How to Flirt in a Long-Term Relationship to Keep It Exciting

When a relationship begins, flirting feels effortless. There’s anticipation, excitement, and a constant desire to impress each other. But as time goes on, comfort replaces novelty. You know each other’s routines, preferences, and even quirks by heart. While that comfort is beautiful, it can also make things feel predictable—and that’s where many couples unknowingly let the spark fade.

But flirting isn’t just for new love. In long-term relationships, it’s one of the most underrated ways to keep things fresh and passionate. Flirting brings back those teasing smiles, playful remarks, and subtle touches that once made your heart race. And the good news is, you don’t have to reinvent your relationship to bring it back. Here’s how to flirt with your partner—even after years together—in ways that are fun, natural, and emotionally fulfilling.

1. Act Like You’re Still Trying to Win Them Over

Think back to when you were just getting to know each other. You probably dressed up for date nights, sent thoughtful texts, and found clever ways to compliment them. Just because you’re together now doesn’t mean that effort should stop.

For instance, try texting your partner during the day with something flirtatious like, “I can’t stop thinking about last night.” Or surprise them with a cheeky compliment as they walk into the room. Say, “Remind me again how I got so lucky?” These small, teasing remarks bring a sense of pursuit back into the relationship.

2. Keep Physical Flirting Alive

Physical touch is one of the simplest ways to show desire—but it often becomes routine over time. A peck on the cheek, a quick hug, or just brushing past each other in the hallway might lose their spark if you’re not intentional.

To keep things exciting, add flirtation to your touches. For example, when your partner is cooking, slide your arms around their waist and whisper something playful. Or when you’re sitting on the couch, run your fingers slowly down their arm, just like you might have on your second date. Touch them in ways that say, “I still find you irresistible.”

3. Use Inside Jokes and Pet Names to Spark Playfulness

Long-term couples usually have inside jokes or pet names that no one else understands. These become tools for private connection—a kind of language only the two of you speak.

Use them often. For example, bring up a funny moment from your early dates and tease them about it. Say, “Remember when you tried to impress me with your cooking and nearly burned the kitchen?” It brings laughter, nostalgia, and affection all at once. Or if you have a pet name that’s sweet or silly, don’t let it disappear. It may sound small, but those little details help keep the romantic energy alive.

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4. Be Unexpected (Even in the Little Things)

Routine is comforting, but too much of it can turn romantic gestures into obligations. That’s why flirting often thrives on the unexpected.

Say your partner has a stressful day. Instead of just asking, “How was your day?” greet them at the door with a flirty line like, “The most attractive person I know is finally home—my night just got better.” Or randomly leave a note in their bag that says, “I’m still crazy about you.”

Flirting thrives in the space between routine and surprise. When you disrupt the ordinary with something fun or cheeky, it brings back a spark that says, “We’re not just a team—we’re lovers too.”

5. Make Eye Contact That Says More Than Words

Couples often forget the power of eye contact. During the early days, a lingering glance could send shivers. Now, many communicate while looking at phones, laptops, or TVs.

Take a moment each day to look into your partner’s eyes without distraction. Hold their gaze for a few seconds longer. For example, over dinner, pause and say, “You still have the most distracting eyes.” This kind of direct, flirtatious attention can instantly reconnect you. It’s subtle, but it speaks volumes.

6. Flirt Over Text Like You’re Still Dating

Texting doesn’t have to be only about reminders and to-do lists. Long-term couples can—and should—still flirt over text. It keeps the emotional connection alive, especially when you’re apart during the day.

Send a playful message like, “Thinking about last night… care to repeat it later?” Or something more innocent but cheeky like, “I just saw someone who reminded me of you—but you’re way better looking.” Even if you’re in the same house, a fun text can be unexpected and exciting.

ALSO READ: 10 Golden Rules to Make Your Relationship Perfect

7. Revisit the Things You Did at the Start

What did you both do in the beginning that made you fall harder for each other? Was it dressing up for dates? Dancing in the living room? Long, flirty phone calls?

Try reintroducing those moments. For instance, recreate your first date—same food, same clothes if you can. Play the music you both loved early on and flirt like it’s day one. Or if you used to send flirty selfies or voice notes, start doing it again. These callbacks remind you both of where it all began—and why it’s still worth the effort.

8. Tease and Challenge Each Other Playfully

Teasing doesn’t have to be harsh. When done gently, it’s one of the most powerful tools of flirtation. Say your partner takes forever getting ready. You might smile and say, “Should I book a table for tonight or breakfast tomorrow?” It’s light, funny, and shows affection.

You can also challenge each other in a playful way. Maybe during a board game or workout session, bet on something silly—like, “If I win, you owe me a massage.” These playful interactions bring back that competitive flirtatiousness you likely had when things were new.

9. Compliment More Than Just Their Looks

While saying “You look hot” never gets old, complimenting who your partner is can be even more powerful. For example, if they’re working hard on something, say, “I love how passionate you get when you’re focused. It’s honestly such a turn-on.” When you admire more than just appearance, it makes flirting feel meaningful—and reminds your partner they’re deeply appreciated.

ALSO READ: Steps to Take After Your First Date to Keep the Spark Alive