RELATIONSHIP

How Toxic Relationships Affect Your Mental Health

Picture this: you’re always on edge around someone who claims to care about you. One moment they’re sweet, the next they’re cold or cruel. You question your worth, your choices, and even your sanity. It drains your energy, steals your joy, and leaves you wondering what happened to the person you used to be. Toxic relationships don’t just break hearts — they can break minds too.

Many people stay in damaging relationships far longer than they should, often because they’re hoping things will change or they feel too worn down to leave. What’s worse is that the longer you stay, the deeper the emotional wounds can grow, leaving lasting scars that reach far beyond the end of the relationship.

What Makes a Relationship Toxic?

A toxic relationship is any connection that leaves you feeling worse about yourself instead of better. It could be with a romantic partner, friend, family member, or even a co-worker. Manipulation, lies, constant criticism, guilt-tripping, and controlling behaviour are some red flags.

At its core, a toxic relationship is unbalanced. One person may hold power over the other, using fear, shame, or guilt as tools to get what they want. Over time, this chips away at self-esteem and distorts how you see yourself and the world around you.

The Hidden Damage to Your Self-Worth

One of the most painful impacts of toxic relationships is how they attack your confidence. Toxic partners or friends often blame you for problems they caused, making you feel responsible for fixing everything. This constant blame can convince you that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or lovable as you are. Many people start doubting their memories, instincts, and feelings. Gaslighting — when someone twists the truth to make you question reality — is common in toxic dynamics. Over time, this can lead to feeling helpless and trapped.

How Toxic Relationships Feed Anxiety and Depression

Being stuck in a cycle of emotional chaos can drain every bit of mental energy you have. Constant arguments, silent treatments, and mood swings from the other person keep you in a state of tension. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. This chronic stress can lead to anxiety, sleep problems, panic attacks, and deep sadness. It’s not uncommon for people in toxic relationships to feel isolated too, because they may be cut off from supportive friends and family. Loneliness only makes anxiety and depression worse.

Physical Symptoms That Shouldn’t Be Ignored

Emotional pain often shows up physically. People in unhealthy relationships may develop headaches, stomach issues, muscle pain, or even heart palpitations. Long-term stress weakens the immune system, making you more prone to illnesses. Some people turn to unhealthy coping methods like overeating, drinking, or other risky habits just to numb the pain.

Why Leaving Can Feel Impossible

One reason people stay stuck is because toxic people are often unpredictable. They might be loving and charming one day, cruel the next. This creates confusion and false hope that things will magically improve. Deep down, many hold on to memories of better times, hoping those moments will return. Fear of being alone, financial dependency, or worrying about what others might think can make leaving feel like an impossible mountain to climb. Sadly, the longer you stay, the harder it can be to see just how damaging the relationship really is.

Steps to Protect Your Mental Health

If you’re in a toxic relationship, protecting your mental health must come first. Start by recognising that the situation isn’t healthy, no matter how many excuses you hear. Talk to someone you trust — a friend, counsellor, or family member who won’t judge you.

Set boundaries and stick to them. Limit contact when possible, and remind yourself that you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change. Sometimes, the safest option is to cut ties completely, even if it hurts at first. Rebuilding self-worth takes time. Be patient with yourself and reconnect with people who genuinely support you. Simple acts of self-care — eating well, sleeping enough, exercising, or picking up hobbies you enjoy — can help you remember who you were before the relationship took so much from you.

Professional Support Can Make a Difference

If leaving feels too overwhelming, or you’re dealing with deep emotional wounds, talking to a mental health professional can help you untangle the mess in your mind. Therapy provides a safe space to process your feelings, rebuild confidence, and develop tools to set healthier boundaries in future relationships. For those experiencing physical or emotional abuse, local support groups, helplines, or shelters can offer guidance and safety planning. No one should ever feel trapped in a relationship that hurts more than it heals.

Moving Forward: Healing Takes Time

Healing from a toxic relationship doesn’t happen overnight. Some people feel immediate relief once they cut ties, while others grieve the loss of what they hoped the relationship could be. It’s normal to feel angry, sad, or even guilty at first.