When love is tested by sickness, what happens next can reveal more about us than the vows we make. Imagine standing by someone you care about—until their health starts to crumble. Suddenly, the promises, the dreams, and even your patience feel different.

Is it selfish to walk away? Or is it a silent act of survival no one dares to admit? This is one of those questions people judge from a distance—until it hits home. Let’s talk about the hard truths no one wants to say out loud. At the end of this article, you should have your answer.

Things to Consider First:

1. What sickness are they battling with, and are they honest with you about it?

What type of health challenges is your partner battling with? Some health conditions are manageable while some can be complicated. Knowing the exact medical condition they are facing can help you make the right decision, especially figuring out whether you can live with them and manage the sickness together for the rest of your life.

Also, is your partner honest with you about their health condition or did you get to find out by circumstance? If your partner isn’t honest with you about their health condition, yes, your reasons to break up with them are valid because love alone won’t be enough in the long run. Relationships are built on honesty and trust. And if they can’t be honest with you about their health, it would be difficult for you to trust them.

ALSO READ: Is Going Back to an Ex a Good Idea? What you Should Know Before Going Back to an Ex After a Breakup

2. See a doctor together

After communicating with your partner and recognizing their health challenges, it is important to see a doctor together for medical advice, perhaps to know what to expect in the future if you eventually marry them. Some health challenges get worse with time or age, while some are treatable.

So, before you break up with your spouse, you should talk to a doctor and ask questions that make you feel concerned. Their response will give you insight into whether it is worth it to continue with the relationship.

ALSO READ: The 12 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP (Check out the category you belong)

3. Can you cope?

The question to you now is, can you cope with these health challenges? Can you live with them for the rest of your life if things never get better? Will you be there for them and love them genuinely even with their health conditions?

If the answer to these questions is no, then it’s okay to let go. Remember, some health challenges are manageable but can come with frustration and emotional stress at times. For example, dating a man with erectile dysfunction problems—although you might love him, will you be able to cope with his manhood weakness? Can you accept the fact that he would never last beyond two minutes in bed, and will you ever be comfortable with that?

The answer to this question will give you insight into whether to part ways or support them in moving the relationship forward.

For instance, a woman diagnosed with PCOS might experience irregular periods and childbirth problems. As her boyfriend, it is important to weigh the risk. If you can cope with it, there’s no need for a breakup, but if you can’t, it’s best to move on with your life.

ALSO READ: 6 Reasons Why It Is Unhealthy to Be Friends With Your Ex

4. Support them and be there for them

Sometimes, life happens to us. Remember, they didn’t create themselves that way; it just happened. And while it is your sole responsibility and personal decision to choose who to spend the rest of your life with—even if it can’t be that sick person—show them support and be there for them while the relationship lasts. Even if you can’t marry them, your support toward their healing and recovery can make a difference.

Some of the best ways to support them include telling them everything will be alright, encouraging them to take their drugs and go for medical checkups regularly. Go to the hospital with them and see the doctor together. You may support them financially for surgery, drugs, therapy, or treatment depending on the health challenges they are battling with.

ALSO READ: How Do You Date a Church Girl? Tips for Dating a Church Girl

5. Let them know where you stand

Love is a beautiful thing, but love out of pity is not a beautiful thing. As I’ve mentioned in the previous points above, if you won’t be able to cope or manage their health challenges with them, let them know your intentions—whether you are building something serious for long-term commitment or it’s just for the moment. Besides, when you are honest with your intentions, nobody will judge you because everyone has his or her life choices. But you may encounter problems if you give them false hope of marrying them just to make them feel better even when that wasn’t your true intention.

ALSO READ: Is Dating Your Best Friend a Good Idea? The Benefits and What to Expect

Is It Okay to Break Up?

While it might sound discriminatory to break up, there is nothing wrong in breaking up with someone over health concerns. Here are some of the reasons why it’s not wrong:

1. Life span

People with health challenges, especially those diagnosed with chronic diseases, often face a short life span, and some are bedridden over time. It is not wrong to break up with them over health issues. We all pray to have someone to grow old with, but health issues can reduce one’s life span and make that vision impossible.

2. Financial emergencies

People facing health challenges are always in need of money to manage their health—from medical checkups to surgery, treatment, drugs, and therapy. This alone can be a financial burden on you as a partner, especially if you’re both not financially stable. Thus, your reasons for wanting to break up are valid.

ALSO READ: Lists of The Courses Offered in Federal College of Forestry Jos (FCF JOS) and Their School Fees

3. Shifted responsibilities

Responsibilities can be shifted onto you due to your spouse’s health challenges. For instance, maybe he used to work in the army—he may be forced to retire early, and running the home affairs alone won’t be easy. Imagine taking care of a sick husband or wife, the children, and also working to get money to finance the family.

If this is one of the reasons why you feel like breaking up, your reasons are valid because marriage is more of a responsibility than just love, and chronic health conditions can affect taking responsibility.

ALSO READ: How to Turn the Talking Stage into a Real Relationship

4. Sexual problems

Some health conditions can affect sexual life, thereby reducing the intimacy between you and your partner. Maybe you’d love to have sex twice a week—it could reduce to a month or once in a blue moon due to their health problems. Although there might be other ways to manage the problem together, it may ignite frustration and cheating, especially for people who are sexually active. Yes, it is normal to break up with someone over health issues if it’s going to affect your sexual life and you know you won’t be able to cope with that.

ALSO READ: 17 Signs of a Selfish Boyfriend and How to Deal with Them

How Do I Know if My Partner’s Health Issues Are a Reason to End the Relationship?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. You might want to consider factors like your emotional capacity to provide support, your partner’s willingness to work through challenges together, and how their health affects your own well-being.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope, it’s essential to assess whether this is something that can be managed together or if both parties would be better off apart.

Nevertheless, to know if your partner’s health issues are a reason to end the relationship, please talk to a doctor or physician for medical advice to know if it’s best to part ways. Some health conditions are manageable, while some are not. Talking to a doctor will give you full insight into the way forward. For example, medical conditions like PCOS, diabetes, malaria, fever, appendix, erectile dysfunction, body odour, asthma, headaches can be managed. Thus, you should talk to a doctor to know whether you can manage them or it’s best to part ways.

ALSO READ: Signs You Are Pregnant: How to Recognize the Early Signs of Pregnancy

Can Health Issues in a Relationship Be Overcome?

Yes, many relationships can overcome health issues with effective communication, support, and patience. However, both partners must be willing to work through challenges. If one person is unwilling or unable to contribute to the relationship’s needs, or if the relationship is becoming toxic due to the stress of the health issue, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

What Should I Do if My Partner’s Health Issue Is Affecting My Mental or Emotional Well-Being?

If you’re struggling with the impact of your partner’s health on your mental or emotional well-being, it’s important to seek help. This could involve speaking with a therapist or counselor, finding ways to manage your own stress, and setting boundaries in the relationship. It’s important to recognize that taking care of your mental health is equally important in any relationship.

ALSO READ: Common Mistakes People Make When Texting on Dating Apps

How Do I Talk to My Partner About Ending the Relationship Due to Health Issues?

Having an honest, compassionate conversation is the best approach. Express your feelings and concerns without placing blame. Acknowledge their struggles, and let them know that your decision is not a reflection of their worth but rather a realization about your ability to continue in the relationship under the circumstances. Be prepared for a range of emotions and reactions, and allow for an open dialogue.

ALSO READ: How to Cope with the Emotional Pain of Breaking Up with Your Ex

Can Breaking Up Over Health Issues Be Seen as Selfish?

It’s understandable to feel guilty about such a decision, but it’s important to recognize that your well-being matters too. If staying in the relationship is emotionally or physically draining, it’s not selfish to prioritize your own health and happiness. Relationships should be mutual and sustainable for both individuals, and sometimes that means making tough decisions for the betterment of both parties. Remember, certain illnesses or health issues are hereditary, meaning your children may inherit the sickness from their parents. So putting your future into consideration above your feelings isn’t selfishness.

I Love My Partner and I Don’t Want to Leave Them

If you truly love your spouse and are not interested in leaving them despite their health challenges, then support them. Join hands together and discuss how to work things out. There are many relationships and marriages that have survived various health challenges—you are not alone. Communicate with them and seek help together. Good luck.

ALSO READ:” How to Manage Pregnancy and Study Together: 11 Tips to Cope with Pregnancy and School