Love, Trust, and Heartbreak: Answers to Your Anonymous Messages for 1st – 4th April 2025

1. Lol you never enter school and nah marriage dey your mind?  

Isn’t that a misplaced priority and wasting your parents funds? You want to live together with a boyfriend because of love? Person wey no get savings. If you do this, Your life go just spoil, you will cry and cry and nobody will be there to wipe your tears when the consequences comes.

See as single mothers plenty full everywhere, you can go ahead if you also want to join them but if you don’t want to be used and dumped, you better don’t! Them send you go school, you never resume and you dey talk about living with boyfriend. Don’t dare make this Mistake. I repeat don’t try such.

Wait! Are you not the lady that was here two weeks ago claiming your long distance relationship boyfriend lacks financial management and his phone is always on airplane when together, I could remember lots of people advising you then to throw him away. If you are the same person that sent this again. I will come to the conclusion that “Advising a woman in love is a complete waste of time”  We already advised you what to do then, how’s this edition coming up? What is the essence of taking counseling when none is implemented? 

Don’t worry you will learn very soon, that love wey blind your eyes go open when the time comes. If you like no wake up carry love for head like plantain. We already told you what to do earlier I suggest you revisit except if this is a different person which I doubt.

2.  If I tell you I caught your partner in hotel sleeping with someone else and you fight me to keep shut telling me “I trust my partner S/he will never do that” 

Even when your partner is staying faraway, you still never doubt them or think they might be having secret affair. Even when third parties are saying something suspicious about your partner and you ignored for example, your friends saying “Do you know that your boyfriend is doing where he is?” and you replied “It’s none of your business, I trust my man”

When you believe everything your partner say without doubts. That’s trust. When you feel safe around them. When you can trust them with your deepest secrets.  When you feel secured in your relationship. When you allow them to mingle with friends and associate with others without doubts. That trust.  When everyone keeps saying men are scum, women are evil but you countered with “I trust my man” “My woman is different” That’s trust!

3.  Your ex that was friendly, where is she today? We all can’t be the same and  perhaps nothing is as sweet as being yourself.

As long as your woman is good for you, that’s fine. Marry someone who is good for you, not someone who is good for your parents, or friends because in the end, she will live with you for the rest of your life not with your parents. When it comes to choosing life partner, your happiness should comes first over that of your parents.

What is the solution?

Always defend your girlfriend before your parents. If they say she’s not friendly, tell them, “She’s just too shy that she’s very friendly oo but shy in fact that’s what I love about her unlike my ex that talks too much and still cheated on me despite being friendly” It is your responsibility to defend your woman among your family and friends and in public. When they see that you are serious, they will leave you alone. Always behave like a man and not like a mama’s boy.

However, in private, correct her. They want her to be friendly right? How? In what aspect? If she doesn’t greet everyone maybe you should tell her to greet everyone when she’s around.

Nevertheless, remember your girlfriend is not your ex, so there shouldn’t be any comparison in relationship. As long as she’s good, responsible and trying her best, respect her and do defend her. Nobody is ‘complete’ 

Additionally, you can encourage her to communicate with members of the family virtually. How? She should collect their WhatsApp number and chat them and greet once in a while. She should also call your parents once in a while with “I just want to greet you sir, how’s mummy and everyone” etc from there, she will get blended into the family small small. Respect her uniquenes and do defend her. Good luck.

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5. I wish you both best of luck! ❤️❤️🙏

6. If your relationship is getting serious please don’t skip this, read before proposing to a woman:

5 Things You Must Do Before Proposing Marriage to a Woman

7. If this is her first time of visiting, I don’t expect much complain. Here are my reasons:

1.  Your mom wanted to cook to entertain and your friend girlfriend collected the ingredient, so I think the best way to handle that competition is for her to lend hands in the kitchen like helping with water or other stuff. This is not a family gathering or party. It’s a visit in which your girlfriend too wasn’t expecting your friend girlfriend.  So she had maintain some space because the other lady is already on it.

Were you expecting her to be dragging the ingredients with your friend’s babe? No! also she could just lend little hands as support but she can’t take the lead role since the other has volunteered.

Also I can’t judge by who first volunteered because I wasn’t there, I didn’t know who arrived first, I also don’t know if it’s your girlfriend first time visit as she might be picturing the right time to blend in. 

Also, it is not wrong to stand provided she was in the kitchen and didn’t sat down while the other girl was working. The other lady has taken the role so I believe she did what she had to do. This isn’t competition.

If this is her first time, no complain! Needed instead you can just communicate with her and ask her why she didn’t volunteered for the cooking then listen to her perspective. Hearing her perspective is important in understanding her intentions for standing. 

If I was in her shoes, I could have stand too and help with other stuffs in the kitchen.