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What to Do When You Catch Your Boyfriend Dating Another Woman

Is your boyfriend cheating on you with someone else, and you don’t know what to do about it? While this experience can bring disappointment and frustration, it shouldn’t mark the end of the relationship just like that. If you still love him and can’t bear to lose him, there are strategies you can employ to handle the situation and win him back.

In this article, we will discuss what to do if you ever catch your boyfriend secretly dating another woman.

1. Gather Evidence.

Accusing a man of infidelity without evidence can harm your relationship. Make sure you have sufficient evidence before confronting your boyfriend; otherwise, he will deny it and might become clever enough that you may never catch him again. Gather evidence—perhaps his chats, phone calls, SMS, or whereabouts. This will help provide clarity when communicating your feelings.

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2. Confront Him with the Evidence.

Tell him that you have something important to discuss. Try to discuss this face-to-face so he won’t have time to prepare a lie or defense in advance. When you meet, confront him with the evidence and demand an explanation. Listen to his excuses and see if they seem genuine. Although there is no justification for cheating in a relationship, listening to his excuses can provide insight into what to do next.

Ask about his relationship with the other girl—when it started, how it started, how they met, and what he saw in her that made him cheat on you. These questions are necessary to understand his intentions toward you. Although your boyfriend might lie or become defensive, if you have evidence of his misbehavior, he will have no choice but to admit his faults and apologize.

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3. Ask Him What He Truly Wants.

Some men date multiple women at once because they don’t know what they want. Your boyfriend might be one of those who aren’t sure about what they want. You don’t want to lose him, right? Do you still love him? If yes, then you should ask him what exactly he wants—that you’re not doing enough that has led him to cheat. These questions can help you gain insight into what your boyfriend is really up to.

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4. How Old Is Your Relationship?

Some men may want to explore other women, especially if the relationship is still fresh, as it’s possible the relationship isn’t serious yet. If the relationship is still new, it’s best to exercise patience with your boyfriend instead of giving up on him or pressuring him too much.

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5. Ask Him to Choose Between You and the Other Girl.

Depending on the circumstances and his relationship with the other woman, ask him to choose between you two and observe his reaction. Two things may happen: either he chooses you or the other girl, or he asks for time to reflect on the issue.

If your boyfriend says he wants to be with you, tell him to end things with the other girl and show you evidence to prove his loyalty. Some men might refuse to do this, but if he actually does it, it may be a sign that he values you more than the other woman. If he breaks up with the other woman or blocks her, check his phone occasionally to confirm that she remains blocked and he’s no longer communicating with her. Some men are clever enough to unblock their side chicks after promising to block them in your presence.

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6. Give Him Time.

It is not easy to let go of a relationship, especially when love is involved, so give him time, particularly if he’s remorseful for cheating. It may take time to fully let go of the other woman. Be patient and have faith in him. Remember, change doesn’t happen overnight. If your boyfriend has apologized, begged, and promised to change, forgive him and give him time to adjust to your expectations.

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7. Give Him Another Chance.

When a man cheats on you, the love you have for him might diminish. You might also hold grudges against him. While these feelings are normal, it’s important to embrace forgiveness. Forgive him and give him another chance to right his wrongs.

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8. Reach Out to the Other Girl.

If you and your boyfriend have been together for years, and he suddenly starts acting strange because of a new partner, try to get the other woman’s contact and talk to her politely. Explain how long you and your boyfriend have been together and possibly appeal to her to stay away from him. I’m not asking you to fight or be rude—just talk to her politely and see how she responds. Before you use this approach, you must have tried steps 1–7.

Speaking with the other woman might seem like overstepping your boundaries, but sometimes you have to fight for your love. When I say fight, I mean through communication—not abuse or physical confrontation. Her response will give you insight into what to do next.

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9. Continue With the Relationship.

When you discover that your boyfriend is secretly dating someone else, you may feel disappointed and betrayed. However, don’t be too quick to end the relationship. Instead, ask for space to cool off and reflect on what to do. Moreover, you may continue with the relationship while observing your boyfriend’s attitude and behavior to determine whether he will leave the other woman and remain loyal to you.

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10. Be Loyal.

One of the most important things you can offer a man in any relationship is loyalty. Men often prioritize loyalty above all else. If you truly love him, make sure you don’t make the mistake of cheating on him. No matter how many times he has cheated, he might never forgive you if he finds out you’ve cheated, which could destroy the relationship. Stay loyal and hope for a change in his behavior.

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11. Look Forward to a Change In His Behavior.

If your boyfriend promises to change and shows signs that he wants you in his life, give him time, but pay close attention to his behavior. Has there been any change since he promised to improve? Has he ended things with the other woman? If not, be patient, give him peace of mind, and gently remind him to stop wasting your time. It’s advisable to observe him for a year—if after a year he still hasn’t let go of the other woman, you may need to reconsider the relationship.

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12. Talk To His Parents, Family, And Friends.

If your boyfriend has introduced you to his parents, friends, and other family members, you can inform them about what’s going on in your relationship. Hopefully, they can help you talk to him. Their support and words of encouragement can be helpful in handling the situation.

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13. Let Him Go.

Only a man knows where his heart truly belongs. If, after all your efforts, your boyfriend still won’t leave the other woman, you may need to consider letting him go; perhaps you deserve better. You can’t force yourself on him—he must choose. If it seems like he doesn’t want you, don’t waste your time waiting. Let him go.

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