RELATIONSHIP

12 Reasons Why Couples Stop Having Sex

Ever noticed how hot and heavy things used to be — and now it feels like you’re roommates instead of lovers? You’re not alone in asking why your partner suddenly lost interest in sex or why intimacy in your relationship has dried up. Many couples face this turning point. Sometimes it’s silent and slow; other times, it’s a clear stop sign you didn’t see coming. Before jumping to conclusions or labeling your partner as “not in love anymore,” let’s dig into what’s really going on behind closed doors.

Below are some of the most common (and not-so-obvious) reasons couples stop having sex — and what you can do about it.

1. Religion Beliefs.

Many religious doctrines believe that sex before marriage is a sin. For individuals who want to be born again or decide to repent and live a Godly lifestyle, they might stop having sex with you or even do away with sex totally. This is a new chapter in their life, and regardless of their past, people change—and that’s normal. So if you notice this change in your relationship, don’t be surprised. It happens.

What can I do? Communicate with your spouse about how their new belief might be affecting your relationship and listen to their reasons. See if there’s a way you both can handle it—maybe by reducing the frequency of sex or avoiding it altogether. If you both can’t agree on the same page, it might be best to let go because sexual intimacy is one of the things that helps couples bond. You can’t force them to have sex with you.

2. Spiritual Problems

Another reason why couples stop having sex could be as a result of spiritual challenges—things like spiritual attacks, spiritual husbands or wives, or spiritual companions (Egbe). Some people experience dreams or spiritual encounters that affect their physical desire for intimacy. In such cases, they are often advised to avoid sex and focus on prayers.

If your partner is dealing with spiritual problems, try to show empathy and support. Don’t pressure them—support them with prayer, understanding, and patience. A healthy relationship includes both emotional and spiritual connection.

ALSO READ: How to Stop a Man from Cheating on You: 13 Ways

3. Financial Challenges

Not that your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t interested in intimacy, but when there’s no money, the body ‘no go gree.’ Financial stress and economic hardship can drain the desire for sex. A broke man might not be thinking of sex because he has bills to pay or rent to sort out. Even the woman may not be in the mood because she’s mentally stressed.

What can I do? If your partner isn’t financially stable, reassure them that your love is not based on money. Make them feel valued, appreciated, and supported. Stop asking for money after sex like you’re a call girl. Let your relationship be built on emotions and mutual support, not transactions.

4. Personal Decisions

Yes, people can stop having sex because of their own personal reasons. Your girlfriend might suddenly say, “No sex till marriage,” and you’ll be confused like, “What are you saying? Haven’t we been doing it for years?” The truth is, people grow and make new decisions. The fact that she’s not a virgin doesn’t mean she should continue a lifestyle she no longer wants. Same with guys—a man can zip up without being weak.

What can I do? Talk to your partner. Ask why they made that decision and how you can both handle it together. Respect their choice but also express your feelings. Intimacy is part of any strong relationship, and communication is key.

ALSO READ: 7 Signs Your Relationship Is Under Spiritual Attack

5. Infidelity

One of the top reasons couples stop having sex is cheating. If your partner is getting their satisfaction elsewhere, of course, your sex life will drop. They begin to make excuses: “I’m tired,” “I’m not in the mood,” “I’m busy.” Worst part? If one partner catches the other cheating, they might refuse to have sex out of anger or fear of catching STDs.

What can I do? Talk. Express how their cheating has hurt you. Don’t bottle it in. If you still want to fix things, seek forgiveness and counseling. But if the damage is too much and sex is now a distant memory, maybe it’s time to move on. Sex is not everything, but it plays a role in building connection.

ALSO READ: How to Be Free from a Spiritual Husband and Spiritual Wife

6. Fights and Misunderstanding

When there’s too much quarrel, couples drift apart emotionally and sexually. Silent treatment, emotional distance, and unresolved fights can kill sexual desire. Some partners even use sex as punishment—“You annoyed me, so no touching tonight.”

What can I do? Stop using sex as a weapon. In fact, use it as a peacemaker. Sometimes, making love helps settle differences faster than a 3-hour talk. Don’t hoard sex thinking you’re punishing them—it might push them into someone else’s arms.

7. Health Concerns

Health issues can make a person avoid sex. For instance, people with high blood pressure, heart conditions, or recent surgeries might decide to take a break. Also, STDs, infections, or recurring illnesses might cause fear or reduce desire.

What can I do? Go for regular medical checkups. Take care of your health and your partner’s too. Sometimes during sex, you think you’re “cumming,” not knowing you’re actually “going.” Health is wealth—don’t joke with it.

ALSO READ: Emotional Intimacy vs. Physical Intimacy in Relationships

8. Stress and Mental Exhaustion

In today’s hustle and bustle, many couples are too stressed to even think of sex. Work pressure, school demands, family responsibilities—it’s a lot. After a long day, some people just want food and sleep.

What can I do? Create time for each other. Reduce distractions. Go on dates. Turn off the TV, put down the phone, and reconnect. Sometimes, all it takes is intentional effort and rest to spark the fire again.

9. Lack of Emotional Connection

Sex without emotional connection feels empty. If your partner doesn’t feel loved, respected, or appreciated, they might withdraw physically too. It’s not always about the act—sometimes, it’s about how they feel inside.

What can I do? Compliment your partner. Make them feel special. Emotional intimacy is the foundation of physical intimacy. When the heart is connected, the body follows.

10. Boredom in the Bedroom

Yes, it happens. Same style, same routine, same everything. The excitement dies, and sex becomes a chore instead of pleasure.

What can I do? Spice things up! Change location, try new things, talk about your fantasies. Keep it fun and unpredictable. Don’t be shy to explore what makes both of you happy.