriage is a beautiful thing only if you marry the right person, and for you to make the right choice, you have to stabilize your life first and ensure that that person is the right choice for you because a wrong choice will lead to unhappiness in marriage.

However, some parents, family, and friends might be pressuring you to get married even when you know within yourself that you are not ready for that yet. How do you handle a situation like this? In this article, we explore ways through which you can deal with parents, family, and friends pressuring you to get married.

How to Escape Marriage Pressure from Parents:

1. Converse with Your Parents, Family, And Friends.

Your parents may believe that marriage brings fortune and blessings, and perhaps they are just eager to see their grandchildren, or they might feel you are now getting old. Whatever their reasons, maybe listen to them and have an open and understanding conversation with them.

Talk to them, listen to their reasons, and also address your concerns about why you can’t get married at the moment. Sometimes the reason why your parents will put pressure on you is due to social pressure and comparison with your friends.

Are they feeling angry? Frustrated or eager? Understanding their reactions can help you have a balanced dialogue with them and help them feel heard.

2. Explain the Reasons Why You Can’t Get Married Now.

If your parents and family are still pressuring you to get married, the best way to handle them is by telling them that you are not ready yet. You will be like, “Not yet time, sir/mir” or “When it’s time, I will introduce him/her to you.”

Explain to them why you can’t get married at the moment. In my own case, I told my parents that I don’t want my kids and wife to suffer, and that is why I don’t want to rush into marriage because I’m not financially ready. I said, “I understand you guys are eager to bless my marriage, but I’m not ready yet because there is no money.”

I can’t take the risk of begging my parents for funds to take care of my own family and my responsibility. Never, that’s not going to happen, so I’ve got to wait until it’s right rather than succumb to the pressure to get married from my parents and family.

3. Tell Them to Give You Time.

If your parents, family, and friends won’t listen to your excuse for being single, beg them to give you more time. This is another way to get them to stop pressuring you to get married.

You could say, “Daddy/mummy, please give me some time. I will surprise you soon, but for now, I will be grateful if you could stop pressuring me for marriage. I don’t want to make the wrong choice, and this is why I need more time to figure out the right man or woman for me.” If you can express yourself clearly and beg them to give you more time, the pressure to marry will reduce because your parents also want the best for you.

4. Distance Yourself from Home.

If you are still living with your parents, the pressure to get married might not be easy on you, and some family members may find it difficult to understand why you are not yet married. To deal with this situation, distance yourself from home and avoid family meetings or family gatherings where they will bring your topic of not being married to the table for discussion.

Your parents will not pressure you if they don’t see you physically, and if at all they bring up such a topic when talking on the phone, you can always tell them that you will call them back or say you will talk about it later. This way, you won’t see any family members who will mount pressure on you to get married.

5. I’M Waiting for the Right Person.

Another way of dealing with friends that won’t stop asking you, “When will you marry?” is by telling them you are still waiting for the right man or woman. “I’m still looking up to God, but I hope very soon God will answer my prayer.” When you tell them you are waiting for the right person, they will understand that you have no plans of getting married anytime soon and thus will stop pressuring you.

If it’s your parents that are pressuring you, just tell them that you have no fiancée yet or tell them you just met a new partner and you are still building things so that when it’s time to get to know him or her, you will notify them.

6. Keep Postponing Until You Are Ready.

Whenever your family asks about your marriage plan, you can keep postponing it. For instance, if your parents ask you to bring home your boyfriend for marriage, just tell them that he is not around and that he will come for an introduction or marriage next year or in the next 2 years.

Look for ways to postpone it; this will give them assurance that your husband or wife is coming soon, and when the time that you promised them has passed and you are still not ready, you can postpone it again, saying your boyfriend or girlfriend is in his/her final year in school and wants them to finish first before getting married.

7. Reassure Them.

Offer them reassurance that you will decide when and who is right for you, even if your parents insist on getting you married. Assure them that you would prefer to make a decision yourself and will take all the responsibility on your shoulders when it is right for you.

8. You Are Not Getting Younger Anymore.

It is possible that your parents put pressure on you to get married with the point that you are aging. In this case, it is crucial to talk to your family and let them know that there is no age limitation in marriage and that it is better to be single than rush into marriage with the wrong person.

Your parents may have this mentality that certain events should happen at a certain age in your life the way they happened in theirs; nevertheless, what happiness, fulfillment, and marriage mean to you could be different from theirs. Express your stance regarding children and how it is your responsibility to make a decision rather than assume that everything will go fine as soon as you get married.

9. Send Someone to Talk to Your Parents.

Some parents don’t have an understanding mindset; they think what is good for them is also good for you, which is not always true. If you think your parents are not listening to you, I will advise you to talk to someone in your family who your parents respect the most so they can encourage your parents to stop mounting pressure on you to get married.

How to Escape Marriage Pressure: Friends

If you have a friend who won’t stop putting pressure on you to get married, the best way to handle them is to warn them to never ask you such questions again. Some of the responses are:

Please stop asking me when I’m getting married. Will you feed my family if I get married now?

Please mind your business.

When I’m getting married is none of your business.

I will marry very soon; until then, please never ask me such a question again.

Have you gotten a job for me that will take care of my family if I marry now?

These are the perfect responses for your friends and neighbors who like to pressure you to get married. Once you clarify them and shut them up, they will respect themselves and won’t bother to pressure you anymore.

What if my parents insist they will fund my wedding just to get married?

It doesn’t matter if your parents insist on funding your wedding just to get married; what matters is marrying for the right reasons and to the right person, not because of pressure. Marriage is your own responsibility, not your parents.

Remember, you are going to live with your spouse forever, not with your parents, so you must be careful never to allow anyone to rush to make a decision that will hurt your happiness in future.

It’s not about the wedding, but rather what will happen after the wedding. Marry someone who is good for you, not good for your parents. Take time and exercise patience in choosing your life partner.

What is your advice for people?

People should stop pressuring young men and women to get married immediately after leaving the university or graduating from college. There is more to life than just marriage. Allow them to get married when they feel safe doing so and when they can take on the responsibility that comes with marriage. Marriage should not be seen as a must-have achievement. Let people decide for themselves when to get married.

In summary, to deal with parents, family, and friends pressuring you to get married, it is important to have an open conversation with them. It is possible that they may get convinced by your point of view and stop mounting pressure on you to get married.