RELATIONSHIP

10 Smart Ways to Catch a Cheating Partner Without Hiring a Loyalty Tester

People have been asking me if I still do loyalty tests—you know, those calls to your boyfriend or girlfriend to check if they’re faithful. Yes, I used to do that. But after seeing how much heartbreak it caused, I stopped. These days, I tell people: Don’t rush into testing them. Instead, learn to pay attention to the signs. If you can list out what you’ve observed, I might help you make sense of it and offer advice that clears your doubt.

But for now, let me walk you through how to find out on your own. These tips are based on real-life experience and can help you figure out where you really stand in your relationship.

1. Always Write Things Down

If you’re serious about catching a chronic cheater, you need to be smart. Start by writing down the things your partner tells you—where they say they went, who they say they were with, what they claim happened.

One time, I asked someone I was dating about where she went. She said she stayed home. I wrote it down with the date. Months later, I stumbled on a video from an event she actually attended that same day. When I confronted her, she started switching stories. That was enough confirmation. I didn’t fight or stress it. I just paid attention, waited, and the truth exposed itself. Cheaters are usually serial liars. They stack one lie on top of another. To catch them, stay quiet and gather details.

2. Investigate Their Past

If someone cheated on their ex just to be with you, what makes you think they won’t do the same to you? Check their past. Ask questions, document their responses, and revisit those same questions after some time. If their story changes, that’s a red flag. A person who has a track record of cheating may not change just because you’re “different.” Patterns don’t lie.

3. Look at Their Circle of Friends

You are who you hang around. If your boyfriend’s close friends are players and womanizers, chances are he’s either doing the same or influenced by them. Same goes for ladies—if her clique includes girls who cheat or entertain sugar daddies, you better shine your eyes. Ask about their friends. Ask how many partners their friends have, how their relationships are going, and pay attention to how they respond. Sometimes, you have to act naive to get the truth.

4. Ask for Public Acknowledgment

If you’re dating someone and they’re hiding you like a stolen phone, that’s a problem. A cheating partner will never willingly show you off. They may even restrict you or others from seeing certain posts online.

Ask them to post you on WhatsApp, Instagram, or even use your photo as a profile pic. If your relationship has lasted over a year and they still haven’t introduced you to family or friends, you should be worried.

5. Show Up Unannounced in the Morning

Want to know the truth? Visit your partner early in the morning—like around 6am—without informing them. A lot of ladies have caught their men this way, especially if there’s a “hookup girl” spending the night.

If he suddenly claims he’s traveling, wish him well, then go check his place the next day. Most chronic cheaters use “I’m traveling” as an excuse to get space to cheat. If he really traveled, call and request to speak with someone where he claimed to be. This is not jealousy—it’s you trying to protect your heart.

ALSO READ: How to Handle Seeing Your Ex with Someone Else

6. Watch for Sudden Changes

Behavior never lies. If your partner starts acting differently—like they don’t call you as much, they’re dodging your questions, or you just feel disconnected—there might be someone else in the picture.

I remember one day, I saw five missed calls from a girlfriend early in the morning. That was strange because I usually don’t get calls in the morning. I wrote it down. When I called back and asked where she was, her story kept changing. First it was “I’m at work,” then suddenly, “Just joking, I’m at home.” That was the red flag.

After a few months, I checked her phone—and everything made sense. The signs had been there all along. I was shocked but not surprised because I could see the signs and the signs were as accurate as what I found on her phone.

7. Pay Attention to Their Phone Behavior

A partner who always puts their phone on airplane mode or leaves it at home when coming to see you might be hiding something. If they start locking all their apps, deleting chats, or acting shady with their phone, don’t ignore it. I always tell people: if they can give you their body but hide their phone, something is off.

If you’re smart, you can even check their bank apps or alerts. Some guys who claim to be broke are sending money to side chicks. Some girls receive cash gifts from other men while pretending they’re loyal to you. Don’t be fooled. Normalize checking phones.

ALSO READ: Can I Marry a Woman Who Cheated on Me and Slept With Someone Else?

8. Watch Out for Sudden Glow-Ups

A change in appearance could mean they’re trying to impress someone new. If your man suddenly starts hitting the gym or changing his wardrobe, or if your girl suddenly switches up her style, buys wigs, or starts dressing like an influencer—be observant. That new glow-up might not be for you.

9. They Stop Caring About You

When someone is cheating, you’ll feel the distance. Communication drops. The attention reduces. They become emotionally unavailable. When you ask for effort, they act like you’re disturbing them. They only remember you when their side partner disappoints them. If you constantly feel like a backup option, maybe it’s because you are.

10. Try the Status Test

This one’s funny but works like magic. If you ever get access to their phone, post your picture on their WhatsApp status with a caption like: “Meet my boyfriend” or “This is my girlfriend, love of my life”. Then wait and watch the comments. You’ll be shocked at who reacts. Comments like “Bro, what about Deborah?” or “Bestie, what happened to Samson?” will start flying. That’s how the real owner of the heart will show face.