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What to Do When a Woman Hits You: How to React the Right Way

One of the trending topics on social media lately is how to respond when a woman hits you first. Many people argue that you should fight back, while a few suggest walking away. Those who advocate for walking away are often labeled as “simps” or “weak.” But how should a man truly respond to this situation? In this post, I will analyze this topic using real-life experiences and case studies to help couples make informed decisions without complicating things further.

Fights and misunderstandings are normal in relationships, but in some cases, they escalate to physical violence, leading to a woman hitting a man first.

The truth is, for every reaction, there must be an action. For a man to beat up a woman—or for a woman to hit him first—something must have happened between them. Some of the main causes include:

Provocation

During a misunderstanding, one thing I have observed about some women is that they often use provocative words or actions that push a man to react. For example, she might say, “So you want to beat me, abi? Come and beat me now, useless man.” A man who doesn’t tolerate disrespect might react instantly. Also, some women have a hot temper and struggle with anger. Before you know it, they start insulting the man, and in the heat of the moment, they hit him. Out of self-defense or pride, the man might feel forced to retaliate to protect his ego, even though this isn’t the best approach.

So, how should a man respond to this kind of disrespect? To avoid physical violence in relationships or domestic abuse in marriage, it is important to walk away from every heated argument. If a conversation is getting more intense than you can handle, leave the scene. When emotions settle, you can have a mature discussion. But if you try to act like a “real man” by matching aggression with aggression, things can quickly spiral out of control.

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Bad Parenting

Many people grew up in homes where domestic violence was the norm, and they inherited the toxic habits of their parents. If a woman grows up watching her mother fight her father, she might believe it is normal to hit her partner. Likewise, if a man watches his father beat his mother instead of resolving issues peacefully, he may become abusive as well.

As parents and individuals, we must embrace patience and adopt communication rather than violence. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and children learn behaviors from their parents.

What to do: If you notice your girlfriend is aggressive and attempts to hit you, warn her that there will be consequences if she ever tries it again. This might discourage her. However, if she continues, the best lesson is to walk away—not just from the situation but from the relationship entirely. No one should remain in an abusive relationship, no matter how much love is involved. Instead of hitting back or arguing, walk away and ensure she is no longer part of your life. One thing is certain: if you walk away, she might return to beg for forgiveness. Do not forgive such mannerless behavior.

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Abuse and Insults

When pushed to the extreme, people sometimes act out emotionally. For instance, some couples exchange harsh words instead of calmly communicating and taking responsibility for their actions. This can escalate to physical violence.

Example:

Him: How dare you talk to me like that? Are you mad?

Her: It is your parents that are mad, not me.

Him: If they born you well, repeat that again.

Her: She then walks up to him, grabs his shirt, hits him, and says, “Do your worst. If you don’t beat me today, you are a bastard.”

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What should a man do in this situation?

Brother, domestic violence is never the answer. Hitting back doesn’t make you stronger. If you ever find yourself in such a scenario, walk away and end the relationship. You have no business engaging in a physical fight with a woman. If she loses a good man like you, maybe she will learn to be respectful in future relationships.

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Social Media Pressure

Social media is not real life. Many people online will tell you to fight back, but most of them don’t live by the same advice they give. Let me share some real-life experiences that prove walking away is the best choice.

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Experience 1: My Uncle’s Story

My uncle married a second wife after divorcing his first. They constantly argued, exchanging insults and abuse. One day, during a heated argument, she hit him. I advised him to walk away, but he refused, saying he had to teach her a lesson.

He grabbed an iron rod and threatened to hit her if she didn’t stop. She continued insulting him and held onto his shirt. In anger, he struck her with the iron, and blood started gushing out. We rushed her to a clinic—thankfully, she survived. However, my uncle was arrested and had to pay hospital bills. The injury left a permanent scar on her head. Despite everything, their toxic marriage continued until they finally separated.

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Experience 2: My Neighbor’s Story

A co-tenant’s wife hit him, and he fought back. In the chaos, a man who tried to separate them was pushed, hit his head on the door, and died. That was one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve witnessed.

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Experience 3: A Nigerian Policeman and His Wife

A police officer in Nigeria accused his wife of infidelity, leading to a heated argument. He hit her, and she fought back, eventually cutting off his manhood. Both bled to death.

Maybe if the policeman or his wife had chosen to walk away and settle the argument later, they would still be alive today. Maybe if my uncle had walked away, he wouldn’t have been arrested or forced to pay huge hospital bills. Maybe if my neighbor had walked away, that man who died trying to separate them would still be alive. Some troubles are avoidable. Instead of engaging in a physical fight, walk away and settle conflicts through communication. And if your partner is naturally aggressive, end the relationship.

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Lessons Learned from These Experiences

Never marry an aggressive partner. If a woman destroys your belongings during arguments, dump her.
Avoid verbally abusive partners. If you’re constantly provoked, things can escalate. Walk away and end the relationship.
As a woman, your best weapon is silence. If a man disrespects you, stay silent. Later, communicate your concerns calmly. Never raise your hands on a man; it could have serious consequences.
Mind your business. If a couple is fighting, don’t interfere physically. Instead, call the police or get help from a bystander.
Walking away is not weakness. It protects your dignity and helps you avoid unnecessary problems. If a woman constantly hits you, your relationship has deeper issues. It may be best to leave.
Make your boundaries clear. Let every woman know you won’t tolerate abuse. If she hits you, there will be consequences—whether it’s ending the relationship or walking away.