RELATIONSHIP

How to Handle a Girlfriend Who Is Secretly Dating Another Man

It is uncommon to discover that a serious girlfriend, whom you were planning to marry, is secretly dating another man. Some women may feel comfortable dating two men at once for reasons best known to them. What if you caught your girlfriend secretly dating another man? How would you react? Are you suspecting that your girlfriend is seeing someone else in secret? This article provides tips on how to handle a girlfriend who is secretly dating another man.

1. Gather Evidence.

Cheating girlfriends can be skilled at lying. When you confront them without proof, they may become defensive and deny any wrongdoing. So, if you suspect she’s seeing another man, don’t rush to ask if she’s cheating; instead, wait until you have sufficient evidence to support your accusation.

How to get evidence:

Check her phone thoroughly, especially her call logs, SMS, chats, and social media accounts. Review her gallery for photos and videos, and take the time to look through everything. When examining her call logs, look for frequently contacted numbers and note the duration of conversations. Go through her social media messages, check for unfamiliar photos or videos, and, if relevant, review SMS or bank alerts. If you notice unusual financial transactions, this might further support your suspicion.

When checking her chats on platforms like Facebook or WhatsApp, search for keywords such as “I love you,” “sex,” “do you have a boyfriend?” or “send transport fare.” You could also search for your own name. For example, if your name is “John,” type it in the search box of her WhatsApp or Facebook account and see what comes up. This will help you gather evidence to understand if she has been unfaithful.

2. Confrontation Approach.

Once you have the evidence you need, it’s time to confront her. Avoid discussing this over the phone, as it may give her time to prepare a defense. Invite her to your home, and once she arrives, explain that you have something important to discuss. Present the evidence calmly and ask for an explanation. Listen to what she has to say. The key here is to ask why she’s cheating and inquire whether there’s something lacking in your relationship. Ask if her involvement with the other person is for money, love, or something else. Her responses can be useful as you make decisions about your relationship.

3. Give Her Space.

At this point, any decision you make may be influenced by your emotions. If you feel like reacting aggressively, refrain from doing so. Instead, ask her to give you space to calm down, allowing you time to process everything before discussing the situation further.

4. Evaluate the Outcome of Your Investigation.

Did she already cheat, or was she planning to? How recently did this happen, and with whom? The outcome of your investigation can help you decide whether to give the relationship a second chance or end it. For example, if you find out that she is seeing a married man or multiple men, ending the relationship may be the best option. In such cases, people often do not change, and it may save you further heartache.

ALSO READ: Can an Educated Man Marry an Uneducated Woman and Vice Versa?

5. Do You Still Love Her?

Love alone isn’t enough for a relationship; loyalty is essential. However, if you truly love her, don’t rush to break up. Instead, take time to reflect. Think about whether she deserves forgiveness, considering her past actions and any sacrifices she may have made for the relationship. If she shows genuine remorse and you believe she deserves a second chance, forgive her and observe her behavior over the next few months before making a final decision.

6. Ask Her to Choose.

When you discover that your girlfriend has been seeing someone else, it can be painful. However, remain calm and ask her who she truly wants to be with. Give her time to consider her answer to avoid pressuring her. If she chooses you, ask her to end things with the other man and show proof. This may include sending a breakup message to the other person, blocking him in your presence, and deleting his contact information.

ALSO READ: 4 THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE SAYING ‘YES’ TO A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE

7. Give Her Time.

If you still love her, give her time to meet your expectations. If she has cut ties with the other person, occasionally checking her phone can reassure you that he remains blocked. Doing so can help you understand her true intentions. If she unblocks him, it may indicate that she does not prioritize your relationship, which could influence your decision to continue.

8. Be Patient.

Whatever decision you make, do not act hastily. Give yourself and your girlfriend time to handle this issue thoughtfully. If she agrees to end contact with the other man, be patient and allow her time to adjust to your expectations.

9. Don’t Take Her Seriously Until You Notice a Change.

If you discover she has been seeing someone else, don’t take her words seriously until she proves through her actions that she has changed and is solely committed to you.

ALSO READ: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT INDUSTRIAL TRAINING PLACEMENT

10. Set Boundaries.

If you decide to stay together, discuss and establish boundaries that are important for both of you. If you choose to end the relationship, make sure to communicate that clearly and respectfully.

ALSO READ: How to Steal Someone’s Girlfriend

11. Take Care of Yourself.

Regardless of the outcome, focus on self-care. Spend time with friends and family, engage in activities you enjoy, and allow yourself time to heal.

ALSO READ: How to Avoid ATM Scam: Debit Card Fraud

12. Seek Support.

If you’re struggling with your feelings, consider speaking with a friend or therapist for additional support.

ALSO READ: 9 Ways to Tell Your Girlfriend You Don’t Have Money: How to Handle a Girlfriend Who Loves Money

13. End the Relationship if She Doesn’t Change.

If, after giving her a second chance, she continues the relationship with another man in secret, it may be best to end things and move on. If she isn’t willing to change, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to make her change.

ALSO READ: 8 Ways How to Handle Marriage Pressure from a Girlfriend

Should I Continue the Relationship or End It?

Whether or not to forgive a cheating girlfriend is a personal choice. If this is her first mistake and she takes responsibility, consider forgiving her. If she repeats it, then it’s likely she may not be serious about the relationship. If you feel unable to forgive her actions, take time to reflect before making your final decision.

ALSO READ:6 Effective Ways to Develop Yourself as a Good Student While Preparing for Life After School

Avoid Using Her for Physical Satisfaction as “Revenge”

Keeping a woman solely for physical satisfaction after discovering her unfaithfulness is unwise. Some men think this is a form of revenge, but it can make it harder for you to move on. If you know you can’t forgive her, it’s better to end the relationship entirely rather than continuing to see her for physical reasons. No amount of intimacy can undo what she did. If she becomes pregnant, you may feel obligated to stay, which could complicate things further. Moving on is often the better choice, as it opens up the possibility of finding someone better suited for you.

Advice for Men

Do not hurt her: Avoid physical or emotional retaliation. Walking away is a stronger choice than resorting to violence or destruction.
Avoid confronting the other man: Threatening or fighting with the other man won’t solve anything. Address the issue with your girlfriend instead. Have an honest conversation, express your feelings, and listen to her perspective.