What to Do When You Are Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

To some people, the idea of feeling lonely in a relationship might seem strange. How can you feel alone when you’re deeply in love with someone? The truth is, we can feel lonely regardless of who is around us. Feeling alone in a relationship can result from various factors. In this article, we discuss the possible causes of loneliness in a relationship and what to do about it.

Causes and Signs of Loneliness in a Relationship

The idea of being lonely in a relationship can arise from different factors. Recognizing the source of your loneliness in the relationship is a key step in overcoming the situation.

1. Lack of Communication and Attention.

Lack of communication and attention from your partner can lead to feelings of loneliness in a relationship, especially in a long-distance relationship where your partner seems uninterested in staying in touch. When communication breaks down, one partner may feel neglected, particularly when there’s a desire to talk, but no one is there to listen or share concerns.

2. Social Media.

Comparing your relationship with what you see on social media can lead to loneliness. Seeing videos of happy couples can make you wish your partner were around to recreate those moments, which can intensify feelings of isolation.

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3. No Quality Time Together.

When was the last time you spent time with your partner? If it has been a while since you hung out together, you might need more social connections outside your relationship.

4. Your Partner’s Behavior.

Your loneliness may also stem from your partner’s behavior or attitude toward you. Perhaps if they are toxic or difficult to reconnect with emotionally.

5. Trust Issues.

Trust is an essential aspect of any relationship. You may feel lonely if you believe you can’t trust your partner. Trust issues can emerge if your partner has broken your trust or has a history of trust issues in past relationships.

What to Do When You Are Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

If you are feeling lonely in a relationship, consider taking these steps:

1. Communicate Your Feelings.

Your partner deserves to know what you’re going through. If you need more attention and quality time, let them know. If your loneliness is due to your partner avoiding physical contact, communicate your feelings and listen to their perspective.

“My relationship had been going smoothly, and everything was fine until I started feeling lonely. This was because I’m an introvert, and my partner is very busy with school. I called her to express my feelings, and fortunately, she made time for me. We went on a date, spent quality time together, and stayed in touch through regular calls and chats. I started feeling loved again, and the feelings of loneliness disappeared.” Open and honest communication can help overcome feelings of loneliness.

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2. Your Friends Are Always There for You.

It’s normal to feel lonely at times, especially when communication in your relationship dwindles. In such moments, remember that your family and friends will always be there for you. Instead of focusing solely on your relationship, spend time with loved ones. Good friends will always be supportive, even if months or years have passed without contact.

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3. Get Yourself Busy.

Keep your hands occupied. Staying productive can help eliminate feelings of loneliness. Whether it’s learning a new skill, engaging in a hobby, exercising, or acquiring new knowledge, staying busy will gradually diminish thoughts of loneliness.

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4. Don’t Assume You’re Understood.

You’re likely not dating a mind reader, yet we often assume others know what we need or what hurts us—especially a long-term partner or spouse. Calmly and gently ask for what you need. Once your partner understands your needs, they can better comfort you, reducing your emotional loneliness.

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5. Take a Break from Social Media.

Social media may only worsen feelings of loneliness, particularly if you find yourself comparing your relationship to others. Take a break from social media for a few weeks or months to detox. This time away might help you focus more on your relationship and make improvements with your partner.

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6. Spend More Time with Your Partner.

Spending time with your partner gives them the opportunity to comfort you. Moreover, if your loneliness stems from relationship issues, quality time and open conversations can help resolve the problem. Your partner’s words and support might offer much-needed relief.

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7. Normalize Being Happy Alone.

Learning to be content on your own is a crucial part of overcoming loneliness. This helps build emotional resilience. Besides, your happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else. When you feel lonely, engage in activities like exercising, watching movies, doing chores, or taking walks. Treat your alone time as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Remind yourself that being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely.

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8. Reflect on the Relationship.

While it’s normal to feel lonely in a relationship, if your partner’s behavior is the primary cause, let them know how your loneliness is affecting you. Speak honestly about your feelings and be vulnerable. Avoid placing blame and focus on your personal experiences and emotions. However, if after expressing your feelings nothing changes, it may be time to reflect on whether this relationship is right for you.

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9. Set Goals Together.

You can set goals with your partner and work toward them as a team. Doing so can foster a sense of purpose and direction in the relationship. Whether it’s financial goals, vacation plans, or career aspirations, setting goals together can strengthen your bond.

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10. Try New Things Together.

Exploring new activities or experiences as a couple can create shared memories and deepen your connection. You could take a class together, start a new hobby, or travel to a new destination.

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