11 Things to Consider Before Moving in Together

Are you thinking about moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Before making this decision, it’s important to consider different aspects of your relationship and personal habits to ensure a smooth transition. Here are some important things to keep in mind before taking that step.

1. Consent

Consent is essential before moving in with a partner. Seek their approval first—don’t just assume your boyfriend would appreciate your presence in his apartment. Talk to them about whether they are comfortable accommodating you, how long they are willing to do so, and whether it’s a temporary or permanent arrangement. This will also help establish clear boundaries.

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2. What Are Your Reasons for Moving In?

Why do you want to move in with your partner? Think about it carefully. Is it due to financial reasons, or are you planning to settle down soon? Whatever your reasons, give them a second thought before finalizing your decision. If it’s a financial crisis, have you tried asking family or friends for help? If it’s due to a lack of accommodation, have you considered staying with family or friends instead?

Before anything else, ask yourself why you want to live together. Is it for convenience, financial reasons, or because you’re ready to build a life under the same roof? Being honest about your motivations can help prevent misunderstandings later. If one person sees it as a step toward marriage and the other just wants to cut down on rent, conflicts may arise down the line.

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3. Finances

Another factor to consider before moving in together is financial stability. Are you doing well financially? What about your partner? Are they financially stable as well?

If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” then moving in together might not be a good idea due to financial instability.

Will expenses be split evenly, or will contributions be based on income? Talk about how rent, utilities, and unexpected costs will be handled to avoid conflicts. Additionally, consider whether you want a joint account for shared expenses or if you’ll keep finances separate. Having clarity on this topic will make managing daily expenses much easier.

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4. Family Acceptance

Family acceptance is important before moving in together. Make sure your parents approve of your relationship and are aware of your decision to live together, whether temporarily or permanently. If your parents are against the relationship, moving in together might not be the best idea. Your family and friends should also know where you’re living for security and peace of mind.

If you accommodate a woman who isn’t your wife without anyone’s knowledge and, unfortunately, something happens to her under your roof, you could face serious trouble. Before moving in together, ensure that at least your families are aware and approve of your decision. This also signifies that your relationship is making progress.

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5. Discuss Your Responsibilities

Before moving in together, talk about how you will manage responsibilities and split the bills—whether it’s 50/50, 60/40, or another arrangement. It’s important for both partners to actively contribute while living together. This discussion can strengthen understanding and prevent conflicts.

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6. Backup Plan if Things Don’t Work Out

Even with the best intentions, things don’t always go as planned. Have an open conversation about what would happen if the living arrangement doesn’t work. Who would move out? How would financial matters be settled? Having a plan in place can make a breakup less complicated if it ever comes to that.

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7. Long-Term Goals and Future Plans

Where do you both see the relationship going? If one person views living together as a step toward marriage while the other sees it as a trial run with no long-term plans, problems may arise. Make sure both of you are on the same page about long-term goals to avoid confusion and unmet expectations.

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8. Emergency Situations

Life is unpredictable, and unexpected situations can arise. Talk about how you will handle emergencies, whether it’s a medical issue, job loss, or another financial burden. Do you have savings set aside? How will you support each other through difficult times? Being prepared can help reduce stress during tough moments.

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9. Guests and Social Life

Discuss expectations regarding visitors, including friends and family members. Some people enjoy hosting, while others prefer a quiet home. Talk about how often guests will be invited over, whether overnight stays are okay, and how to handle situations where one person wants company while the other prefers alone time.

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10. Conflict Resolution

No relationship is without disagreements. Before moving in, think about how you and your partner handle conflicts. Are you able to communicate openly and resolve issues respectfully? If disagreements often turn into prolonged arguments or silent treatment, living together may amplify those tensions. Establish a way to address disagreements in a healthy manner to keep the relationship strong.

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11. Personal Space and Alone Time

No matter how much you love each other, everyone needs personal space. Discuss how you’ll handle alone time and independence within the shared space. Will you have separate work areas? Do you both enjoy socializing at home, or does one person prefer quiet time? Finding a balance between togetherness and personal space is essential for a healthy living arrangement.

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Who Should Never Cohabit?

These categories of people should avoid moving in with a partner:

1. Students

Students have no business cohabiting. You were sent to school to study, not to be in a live-in relationship. Living together as a student who is still financially dependent on parents is a misplaced priority. It can be a distraction and cause you to lose focus on your goals.

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2. People Struggling Financially

If you are still struggling with financial stability, avoid cohabitation. It can lead to unnecessary pressure, distractions, and even premature commitments. Living together can be expensive, especially if one partner is financially dependent on the other.

Living with a boyfriend or girlfriend when you are financially unstable can also slow you down from achieving your financial goals. If you’re still battling with finances, cohabitation may not be the best choice.

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3. Those Not Ready to Settle Down

If you can’t say when you’re likely to settle down for marriage, avoid living together. It’s important to have a clear vision of your future together before making such a commitment.

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4. Couples in a Fresh Relationship

If the relationship is barely a few months old, moving in together may not be a wise decision. Take time to build mutual love, understanding, and respect before considering cohabitation. Establish effective communication and get to know each other better first.

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5. Couples Who Fight Often

Couples who frequently argue should avoid cohabitation. While disagreements are normal in relationships, constant fights can indicate deeper incompatibility. Moving in together under such conditions may lead to verbal or even physical abuse, which can have serious consequences.

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