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Is Having a Male or Female Bestie Good for Someone in a Serious Relationship?

One of the most common things we find in this civilized world now are besties, school fathers, school mothers, school sons, and spiritual fathers. All these are very common in Nigerian polytechnics, universities, and colleges.

A bestie is referred to as a best friend of the opposite sex, so if you hear anybody saying she or he needs a bestie, it means they want friends with the opposite gender. The main purpose is to be friends. While some people stretch “benefits” to it, the benefits may include sex, cooking, taking responsibility, and acting as an adviser, counselor, or helper when the need arises.

For instance, if a woman has issues with her relationship, she will go to her bestie for advice; she may also visit her bestie to cook for him, and the bestie might be helping her financially too.

Now to the point: Is it good for someone in a committed relationship to have a bestie?

The answer is yes and no, but for me, I will say no. If your relationship is getting serious, then having a bestie is unwise. Besties have ruined so many relationships because we’re now living in a civilized world where people prioritize sex over good friendship.

So if you allow your partner to have a bestie, this can impact your relationship negatively, especially if the bestie doesn’t like your partner. Whenever there is an issue with you and your partner, they will run to their bestie for advice, and you don’t know how dangerous the advice could be; it may destroy the relationship you have built for years.

Moreso, having a bestie can give rise to trust issues and insecurity between you and your spouse. Do you expect them to trust you when they see you hanging out with your bestie or when you visit your bestie’s house? I guess no. If you allow your partner to have a bestie, please watch your back because they might be smashing themselves behind you.

Should I allow my spouse to have a school father or school daughter?

If someone says she needs a school father, you should ask them if their real father is still alive. Although there are still good men, they’re just a few. Old students hide under the guise of a school father and daughter to engage in romance. A school father and daughter are now having sex despite having a serious relationship.

I’m not saying all school fathers and daughters do this, but with my years of experience as a campus reporter, I can confidently tell you that school father is scam. Never allow your partner to engage in such behavior. If they are not comfortable, let them go, there is no relationship without rules.

Is a bestie good for someone in a serious relationship?

Anybody who is in a serious relationship won’t have a bestie; your bestie should be your boyfriend or girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, you could have a friend of the opposite sex, but it should be formally and not to the extent of spending unlimited time together and visiting their house, because if you do, you will definitely develop feelings for them, and from there, sex temptation comes in.

If at all you must have a bestie, make sure you don’t allow the temptation of spending time together constantly; you might be playing with your feelings. Because you may get more addicted to your bestie than even your boyfriend or girlfriend, and this thing will ruin everything. If your spouse is into this bestie stuff, I doubt if they can ever be loyal to you 100%.

Although experience is not the best teacher, all my friends were female back then in school. To be sincere, I liked them and even developed feelings for some of them. Some of our course mates never believed they were just friends like we read together; they changed their dress in my room, and they gave me the title “our husband.” We didn’t get to the sex part because I was trying to be a responsible man, so they trusted me, but I can tell you that we had so many temptations.

So if your spouse and her bestie chat regularly to the extent that they hang out every time, visit each other, and spend quality time together, you need to watch your back because it doesn’t make sense for someone in a serious relationship.

Anyone who is in a committed or serious relationship should know how to set a boundary. You can have friends, but it shouldn’t exceed formally, like, “How are you? Fine, fine,” and that’s all. Don’t be selfish; try to consider your partner’s feelings too.

By the way, I’ve received many anonymous messages from people who claimed to have feelings for their besties. You can imagine how tough this will be for someone who already has a girlfriend or boyfriend and has feelings for a best friend. It doesn’t make any sense at all unless you don’t want to be honest with yourself. If you want a serious relationship, you can have best friends of the opposite sex, but keep your distance and set clear boundaries. At least you should know your limits.

Is it okay for my girlfriend to have many male friends?

Having too many male friends is a red flag you must never ignore. Although it is understandable that many people now want to have more viewers on their status and more followers on their social media, they have many friends to help them achieve that. If your girlfriend has more male friends than female friends, your relationship is at risk.

The moment your girlfriend tells you she has a bestie and still keeps on giving her number to everyone, just know you might be sharing her with the bestie. Two people can be friends at first and end up falling in love with each other later. It’s very common; in fact, I know several examples of this.

Females mainly want male besties to do boyfriend duties when they are not actually dating those male friends. Whenever the relationship breaks, there is always a male bestie who will take over the duties of the boyfriend. It is like having a pool of people willing to date you after breaking up with your partner.

Should I allow my girlfriend to have a friend?

Why not? She can have friends, but not to the extent of hanging out, going on dates, and spending quality time together. No man can allow you to have male friends while dating him. Even those whom you called male friends won’t take it, “except he wants to eat you and clean your mouth.”

I understand women always want to have friends with male friends, but you need to control yourself. You may not have interior motives towards your male friends, but you can’t trust guys like that; they’re wiredt. They can start having feelings for you even without “loving” you, and before you know it, you people will start having sex. It’s even worse when you go to their house.

Should I allow my boyfriend to have a bestie?

A man who respects your feelings will set clear boundaries in the relationship. If he has many female besties, including a school daughter and a school mother, make sure you talk to him about it and protest against it. This should be clearly stated at the beginning of the relationship. You can have friends, but it shouldn’t go beyond online, and if you guys are to meet in person, meet in open places.

Take Away: We’re not saying you shouldn’t have friends, but the point is, if you are already in a serious relationship, you need to cut ties with your besties or your friendship should be more of online than physical. Meet and gist in open places not in your house or his/her home.

The lecturer who was killed by a lion at OAU thought the lion was his friend since he had been caring for it since it was born in the zoo. Did the lion not chop the man? So, given the opportunity, your male friends will chop you too.

In conclusion, if you are in a serious relationship, you have failed as a boyfriend if your girlfriend has a male bestie. If your boyfriend has a bestie, watch your back; that might be your deputy. There is no relationship without rules; if you can’t abide by the rules, then stay single or marry your bestie. It’s as simple as that. Thank you. Meanwhile, let me hear your opinions about having a bestie.