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How to Avoid Being Used and Dumped in a Relationship

How to Avoid Being Used and Dumped in a Relationship

How to Avoid Being Used and Dumped in a Relationship

Being used and dumped can be a painful experience for anyone in a serious relationship. The feeling of betrayal and being deceived by someone you trusted with all your heart can be frustrating and confusing. If you don’t apply wisdom, people will use you, dump you, and still blame you for their own misbehavior. To avoid these painful experiences, below are some common ways to avoid being used and dumped in a relationship.

How to Avoid Being Used and Dumped:

1. Know What You Want.

If you don’t know what you want in a relationship, you may send the wrong signals, and your partner could easily manipulate you because they know you’ll accept whatever they offer, even if it comes with discomfort. You should know the qualities you want in a man or a woman and pursue those qualities. This will limit your chances of being used and dumped.

For instance, if you want a God-fearing man, you should avoid dating a playboy; if you want a decent woman, avoid dating someone who is more attracted to material things. If you know what you want from a relationship and actively seek those qualities, you can avoid being used and dumped.

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2. Pay Attention to the Red Flags.

No relationship is perfect, but there are certain red flags that indicate your partner may be using or deceiving you. When you notice these flags, you should reconsider the relationship without hesitation. The longer you stay in a relationship with a partner who exhibits terrible red flags, the higher your chances of being used and dumped.

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3. Don’t Love Too Much.

Do not love too much because the depth of your love today will determine the extent of your pain tomorrow. Avoid falling deeply in love, especially if the relationship is just a few months old. By following these tips, you will find it easier to move on if the relationship turns out to be bad for you. Most people remain stuck in a relationship because of love, even when they know it’s unhealthy. 

They can’t let go because of love, so if you don’t want to be like them, don’t love like them. Love differently, but not with everything. When people see that you’re deeply in love, they may try to toy with your emotions because they know you won’t let go. Unless you are sure the relationship is serious and committed, do not love deeply.

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4. Dump Them if They Can’t Let Go of Their Ex.

Many people go back to their ex after a heartbreak, even when they claim to have moved on with someone else. What if you are that “someone else” they move on with, yet they still can’t let go of their ex? If your partner isn’t ready to cut ties with their ex and block them, you might be wasting your time, and you could end up being used and dumped while they go back to their ex. If they’re secretly seeing their ex and you can confirm this, it may be time to reconsider the relationship before they deceive you further.

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5. They Only Call You When They Need You.

One of the most notable signs that you are being used in a relationship is when they only call you when they need something. They only remember your existence when they’re horny, hungry, or in an emergency. This shows they don’t truly want you in their life; they just need you for the moment, and very soon, they will dump you when they’re done with you. If you know what’s best for you, you should let them go; you deserve better.

How can you believe a man who is only sweet to you when he’s horny is serious about you? How can you trust a woman who only calls or gives you attention when she needs something from you? If you don’t remove these people from your life, they will use you, dump you, and leave you heartbroken.

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6. Cheating.

To avoid being used and dumped in a relationship, you should fulfill your role by being faithful and loyal to your partner. No matter how frustrated you feel, do not cheat on them because they may use that as an excuse to use you. In a relationship where both partners are loyal to each other without hiding any secrets, they are less likely to experience being used and dumped.

However, if you are dating a serial cheater who refuses to change, staying in such a relationship and expecting them to become faithful is likely a fantasy. If you notice your partner is still cheating on you despite your efforts, they are only using you, and you may be wasting your time. It’s unwise to stay in this type of relationship any longer because it will likely end in tears.

ALSO READ: How to Walk Away from a Relationship

7. Ask Them to Introduce You to Their Family.

Asking your partner to introduce you to their family and friends can be a smart way to avoid being used and dumped. Most people only introduce their partner when they are ready for something serious. However, do not rush to do this if the relationship is still new. But if the relationship is approaching two years or more, by now you ought to have met a few of their family members. 

This is very important in avoiding being used in a relationship. There have been cases where a man impregnates a woman and then disappears without a trace. If you don’t want this to happen to you, get to know each other’s families to determine if their family approves of you and to avoid wasting your time and being used.

ALSO READ: 10 Questions to Ask Your Ex Before Accepting Their Return to Your Life

8. Check Their Phone Occasionally.

Checking your partner’s phone is not the same as invading their privacy as long as it’s not done constantly. If they have nothing to hide, they won’t get mad at you. If your partner won’t allow you to touch their phone or has warned you never to go near it, they may just be using you and could dump you someday.

To avoid being used and dumped, share your passwords with each other, including your PINs and other things you have in common. This will boost trust and assure you that you are the only one they have.

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9. Never Go Back to an Ex.

If the relationship didn’t work the first time, there is no guarantee it will work this time. Going back to an ex just because of “love” without addressing the issues that broke you apart is not a wise decision. Your ex can deceive you with love just to continue sleeping with you, and when they are done, they will dump you again. If you are still sleeping with your ex, this is a clear sign that you are being used. Block them now before they ruin your life.

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10. Walk Away.

Walking away from a relationship is not easy if you genuinely love someone, but the moment you notice that a lot of damage has been done, you should leave the relationship without looking back. Of course, you will feel hurt, pained, and emotionally distressed for a while; all these feelings are normal, and you will heal as time goes on. It is better to walk away, move on, and heal from a broken heart than to be used and dumped in a relationship.

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11. Never Agree to Be an Option.

The moment you agree to be a second choice for someone, you have already put yourself in a position to be used and dumped. You know you are not the only person they’re dating, so you should be aware that one day they might leave you for their first choice. If you are double dating or dating someone who double dates, they might use you and dump you while deceiving you with love. If they find it difficult to choose you or figure out what they want, it’s best to discontinue the relationship to avoid being used and dumped.

ALSO READ: 15 Signs Your Relationship Is Damaged Beyond Repair

12. They’re Frustrating Every Effort to Fix the Relationship.

Have you been trying to fix the problems in your relationship, but nothing is changing? No improvement, but you keep hoping that they will cooperate with you someday. Unfortunately, that day you are waiting for may come with the disappointment of seeing their wedding photos with someone else. If someone has made it clear that you can’t be together or that they are no longer interested in the relationship, you should respect their decision and move on with your life.

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13. Do Not Move Into a Man’s House.

Spending time together is crucial for relationships, but avoid moving into your boyfriend’s apartment, especially if the relationship is still fresh. Moving into a man’s house can attract disrespect and lead to marathon sex, after which they might use you and send you packing when they’re done. If you want to create respect for yourself, don’t make this mistake.

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14. Build Your Relationship Before Involving Sex.

Sex is important in relationships as it strengthens the bond between lovers. However, avoid sleeping with a man on the first date, as that can create a bad impression of you being cheap, and men might take advantage of that to use you and dump you afterward. Protect your private parts and ensure they aren’t accessed cheaply because that’s where value comes from.

ALSO READ: How to Avoid Fights in a Relationship: 15 Ways

15. Getting Pregnant for a Man Who Isn’t Married to You.

To avoid being used and dumped in a relationship, do not agree to the concept of getting pregnant outside marriage. Some guys might deceive you with love and convince you to get pregnant for them while promising you the world. If you believe them, they might abandon you and your child when you need them the most. If he wants a child, tell him to marry you officially.

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Other Ways to Avoid Being Used and Dumped in a Relationship:

  • Prioritize visiting your partner unannounced sometimes.
  • Make sure you know where they live and check up on them regularly.
  • Investigate their source of income and what they do for a living to ensure you are not being played.
  • Never cheat on your partner. This could trigger them to take revenge and dump you.
  • When you notice a relationship is not healthy for you, walk away.
  • Never share your nudes with anyone, no matter how much you love them. They could use that to take advantage of you. Be wise.

ALSO READ: How to Ask for Space in a Relationship


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Comrade 9ja A.k.a 9jaPoly is A passionate Reporter that provides complete, accurate and compelling coverage of both anticipated and spontaneous News across all Nigerian polytechnics and universities campuses. 9jaPoly Started his career as a blogger and campus reporter in 2016.He loves to feed people with relevant Info. He is a polytechnic graduate (HND BIOCHEMISTRY). POLY TV is a relationship expert, life coach and polytechnic education consultant. Apart from blogging, He love watching movies and meeting with new people to share ideas with. Add 9jaPoly on WhatsApp +2347040957598 to enjoy more of his Updates and Articles.

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