RELATIONSHIP

Why Some Men Say ‘She’s Too Expensive to Date’: The Real Meaning Behind the Statement

Why Some Men Say ‘She’s Too Expensive to Date’

What Do Men Really Mean by “A Woman Is Too Expensive to Date”?

When a man says, “She’s too expensive to date,” it’s not always about money in the literal sense. That statement often stems from his perception of a woman’s lifestyle, relationship expectations, family background, education, and financial standing. But what exactly makes a woman seem “expensive” in the eyes of some men? Let’s break it down with a clear lens and honest perspective.

1. Financial Demands

A woman with no skill, income, or educational qualification may be seen as a financial burden in a relationship. In such situations, the man might have to carry the full weight of expenses—rent, bills, outings, and other necessities—which could feel overwhelming. Some men interpret this as “too expensive to maintain.”

On the flip side, when a woman earns significantly more than her partner, some men still view her as expensive—not because she demands money, but because they feel insecure. Men often pride themselves on being providers. If a woman is financially ahead, a man who struggles to match her lifestyle may feel inadequate or uncomfortable, fearing that his efforts won’t be appreciated.

Correction: No woman is too expensive if she genuinely loves you. Income differences should not ruin a relationship. Instead of assuming, have honest conversations about values and expectations. This will help you know if you’re both on the same page.

2. Relationship Expectations

Some women have a defined taste in relationships—cars, comfort, gifts, rent assistance, regular allowances, and luxury items like wigs, skincare products, and trending fashion. While this reflects personal standards and not necessarily greed, it can be too much for some men to handle—especially if these expectations don’t match the woman’s own contributions. The average Nigerian man might view such a woman as “too expensive” due to the financial and emotional strain her lifestyle may place on him.

Correction: Before jumping to conclusions, ask her what she truly wants in a man and in a relationship. If she desires a lifestyle beyond what you can maintain in the long run, she may not be expensive—just not a good fit for your current reality.

ALSO READ: Affordable Private Health Insurance Options in Nigeria

3. Social Expectations

Some women carry a lifestyle that elevates a man’s social status just by association. But this can come with pressure. A man may feel compelled to keep up with her social circles, participate in frequent events, wear trendy outfits, or cover costs for parties, vacations, and “aso ebi” contributions. A woman who is active on social media, influenced by trends, or always “outside” can be financially draining to date. Men who can’t sustain that rhythm might tag such women as “expensive.”

Tip: There’s nothing wrong with enjoying life, but it becomes a problem when your lifestyle consistently outpaces your partner’s financial ability. If you can’t afford her lifestyle, it’s okay to seek someone more aligned with yours.

ALSO READ: Effective Communication Tips for Nigerian Student Couples

4. Education

Men admire and respect educated women. Intelligence, confidence, and a solid career can be attractive traits. However, some men feel intimidated if a woman’s academic or career achievements exceed theirs. To them, it’s not just about degrees—it’s about the perceived difference in class, intellect, or exposure. This can lead some men to believe she’s too expensive to date—not because she demands much, but because they fear they don’t measure up.

5. Financial Stability

A woman who is financially stable, self-made, and independent is often seen as expensive—not because she requires money from a man, but because many men question what they can offer her. Statements like: “She already has everything; what can I bring to the table?” “She won’t respect me if I don’t match her level.”

This mindset leads some men to withdraw. It’s not always about the woman being demanding—it’s about the man’s own insecurity. While financially secure women are in relationships too, it’s less common when men feel overshadowed or inadequate.

6. Billing Mentality

Some women expect their partner to lift not just them, but also their family, out of poverty. This “Messiah” expectation can come with hidden costs. If her parents or siblings start relying on the man financially, it can turn into a heavy burden. When family expectations start overlapping with romantic ones, some men will tap out, labelling the woman as “too expensive to date.”

What Really Makes a Woman Expensive?

Let’s go deeper. A woman isn’t expensive because of her fashion or phones. True expensiveness is about value—not just money.

1. Education

An educated woman holds power—not just in qualifications, but in how she thinks, speaks, and carries herself. She knows her worth. This alone makes her rare and expensive—not because of what she demands, but because of who she is.

2. Environment

A woman’s environment shapes her standards. A woman who lives in Lekki or a gated estate is likely used to a certain level of comfort and exposure. Compare that to a woman living in a one-room apartment in a local neighborhood—different environments, different expectations. Where she lives can determine how a man perceives her financially.

ALSO READ: How to Celebrate Christmas in Low-Key

3. Productivity

Being expensive isn’t about designer bags—it’s about productivity. A proactive, independent woman who handles her own business, finances, or career is expensive—not because she needs you, but because she chose you. Such women are rare. Only men who match their energy and mindset deserve them.

4. Appearance

Presentation matters. Men often judge a woman’s “expensiveness” based on how she dresses, her grooming, and her general appearance. A classy woman with a polished look will automatically seem expensive—even if she’s humble in spending. That’s because she reflects effort and taste.