Connect with us

RELATIONSHIP

Is Going Back to an Ex a Good Idea? What you Should Know Before Going Back to an Ex After a Breakup

Is Going Back to an Ex a Good idea? What you Should Know Before Going Back to an Ex After a Breakup

 

Relationships and love are unpredictable as there will come a moment when things will get tough and this may result in heartbreak. Some people still think about their ex at all times, even when in a new relationship, so not everyone is capable of moving on so quickly after a heartbreak. And this is where this question, “Is getting back with an ex a good idea?” comes in. Well, before you decide whether to go back to your ex or not, there are some things you should know and do first.

1.KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

Ex means expired or a past life, so before you go back to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to know what you really want. Is your ex the kind of man or woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? If not, then there is no reason to go back to the relationship. You need to move on. I understand that this isn’t an easy decision, but trust me, it is the best decision. If he is not the kind of person you want, then going back is not a good idea because the relationship would not work. Thus, it is better to move on with your life than go back to your ex.

ALSO READ: 9 Tips to Keep a Man Interested in You in a Relationship

 

2. What Has Changed?

Going back to an ex is not a good idea. Do you know why? Because if the relationship was good in the first place, it would not have ended in a breakup. Some people beg for a second chance just to finish the job they didn’t start in the first place. So, just because your ex is begging you for another chance, does not mean that he or she has changed for the better. They might just want to make your life miserable again. So, before you accept going back to your ex, make sure he or she has truly changed, and if not, there is no reason for you to return to your vomit. Perhaps if you have reconciled with your ex more than twice, there is no need to think of going back to him/her again. You need to move on with your life and not backward. Going back to your ex will slow you down from meeting the right person.

 

Some people say, “The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know.” That philosophy is very wrong because nothing good comes from the devil, but an angel can still be friendly, so don’t go back to your ex because you feel you already know him/her and that you will change him/her. You can’t change someone that doesn’t want to be changed For example, if your ex beats you every time you have an argument or misunderstanding, or if he curses your family and abuses you when you break up with him/her, and then comes back for another chance, this is the devil, you know. Why should you give him/her another chance? Because you think he/she has changed? Well, we all deserve another chance, and this is why you have to take your time to study if S/he truly has changed, so that you won’t blame yourself for giving him/her a chance again.


Why did you break up with him/her in the first place? Was it cheating, jealousy, abuse? Or something else? Now think about what has changed that makes you think things will be different this time around. Change is the only thing that is constant in life. People change from good to bad and vice versa. So before you accept him or her back, be patient and study his or her actions and not just words so that you won’t regret accepting him or her back.

ALSO READ: 5 Ticks to Woo and Secure Your Woman in a Relationship

 

3. Why do people want ex-lovers back?

The reason why people want their ex back is because of love and the sweet memories they had together when the love was still burning. The good morning messages, birthday gifts, dinners etc. Some people find it difficult to move on, especially when they see that their ex is doing well without them. But before you send that “I miss you” message to your ex, before you comment on his or her social media posts, you need to ask yourself, “Why should I go back to my ex?” Is it because of the social media posts, because you truly miss him/her, or because you regret your actions and really want him/her back in your life? I want you to know that exes have ruined so many people’s marriages and relationships, and in fact, this ex has ruined some people’s lives. How? Some people have been in a new relationship while still communicating and hanging out with their ex, even when they clearly know the relationship with the ex could never work, so they just end up having s3x and s3x, and this might ruin their new relationship.

See also  How to Spice up Your Relationship in 15 Romantic Ways

 

I saw a story of a man who was poisoned by his ex-girlfriend a few weeks into his marriage. This is what happens when you find it difficult to cut off the relationship with your ex, particularly the toxic ones. Your ex is your ex. The relationship has expired. S/he is gone for good and you have to let them go for you to move on. The sweet memories might still ring in your heart. That’s nature, and it’s normal. You might feel jealous seeing them with another person, but still, that should not be a reason for you to go back to your ex, unless you are sure that he is your right match and you are ready to make things work out this time.

ALSO READ: Six (6) Things That kills Relationship

 

4. Are you willing to do the repair?

When a relationship breaks, communication falls and feelings tend to die, which makes the relationship difficult to revive. This is why sometimes it becomes impossible for you to win your ex back because the feelings could have died during the break. Going back to your ex isn’t a good idea. However, if you really want him/her back, after you have confirmed that he/she has changed, then you have to ask yourself if both of you are willing to make the necessary repairs in the relationship.

 

Repair means fixing the issues that led to the breakup to avoid a recurrence in the future. If poor communication was the reason for the breakup, then this time around you should both work on how to make the communication stronger. However, if you are not willing to repair the relationship or if you think the relationship has broken beyond repair, then it’s better you move on and forget about getting back to your ex.

ALSO READ: 12TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP (Check out the category you belong)

 

In addition, if you are already in a new relationship, then getting back to your ex is not a good idea. Therefore, you have to cut off all means of seeing your ex or communicating with your ex, as failure to do so could affect your present relationship. The love between you and your ex might have died, but the truth is, there will still be an infatuation if you keep communicating, and you might end up sleeping with him/her over and over again, and you will keep wondering how that was possible.

 

To avoid all these, you need to cut your ex from your life, not because S/he wasn’t good for you but for you to be able to focus on your present life and move on. Besides, there is no way you can move forward if you are still stuck in the past. “I still very much love my ex, but that is not a reason for me to go back to her, knowing fully well that the relationship can’t work because love is not enough.” That you love him/her is not a reason to get back into the relationship. Love is not enough to keep a relationship.

Moreso, never compare your ex with your present relationship because people are different. Your ex might have treated you badly, but that doesn’t mean another man or woman will behave just like your ex did. Instead, learn from your past and focus on moving your life to the next level.

See also  9 Tips to Keep a Man Interested In You In a Relationship 

ALSO READ: ARE YOU A BIG GIRL OR CHEAP GIRL? (Check Out 11 things that define a Big Girl)

 

5. Can I see someone better than my ex?

Yes, there is a 100% probability that you will meet someone who is and will treat you better than your ex, but you can never see someone better if you are still stuck with your ex. Some people brag and say, “You will never see someone like me.” Well, that may be true, but I don’t pray to have someone like you; I pray to have someone better than you. I learned that people also say, “You can’t know the value of what you have until you lose it,” and I reply to them by saying, “You can’t know the value of what you have been missing until you lose what you have.” If your ex was bad and not ready to change, then there is no need to be afraid of letting him/her go. You need to forget about the relationship.

ALSO READ: 8 Reasons Why Dating Your Course Mate is Good

 

6. Does Getting Back to an Ex Ever Work?

Yes, getting back to an ex can work only if both of you are ready to put aside the differences and reconcile to make the relationship work, but achieving this takes a lot of time, love, and understanding. This can only work if the love is genuine and both are ready to take responsibility for making the relationship work, but the chances of getting back to an ex are low. Don’t be too quick to rush into another relationship after a heartbreak. Wait for at least 3 months to see if your ex will come for you.


7. Is it Normal to Want to Go Back to an Ex After a Breakup?

Yes, it is normal to want to go back to your ex. That is nature. People go back to their exes even when they know that the relationship can never work. If you have the urge to want to go back to your ex, it is normal, but that should not be a reason for you to go back.

ALSO READ: THREE(3) THINGS THAT CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE AS A MAN

 

8. Your ex is not your enemy.

Your ex might have wronged you so badly that you hate them so much that you don’t want to see them in your life. Well, it’s human nature to hate, but in the case of your ex, try as much as possible to forgive and move on with your life. Forgiveness is a sign of maturity and it is evident that you don’t have any grudges against your ex as you don’t know what the future holds. Forgiving your ex doesn’t mean you want him/her back in your life; it means you have let go of the pain they brought to your life. So don’t see your ex as your enemy if you come across them in the street; greet and move on rather than insult or fight.

READ ALSO: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid while Traveling

 

9. BUILD SPACE.

Sometimes the best way to move on after a heartbreak with your ex is for you to build space, and to achieve this, you can block your ex from calling you and also on social media. Some ex-lovers are toxic as they never want you to have a happy life because you broke up with them, and the best thing to do is to give them space.

In conclusion, going back to an ex is not really a good idea. Perhaps, if you have already moved on with your life and are doing well without your ex, there is no need to get back to him/her. Instead, focus on moving forward with your life. However, if you think your ex deserves a second chance and you are confident that S/he has changed, you can give it a trial but don’t be eager to trust him/her. Best wishes. Drop your comment in the box below.

ALSO READ: 10 Inspiring Tips to Keep Your Relationship Away From Sex

SHARE THIS CONTENT

POLYTV Admin A.k.a 9jaPoly is A passionate Reporter that provides complete, accurate and compelling coverage of both anticipated and spontaneous News. 9jaPoly Started his career as a blogger and campus reporter in 2016. He loves to feed people with relevant Info. He is a polytechnic graduate (HND BIOCHEMISTRY). POLY TV ADMIN is a relationship expert and life coach. Apart from blogging, He love watching movies and meeting with new people to share ideas with. Add 9jaPOLY on WhatsApp +2347040957598 to enjoy more of his Updates and Articles.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Oluwatobiloba Taiwo

    at

    I really try to get my ex back but is not working for me at all and is because I love him that’s the reason I try to talk to him but he’s not ready to listen to me. And his memories don’t stop on my head .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Trending

error: Alert: Content selection is disabled!!