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Ex-Partner or Friend Threatening You? Here’s How to Handle Blackmail Safely

You never imagined it would come to this. The person who once knew your secrets, shared your happiest moments, and promised to have your back is now holding something over your head. Whether it’s an ex-partner or an old friend, blackmail is a shocking betrayal that can leave you feeling powerless, panicked, and isolated.

But here’s the truth: you have more control than you think.

In this article, we’ll break down exactly what to do if you find yourself in this nightmare scenario—how to protect yourself legally, emotionally, and digitally, and how to regain your peace of mind. Because no one deserves to be manipulated by someone they once trusted.

1. Threaten Them Back

One of the first steps in dealing with an ex-lover who keeps on spreading lies about you or threatening to release your private tapes is to threaten them back. Don’t handle this with a soft heart; otherwise, they will see you as weak and won’t back off anytime soon.

For instance, if the blackmailer happens to be your ex-boyfriend, call him and warn him that should he dare release your private tapes or continue spreading lies against you, there will be consequences.

“Let this be the first and the last time you will call me to threaten me. I have details of all our conversations recorded, and if anything happens to me, you will be held responsible.”

“I have reported you to SCID and the police. All our conversations are being monitored. If you don’t stop this propaganda, they will pick you up, and you’ll have to chill for some time in prison eating free beans. I promise you that.”

Additionally, let your ex know that you have reported the issue to influencers and blogs. Should he dare continue to damage your reputation, his own reputation too would be in jeopardy.

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2. Don’t Pay Them or Agree to Their Terms

When an ex-partner or someone you once flirted with keeps spreading lies about you or threatening to release your nudes, it could be because they want to extort you, sleep with you, or take revenge by making you suffer. Whatever the reason for spreading rumors or threatening you with your private tapes, do not agree to their terms; otherwise, it will continue nonstop.

If an ex threatens to share your nudes with your current lover unless you send money or agree to their terms, tell them there will be consequences if they dare do that. Block them immediately so they won’t be able to contact you further. When your ex sees that you don’t give a damn about their threats, they might back down.

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3. Report to Family and Friends

There was once a time when things were cool between you and your ex. During those times, you should have known a few of their friends or family members. Try to get their contacts and inform them about the threats. Hopefully, their friends or family can help your ex stop the propaganda against you.

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4. If the Blackmailer Is Your Friend, See Them One on One

If the person spreading lies about you happens to be your friend, see them face-to-face and have a conversation with them. Ask them, “Why are you doing this?” Then give them the warning of their life—that if they continue spoiling you and backstabbing you, you will be forced to do the same, and they will regret it.

For instance, if your friend is spreading lies that you are into hookups, which isn’t true, you can inform their friends about the intimidation and threats you are going through. Their intervention might be helpful. Nevertheless, make sure you confront the person face-to-face and warn them to stop. If not, you will involve the police, and you won’t mind going to any length to ensure you get justice.

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5. Report to Law Enforcement

Blackmailing someone is a criminal offense with serious consequences. If your ex is threatening you with your nudes or spreading rumors about you, engage the police. Walk into any nearby police station and make an official statement. Take a picture and send it to them showing you have reported the issue. This might scare them from threatening you further.

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6. Open Up to Someone You Trust

If your ex is threatening to release your nudes to your current lover, open up to someone you trust. Their advice might be useful in dealing with the threats. It might also be a wise decision to open up to your partner about the issue. It’s better for your partner to know now than to find out later. Explain everything to them; perhaps their cooperation will be helpful in dealing with the threats together.

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7. Call Them Out on Social Media

Social media has been a safe haven for people facing intimidation and oppression. If an ex-lover is threatening you with blackmail, call them out on social media and let the public know what you are going through. You might get help from there.

A lot of people have died in silence from depression because they’re afraid of speaking up. If you want to deal with this threat, you could call them out on social media so people who know them in person will pressure them to stop.

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8. Focus on Healing, Not Shame

You didn’t do anything wrong by trusting someone. The shame belongs to the blackmailer, not you. Focus on self-care and emotional recovery. You’re surviving a violation—give yourself grace.

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9. Stay Calm

Avoid blaming yourself or hurting yourself. Stay calm and be strong. If you can stay calm and be patient, you will overcome this threat.

10. Collect and Secure Evidence

Take screenshots of messages, threats, and profiles. Save emails. Don’t delete anything. This is critical if you need to report the crime later. Backup files to a secure location—preferably offline or on an encrypted drive.

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11. Secure Your Online Presence

Change passwords on all your accounts, especially social media and cloud storage. Activate two-factor authentication. Review your friend lists and privacy settings. Make sure the blackmailer has minimal access to your life.

12. Report and Block

Block them on all platforms after collecting evidence. Then, report the threat to the platform they’re using (Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, etc.). Many platforms take blackmail seriously and may suspend or ban their accounts.

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13. Engage Your Lawyer and File a Lawsuit

If steps 1-12 do not yield any positive results—that is, if your ex keeps on threatening you to do their will—engage your lawyer and file a lawsuit against your ex or friends defaming or threatening you. They will be apprehended and made to face justice.

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