ANONYMOUS

From My Inbox: Answering Your Anonymous Therapy Questions, Confessions (March 2025)

Anonymous1Anonymous1

Everything is wrong here bro. Love is not blind, love see clearly. You could see clearly that it is wrong and it is wrong, asking for people’s opinion doesn’t invalid that. How could you imagine of having an affair with your own family cycle? Nah wetin dey spoil family be this nah. Only a man without shame would do this. Maybe when you have a family of your own, you would understand my point better till then refrain from this immoral affair.

2. Talking Stage

No!

Talking stage is the early stage of a relationship. A good talking stage means an official relationship may be on the way. Some signs of a good talking stage include: communication, attention and getting to know each other better.

Talking stage is when a man collect your number, and starts chasing you with love or proposes loves to you and perhaps if you like him too, then you begin to ask questions like his name, what he does for a living, where he schools, his qualifications, likes and dislikes, you could go on date but in Nigeria at times, he might invite you to his house to have discussion from there how he treats you will give you insight whether to give him a chance. That’s what talking stage means. Talking stage indicates that you are not in a relationship yet but about to start your love journey.

Talking stage means getting to know someone you are into better.

Not all talking stage leads to relationship. Some relationships died at the talking stage especially when one notice the red flags early. For example, a man you just met yesterday asking you out and saying things like “I just want to eat you, I want to taste your boob’s” you could see his intentions already and might cut him off at that stage without going into a relationship with him.

Talking stage is the first stage of a relationship when you are trying to get to know each other better..

3. It’s normal to feel that way…

How to kill the shy:

Collect her mom number and call her once in a while for example “Good evening Mir how are you doing, it’s me 9ja, I just want to say hello and greet you, how’s everybody mir” Do that often, from there you will relate gradually this will reduce the shyness because you are already relating with them. And when you finally decide to visit her read this 👇 How to Behave When You Visit your in-laws for the First Time to impress Them

4. This sounds like a Long distance Relationship

This sounds like long distance relationship, if it is long distance relationship where you school in different place, the truth is no be only you get that babe. You seems not to understand women, they use manipulation and playing victim card to shift responsibilities and she played her card right here because instead of explaining herself nah you still dey beg her. .

I guess you meant to type “she has never for once cheat for the past 3 years”

Lol, says who? Don’t you know signs of cheating? Let me help you list some. When a woman is cheating on you,

She will start hiding things from you
Her phone will be on airplane mode, switch off when she’s with you
She would delete some of her chats so you won’t see them. You will notice most of her messages are cleared
Suspicious call logs and messages. Check her most contacted calls and you will see the fool you are defending
Strange attitudes. She’s giving you strange attitudes because she can’t give two guys attention at the same time.
She’s playing victim card so you won’t investigate the guy you found suspicious
Sex. Your sex life could reduce or she starts limiting sex with you.
She won’t allow you touch her phone

If you notice the above signs, no be only you get that babe

In conclusion, my question to you is, the guy you found with her? You haven’t talked about it? Haven’t you demand for explanation since a week now? You didn’t collect her phone to check thoroughly? Stop being a simp, you shouldn’t be the one begging bro. Call her, sit her down and investigate that guy and ask for explanation. If she starts shifting blames or not ready to talk about it, I may think you wasted 3 years on nothing. I could recommend you throw her away but first sit her and tell it out, if it appears that she’s hiding things or cheating secretly and not ready to explain herself, fling her make she go marry the guy.

5. There is no specific time range for sex in a relationship

It depends on you, what you want, your goals, the the man’s personality and your core values. Some women could wait for many months or years to study the man before saying yes or no while some will intentionally say no first and see if the guy is serious about them. My advice is, pay attention to the little signs at the talking stage and use that to figure out if you are good to go. Just pay attention to the man’s “consistency”

If it’s someone you don’t know, you can give a little time like weeks or months to watch his consistency and get to know each other better as that will give you insight on what to expect in the relationship. Please if you like a man and you want him, don’t hesitate to say yes to him. Avoid stressing him too much because that could discourage him from chasing you thinking you are not interested. If the guy has been consistent with you I think you should accept his proposal and take things to the next level.

How long? As long as it takes you to figure out that “this is what you really want and ready to pursue a relationship with him”

My advice: if you like a man and he’s been consistent with you, tell him yes and take things to the next level perhaps if you like his personality and the signs, say yes without prolonging or waiting further. Say yes when you finalize your decision of saying yes. There is no specific time frame for that. It depends on you, your readiness and the man’s intention. In conclusion, you can form hard to get by giving little time like a week or two or more just to study his intentions before saying yes.

6. Your mom is trying to manipulate you

Your mom is trying to manipulate you. Don’t buy that. Ignore her, if she stop accepting your money, stop giving her too. Focus on loving your family and offering help where necessary.

7. Why don’t you trust her? What she said about, is it true?

Read this 👇

How to Build Trust in a Relationship: 15 Easy Ways

8. She’s Gone Bro, let her Go.

If you read this my article 👇

10 Factors Affecting Relationships Negatively

If you read above article, I explained that change of environment affects relationship negatively, stop worrying yourself, she’s gone already. Find another woman. The fact that she’s traveling out of the country soon validates giving up. Besides, maybe nah her boyfriend house she dey wey she dey lie say she’s with her cousin.

“but since 2020 she never act this way”

Long distance relationship and deceit nah 5/6. It is easy to fool someone in LDR. How you wey dey Akure wan take know wetin dey go on for Lagos? The fact that she’s traveling out of the country is the main reason why you should forget about this girl. She’s gone already. Your brother has told you the truth.

9. You don’t take shit but this one nko?

“If we don’t end up together, I will end up as a reverend sister”

Isn’t that a low self esteem? You choose to settle for less even when you know you deserved better. Telling a man you would become a sister if he fail to marry you is like encouraging him to continue his unhealthy lifestyle because you have indirectly tell him that it’s him or nobody. You have devalued yourself and lowered your standards by your words even when you still have many years to go and just started your life journey.

What are you doing with a chronic womanizer? A man who has been damaged emotionally by previous relationships, using you and other women as revenge and shield for his broken family and past hurts and there you are acting like you lack love at home defending his misbehavior. What do you mean by “I believe It’s because of his past and broken family” Who doesn’t have past hurts? Must you suffer for what you know nothing about? If he’s yet to heal from his broken family and past relationships, then he should stay single.

Someone who came from a broken family should know better, instead of him to learn and build a strong family for himself rather he chooses a path of another broken family and you see the signs but because of small money he spend on you, you refused to see things the way they are.

Work on yourself and stand up for what you believe, don’t allow a relationship to damage your self esteem, mental health and value. No relationship should make you think “If I don’t marry you, I will become a sister” don’t you think you deserved better? Definitely this relationship has tempered with your mental health.

The advice you need now is to go and focus on your studies and write better CGPA so that your own life can get better, he has graduated and you have just started your own journey. You know the truth already, so tell yourself the truth, and make a decision of your own.

If you marry womanizer and two months after marriage, the same man will be disgracing you everywhere sleeping around then you will come to anonymous ranting saying you didn’t know your husband would turn this way but you could see the signs when you were dating? Didn’t you? You saw it but you wanted to be the lucky winner “our wife” whatever decision you make today be prepared for the consequences.

If this relationship is not healthy for you, you have the option to leave perhaps you deserve better. It’s not by force.

You can continue enjoying the money he spend on you while enduring the womanizing lifestyle, he will keep asking for more time and time probably till when you see his wedding photos and if you end up as the lucky winner, be prepared for other side chicks in your marriage. Love isn’t blind, the signs are always there nah you blind your own eyes

10. Be patient with him especially now that economy isn’t smiling.

Support your family and join hands together in building a good foundation. Remember, you both rushed things, and he also told you to keep it and he has been taking responsibility so it’s your turn to be a supportive spouse by being understanding and being patient.

Before you go to registry, your family may demand for bride price and other rites, so I think that might be what he’s considering for now, take a step at a time and don’t rush things.

Going to registry isn’t what you are both going to do alone, you need your family consent and approval and your family might insist paying bride price before signing the papers. For a man Who doesn’t have really much, I think you should give him time and not pressure. You can just be reminding him or start with introduction first let your family know him properly then you can do the rest small small

“I don’t just want to be giveaway wifey”

You already a giveaway wifey the day you got pregnant out of wedlock. There is no quick remedy to that than to be patient. No need to put pressure on him. Support him and join hands together, if you are both doing well financially, then talk to him to take things to the next level. First, you should speak to your family or parents about their say. Are they ready to sign the registry without him paying your full bride price and necessary rites?

Don’t put too much pressure on him, support each other. Not supporting his progress would affect your child’s progress too. If you don’t support his progress, do you think your man would be mentally stable to do the needful? You don’t want to be a supportive woman but you want him to be supportive? That’s not fair. Change your mindset so your family can thrive because a man settles where he finds peace and happiness, let him see the peace and happiness in you and he would be motivated to dwell here.

Be patient, don’t rush him, economy isn’t smiling and perhaps he’s taking responsibility so try to be understanding or ask him why he’s refusing? Listen to his excuses and see if they’re genuine. Everything no be by gra gra oo

If you got pregnant out of wedlock, that’s giveaway wifey already and you can’t force him to marry you officially if he’s not ready yet or if he’s not financially stable to pay bride price. Instead you should support each other and give your child a good life. You can do the registry later when you are both comfortable, mentally and financially stable. Don’t rush things or put pressure on him. Support each other for the benefit of your child. Good luck.

11. Lol 🌚🌚 the one he left in his office bag or office pack, what does he want to use it for abi you and your fiance dey knack for office?

If you have had sex with your boyfriend in his office before, that means the dot are connecting. So, you should understand that he might be trying to be on guard in case you visit him in the office.

If you have access to your fiancee phone, you should have evidence of what you are looking for.

Besides, if you are waiting to catch him red handed you go wait tire, some womanizers are expert.

So, if I were you I will communicate with him since you don’t have strong evidence you can confront him and ask him how does two condoms disappear from the room and also what he does with condoms in his office. Listen to his response as that will give you insight

Also try to visit your boyfriend early in the morning around 6am or 5:30 am once in a while or around 10pm, do this once in a while and you might catch him red handed that’s if you are smart enough.

If you wan catch womanizer, you have to be smart and intelligent especially in paying attention to the signs. As you see say two Condom miss, you should have checked his phone, call logs, copy his frequent contacts and paste it on his WhatsApp to see any match.. Search for these keywords on his WhatsApp “I love you” “Sex” “I miss you” “Girlfriend” “Visit me” “condom” “Transport” when you search these keywords, you might see traces of evidence, go to his facebook check his messages too.

If you are smart also, you can check his debit alert, go to his messages, check his debit alert and check for suspicious transfer to female, cram the names and search them on his WhatsApp too. You might be lucky to see what is hidden

Lol if you need evidence you have to dig it yourself.

For someone whom you are planning to marry, I think you should have access to his phone.

Try to dey do surprise visits without telling him you are coming or go to his house whenever he tells you he’s not at home to confirm.

In conclusion, make sure you talk to him about what you see especially if you have no access to his phone. Confront him about the missing condoms and the condoms at office. His response can give you clarification and come as a relief and reassurance for you.

12. Even you, you have your own flaws.

Two people with hot temper or anger issues are not compatible, it’s just like AS dating AS but there are ways to manage the situation without giving up on each other. We’re humans and everyone have their own weakness including you. Here are some ways to manage the compatibility issues

1. Tolerance. You would have to tolerate her anger issues for the rest of your life. When she’s angry, you already know her weakness so the best thing to do is to let her be til the matter cool off. This is an effective way to manage each other without issues.

However, if you always blow up or blow hot because she’s angry too, you may likely not experience a happy marriage because a hot tempered woman likely needs a calm man that will calm her nerves. Instead of saying “go to hell” say “Can we talk about this later, please?”

If you can tolerate her hot temper then it’s good. Besides, you also admit to having anger issues so instead of focusing on her own anger issues, you should work on your own first. Before you remove the stick in someone’s eyes I think it’s crucial to remove the stick in your own eyes too because an eye for eyes makes the world blind.

2. Let the change begin with you. You also have anger issues, let the change begin with you. Your girlfriend can learn how to control her emotions from you so lead by example.

3. Communicate with her. Discuss how you can overcome this challenge together and arrive at the same page. For instance, you can come to the conclusion that, “anytime we have a misunderstanding, no raising of voices, we must sit and sort it out peacefully”

4. Avoid her triggers. People don’t just blow hot for no reasons, she might be tempered because of your actions and behaviors. Try to investigate the cause of her anger or triggers and avoid doing them. We all have likes and dislikes so avoid her dislikes. Ask her what causes her anger, and also tell her things that causes yours. Knowing the things that trigger your anger issues can help you manage the situation

5. Walk out of every argument. If an argument is about to lead to anger issues, walk out and allow it to cool off before discussing it.

6. Be understanding. Try to see her anger issues as her weakness and learn to tolerate it because everyone have their own weakness but knowing how to adjust and building your partner to your own taste can make a difference. Ensure you do communicate with your woman to work on her flaws. As times goes on, I believe you will get used to each other and move on from this challenge. Moreso, when she’s talking, try to listen to her perspective and don’t always force your opinion on her, listen to her and make her feel heard. I believe all these should help.

13. What you need right now is a job not relationship. Country hard.

Being a student is not an excuse. Find something to do that will fetch you money. Freelancing, digital marketing, ushering jobs, survey sites etc. All these things are not easy but the hardest part of getting started is getting started. As a student, If you are broke and need something to survive, cry to your parents not your boyfriend. A boyfriend can only assist you if he have and if he doesn’t you can’t fault him for not giving you what you can’t give yourself. That’s why you have a parent and sponsors, cry to them. A broke woman doesn’t see herself as broke, she assumes she’s in the wrong relationship

“He won’t message until I message”

Online distance relationship? Throw him away!

14. He could have mentioned your name but he didn’t

“Do you think he’s the right person” Pay attention to the signs and you will have the right answers. That’s the reason why you are in a relationship, to date and screen them thoroughly. Only you can answer that question.

15. Advising a woman in love at times is a big waste of time….

If she could see the signs clearly since last year with her own eyes then who am I to dictate for her?

16. You could see the signs of a tribal family clearly with your own eyes…

17. My Betting Addiction Nearly Ruined Me—Here’s How I Overcame It👇

Betting is Draining Your Wallet? Here’s How to Break Free for Good👇

18. Good luck!

19. It is normal

20. Not all advices are right for you.

When you seek for advice anywhere either polytv, family or friends, you should rethink if their recommendations is really best for you.

When it comes to sexuality, your sister doesn’t have to know what’s going on, women are driven by emotions. You should have engaged your male friends and ask them about their experience, I bet it if you ask any of your nigga, within 2 minutes you will get confirm herb to use.

There are some cases that are best handled by family and some that are best handled by friends and some that are best handled by online peoples opinion.

If it’s a fight and misunderstanding, you can involve your sister but for sexual performance, that should be handled with maturity.

Your sister telling you to try other woman is wrong and that’s a silly thing to do, such recommendations can lead to a regrettable mistake if pregnancy should occur.

If you can last five minutes in bed then you don’t have any premature ejaculation problem and if you can sustain erection, you don’t have erectile dysfunction because that’s the normal time for men while some may go more depending on their body.

PS: MULTIPLE SEX PARTNERS WILL ONLY WORSEN YOUR SEXUAL LIFE. THAT RECOMMENDATION FROM YOUR SISTER SHOULD BE IGNORED.

21. Lack of communication and attention is enough reason to breakup with someone. If you have tried your best and carry them halfway and it’s the same, it’s enough reason to quit

22. Where did you heard this fallacy from lol

There is no specific time range. Just do what works for you.

Our sexual life differs. Some couples have sex once or twice a week. Some do it months or once in blue moon while some do it almost everytime.

It depends on you and your partner. Just do what works for you.

How often? Well, let me put it this way “as often as you are in the mood for sex and want it” What you heard is not true. That’s just a myth usually propagated by fornicators.

23. Lol you never enter school and nah marriage dey your mind? Isn’t that a misplaced priority and wasting your parents funds?

You want to live together with a boyfriend because of love? Person wey no get savings. If you do this, Your life go just spoil, you will cry and cry and nobody will be there to wipe your tears when the consequences comes.

See as single mothers plenty full everywhere, you can go ahead if you also want to join them but if you don’t want to be used and dumped, you better don’t!

Them send you go school, you never resume and you dey talk about living with boyfriend. Don’t dare make this Mistake. I repeat don’t try such.

Wait! Are you not the lady that was here two weeks ago claiming your long distance relationship boyfriend lacks financial management and his phone is always on airplane when together, I could remember lots of people advising you then to throw him away. If you are the same person that sent this again. I will come to the conclusion that “Advising a woman in love is a complete waste of time”

We already advised you what to do then, how’s this edition coming up? What is the essence of taking counseling when none is implemented?

Don’t worry you will learn very soon, that love wey blind your eyes go open when the time comes. If you like no wake up carry love for head like plantain. We already told you what to do earlier I suggest you revisit except if this is a different person which I doubt

24. May God forgive you