RELATIONSHIP

How to Ask for Space in a Relationship

Sometimes, we just want to be alone to sort out the challenges we’re going through in our lives. To ensure these challenges do not affect our relationship, asking for space might be the best approach.

Perhaps in a relationship that has experienced several breakups and make-ups, asking for space may be necessary to reflect on whether the relationship is best for you.

Whatever the reason you need space in your relationship, here are eight(8) simple ways to ask for space from your spouse without hurting their feelings and in a way that promotes understanding and maintains the integrity of your relationship.

How to Ask for Space in a Relationship Without Hurting Their Feelings:

1. Ask Yourself Why You Need Space in the Relationship.

Before you go ahead and demand space, you should sit down and think about whether asking for space is necessary for both of you. Why do you need space, and what exact reasons do you have?

Are you going through financial challenges? Spiritual challenges? Health challenges or relationship issues? Have you discussed these issues with your partner? They might offer you emotional support during this difficult time and work with you to fix the relationship and address what you may be going through.

Do not ask for space in a relationship if you don’t understand what exactly you want or why the space is important, as doing so can damage your relationship. You should ask yourself these questions, and if you can provide genuine answers, then you may proceed.

2. Communicate with Your Partner.

Now that you know why you want space, the next step is to break the news to your spouse. Make sure your partner is in a good mood before breaking the news to them. You can ask to see them in person and explain everything to them.

Tell them exactly why you need space in the relationship and that you would appreciate their support during this difficult time. Example:

“Hi sweetheart, I hope you are doing well. I have something important to discuss with you. I know this may hurt you, but I need your cooperation at this time.”

“I need space in this relationship. I’m going through financial and health challenges and need some time alone to face this on my own without distraction.”

“Please, this is not a breakup; I just want to be alone to sort out this issue, and I would appreciate it if you could respect my decision.”

3. Talk About the Space You Need.

There are different types of space in a relationship. Talk about what exactly you want. Will you still continue to communicate during the period of space? Some couples may stop calling or texting each other if one partner asks for space. Be sure that is what you really want. Giving space could mean telling your partner to stop visiting you unannounced until further notice. It could be a temporary break where you stop talking and seeing each other. So, make sure you make your intentions clear.

4. Listen to Your Partner.

When asking for space in a relationship, your spouse may disagree with you. Try to listen to them and see things from their perspective. Understand that they might feel hurt or confused. Be patient and ready to listen to their feelings as well. Perhaps their reaction and what they say can give you insight into what to do or how to handle the situation.

5. Apologize and Offer Reassurance.

This depends on why you want space in the relationship. You may need to apologize to your significant other if this decision hurts their feelings and offer reassurance. Assure them this isn’t the end of your relationship and that you only need space to think clearly or fix things. Ask them to trust and believe in you.

6. Tell Them When You Will be Back.

When asking for space in a relationship, you should open up to your spouse and be sincere about how long you will be away. If appropriate, suggest a timeline for when you can reconnect. This shows that you’re not shutting them out completely. You may ask for a one-month to three-month break, depending on the situation. For instance, if you need space due to relationship issues, you can ask for a one or two-month break to reflect on whether you are still interested in the relationship.

For example, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something important. I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and I think I need some time to myself to recharge. I want you to know this isn’t about you—I really value our relationship. Can we talk again by this time next week?”

“Hi honey, I want to discuss something important with you. I want a three-week break to focus on my exams. This isn’t about you; I cherish our relationship. Please, can we talk after the exams?”

“Hi honey, I’m sorry to say this, but I need some space in this relationship to clear my head. This space has nothing to do with you. I just want to be alone for now. I will call you back when I’m ready to talk about this.”

7. Check Up on Your Partner Once in a While.

Asking for space sometimes can result in mood swings and confusion from your spouse, so you should check up on them once in a while and appreciate their patience and understanding. If they call you, try to pick up and respond politely. “Thanks for calling me; it means a lot to me during this difficult time. I appreciate your patience and commitment to our relationship. I will return your call when I’m emotionally stable again.”

8. Express Your Feelings.

When asking for space in a relationship, express your feelings to each other and make sure both of you are on the same page. Let them know that your need for space doesn’t mean you care any less about them. You could say, “This isn’t about you; it’s about me needing some time to focus on myself.”

9. Reevaluate the Relationship.

After taking some space, reevaluate how you feel about the relationship. Did the time apart help you gain clarity? Do you feel more connected to yourself and your partner? Use this reflection to communicate openly with your partner about the next steps in your relationship.

I want space because of problems in my relationship.

Taking space in a relationship cannot fix the problem. What you are running from will still be there, waiting for you upon your return. Instead of asking for space, you should focus on communicating and expressing your feelings to resolve things together by listening to each other. Asking for space or taking a temporary break can damage your relationship. It’s better to sit down and work through the issue together.

I’m going through financial challenges. Can I ask for space?

Asking for space in a relationship due to financial difficulties can be a wise decision, but it’s not necessarily the best approach. You should discuss your financial concerns with your partner instead. Make them aware of your financial situation so they won’t feel like you’re trying to avoid your responsibilities. If, after expressing yourself clearly, your partner continues to burden you financially, you can consider asking for space to focus on achieving financial stability.

ALSO READ: What to do when your Boyfriend or Girlfriend asks you to give them space or go on a break