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How to Support Your Man in Wedding Preparation: Tips for Wedding Planning Together

So, your wedding is around the corner, and all the necessary arrangements have been made, but you still want to support your partner in one way or another without placing all the responsibilities or expenses on him. This article provides valuable insights into various ways you can assist your partner in your wedding preparations, both financially and emotionally.

How to Assist Your Partner in Wedding Preparations

1. Communicate Your Intentions

If you wish to assist your partner with wedding preparations, the first step is to communicate your intentions. Ask questions like, “What can I do to help?” or inquire about specific aspects where your support would be most beneficial. His response will guide you in determining how to assist. Open discussions encourage him to share his thoughts, fostering collaboration.

For instance, he may have strong opinions about the guest list, music, or catering. Understanding his priorities allows you to divide tasks based on interests and strengths, preventing misunderstandings later.

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2. Buy Your Wedding Gown Yourself

You can support your partner by paying for your wedding gown or traditional attire (“Aso Ebi”) instead of shifting all financial responsibilities onto him. This gesture will significantly reduce his financial burden.

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3. Plan Together and Share the Expenses

Another great way to support your partner is to plan everything together and share the expenses. You could agree to cover 30–40% of the total cost while he covers 60–70%. For example, if the wedding budget is one million naira, you could offer to contribute 300,000 naira while he handles the rest. Doing this will undoubtedly make him feel supported.

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4. Appeal to Your Family to Be Considerate

Appeal to your family to reduce their demands for the “bride price” to make it more affordable for your partner. For instance, if your parents are considering requesting 100 tubers of yam as part of the bride price, you could negotiate for a reduction to 50 tubers to ease the financial burden on him.

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5. Opt for a Low-Key Wedding

Support your partner by planning a wedding within your means. Instead of insisting on an extravagant event, consider more affordable options, such as hosting the wedding at your family’s compound instead of renting a hall or selecting budget-friendly attire and decorations. Remember, an expensive wedding does not guarantee a long-lasting marriage. Be considerate of his financial situation and avoid pressuring him to exceed his budget.

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6. Handle Refreshments and Souvenirs

Offer to cover the costs of refreshments and souvenirs. Items such as pens, notebooks, hand fans, tissue paper, and buckets are practical souvenirs for guests. Taking on these responsibilities will significantly reduce your partner’s financial obligations.

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7. Cover Transportation and Fuel Costs

Transportation logistics can be costly, especially with the rising cost of fuel. You can assist your partner by covering these expenses, which will alleviate some of the financial strain associated with wedding preparations.

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8. Pay for Photography and Video Coverage

Depending on your financial capacity, consider covering the costs of photography and video coverage. Many couples opt for pre-wedding photo and video shoots. Volunteering to handle these expenses is another meaningful way to support your partner.

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9. Delegate Tasks Aligned with His Strengths

When dividing responsibilities, consider your partner’s skills and interests. For example, if he enjoys food, assign him the task of menu selection or arranging tastings. If he is tech-savvy, he could manage online RSVPs or design a wedding website. Delegating tasks he enjoys will ensure his active participation and prevent burnout. Be prepared to offer guidance when needed to maintain balance.

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10. Attend Vendor Meetings Together

Attending vendor appointments as a couple helps ensure that both partners are equally invested in decisions. Whether meeting with a florist, photographer, or event planner, your partner’s input will help align decisions with shared preferences. If scheduling conflicts arise, delegate specific meetings to him, such as meeting the DJ or exploring tuxedo rental options.

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11. Be Patient with the Learning Curve

Wedding planning can be overwhelming, and your partner may need time to adapt to the process. Approach any mistakes or oversights with patience and constructive feedback rather than criticism. For example, if he forgets to confirm a booking, work together to resolve the issue. This approach strengthes teamwork and strengthens your relationship.

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12. Make Decisions as a Team

While it may be tempting to take control of the planning process, especially if you are detail-oriented, it is essential to involve your partner in major decisions. From selecting the venue to finalizing the guest list, ensure that decisions are made together. Collaborative decision-making ensures the wedding reflects both partners’ preferences and minimizes conflicts closer to the big day.

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13. Provide Emotional Support

Wedding planning can be stressful, and your partner may feel overstressed. Offer emotional support by listening to his concerns and reassuring him during challenging moments. Small gestures, like a coffee break or a thoughtful note, can remind him that you are in this together.

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14. Involve His Friends and Family

Encourage the involvement of your partner’s friends and family in areas where they can contribute. For example, his best man could assist with transportation logistics or organize the bachelor party. However, set boundaries to ensure that external input does not overshadow your shared vision.

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15. Focus on the Bigger Picture

At its core, a wedding celebrates your relationship and the start of a new chapter. Remind each other that the details are secondary to the joy of uniting as a couple. Maintaining this perspective will help you navigate challenges with a positive attitude.

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Can I Assist My Partner with Paying the Bride Price?

Although traditionally, the bride price is paid by the groom, you can assist financially if the expenses become a burden for him. There is no harm in doing so, as long as you are not shouldering all the costs. Before offering assistance, ensure you communicate with your partner to understand his perspective and make decisions collaboratively.

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